Trapped in a vicious cycle
Unwinding the matters of the heart

When will you wake up?
Stop deceiving yourself

Hurt to the unearthed depths
Feelings of disappointment and pain

Prorities not placed
My heart is misplaced

Unappreciated and undervalued
Thou shall seek

Felt like you were not there but you were there
So many differences there were
One by one we conquered
We felt like we would belong together forever
Truth could be otherwise

Our bond seems impregnable
Yet the tiniest things could make us crumble
Wonder the reason of this
Is all but a gap for you to ponder


My brain's exploding. I'm tired and exhausted mentally, I need to get some sleep. I looked through some mags earlier at baby's place and suddenly thought that some streetwear brands and stuff really do look cool and great. hahahhaa. I need to get some sleep..

Happy CNY! :D

I need a break, from all the schoolwork. Everything is coming at me and I feel like escaping. I think I'll experience burnout sooner or later. The thing is, everyone else is getting about the same workload. Why do I not have the right attitude and mentality to get past all these?

Yesterday was horrible. The night before, I studied for my lecture quiz yesterday and I really practised alot. But guess what, when I got the paper and actually tried doing it, I could attempt nothing. Nothing. The questions which I had practised so many hours before and seen before, and I couldn't attempt. Right after the paper, I couldn't stand. I couldn't face anything. I left right straight for the toilet to seek comfort after the paper. I had an awful day yesterday and today ain't any better. I really want to just get away from everything.

The going is getting harder and harder each week. I need to be mature and tenacious enough to get through this. I need better time management.

I had napfa last week. 2.4km run was like the run of my life. Anyway, I think I got a Gold for napfa. And I haven't recovered from the sleepless eventful night, napfa, the carnival and the painting of my room. I'm so tired. I need a break. Sigh, me and all my excuses. I have so much work to do man.

3 BBQs this month! I'm going to get throat cancer this month <----- debbie. Craziness, craziness! All my project's due dates are SOON! Ugh, i'm just here to do some random ranting. :D

Yesterday was crazy. I was running about in a pair of 3-inch high heels and today, I can officially say my feet and legs are totally wasted. My feet hurts so much whenever they touch the flat ground. And it's worse when i'm flat-footed. :( But I had quite an amount of fun. :D

I attended a wedding dinner at pan pacific yesterday with my baby. It was fine dining for me in a while. Haha. The clock struck 12 while I was in the cab back to patrick's house for more 2010 celebrations, with him. It was quite a special moment for me, I felt. As this was the first time I have ever spent or lasted any relationships through the new year. I have quite a good feeling about this. :)

I just found out from FB that a friend whom I used to be quite close to, just broke up with his gf. It's upsetting because the both of them really looked lovely together. Well.. it's funny and contradicting how relationships go.

Yay. Today's the 1st of Jan 2010. 20 more days to GO!!! Woohooooo. I'm going to prepare a new cradle. :D Hahahahahaha. No baby, I only have you in my heart~ *winks. :*

Have you come up with your new year resolutions for 2010? If you have, and it's quite awesome, do let me hear about it! Cause I have yet to come up with mine! :D

Anyway, HAPPY 2010! May this year be one where all your goals and dreams are achieved, and wisdom attained. lalala~ :D

I need a change. I got empowered by this song - agnes, release me.

Sometimes, I tell myself to be contented with my lot. Then somewhere around my superficial self comes telling me that 'you need more'. It just gets so frustrating.

`get a hole and burrow yourself in, charlene.

I'm all crumbled up, been curling up in bed the entire afternoon. I found a new identity a while ago. This raw feeling is quite queer but empowering.

They say,

If you truly love someone, you will be strong for them when you're really falling apart.

That you shouldn't have to prove you love someone.

That it's more of a trust and communication thing.

That love isn't about doing great deeds.

It's about being open, reliable, honest, talking and sharing.

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry for all the insecurities and unreasonable antics and everything. You are everything to me baby. I don't know how am I going to redeem myself this time.

I don't wanna be like this. I needa grow up.