hello bloggie . . . I am very exhausted and dead-beat after training today. Basically, my day today was everything about training. Training began. Ms Teoh arrived and we expected the things as usual. However, today we had quite alot of stamina training compared to the previous trainings. Firstly, I don't know whether to count myself as unlucky or simply lucky. Ms Teoh volunteered to help me do ballwork because we had to do it in pairs. I had a 'ball of a time'. I had to keep up with her and it was very tiring for me. However, I think that keeping up with her standard will be beneficial for me because I am pushed to my limits to a greater level? hahas. Yupp . . . We had several ball games and something happened that left an impression on me. I don't think I should comment on it. I feel that Ms Lim is still very concerned about us and I love her. I mean that she is still our 'mother', of course she is still concerned about us. I am beginning to feel Ms Teoh's concern for me to excel in netball, she wants to push me to my limits and I nearly 'died'. My eyes feel like they are burning right now maybe because I have wore my contact lens for a long period of time. My leg muscles are also beginning to ache a little. Alright . . . got to go . .. See Ya!

I am having a difficult week ahead . . . I have not been in the best of the moods lately hence don't provoke me okie. Hahas, I'm the peace-loving kind . . . heh heh. I am listening to a song right now and as I'm listening to it, I am reminiscing how he used to sing to me over the phone. However, it's now over. I don't know whether I should be glad or upset, I really don't know. I am clueless. It's hurting me now. I thought it was just a simple friendship but it turned out this way. I keep asking myself how it turned out this way. I need someone to hug me right now . . . Mabel's the right choice, she's always giving me hugs. I love her man. -.- III I will get over that idiot. I am determined! I am so sad . . . I really wished that later I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow without a single distraction and thought about him. I wished I could forget this whole incident. However, I think it's going to remain forever in my conscience as long as the river. I am really upset this time. I will stay positive! Sometimes, it's so difficult to stay positive when things are really down the drain. Well . . . I'm only a teenager, there's much more challenges and obstacles out there waiting for me to overcome them. Alright, I have got to go. See Ya!

Today I made a discovery about someone. He wasn't what I had always thought he was, he was a hypocrite in disguise. At least that's how I feel he is right now. I hear gossips about him having 'attitude' problem and . . . Drats it, I never knew he was such a person. Though I know gossips aren't to be trusted, I am beginning to believe them. I have been faced with many problems that are what teenages go through in their growing years. Those are very common. Crap! My muddle-headed dad lost the receipt to redeem my phone at the repair shop tomorrow. Drats! I miss my mobile phone badly man . . .
I have been having problems with my best girl-friend(friend), Mabel. I don't understand why she gives me the cold shoulder on certain occasion when I feel I have done nothing that is much of a concern. Well, maybe that 'nothing much of a concern' is a real concern to her. I feel helpless and clueless when she does that to me. "Do you understand how I feel? Please don't do that to me. I will try to be nicer to you in future, okie?" When Mei Xuan and I gets into this situation, Mei xuan will question me on what is wrong and what I have done to you. I am clueless. Is anything affecting you? Let me know.
Yesterday was the first day I experienced life without Ms Lim around. Today had an impact on me because we had morning run in the morning and I used to watch Ms Lim encouraging the taf students to jog. However, she was no longer there . . . I felt that I have lost a guardian angel but I had to let her go. I can still picture her doing her duties. I lost a very good coach.
As I said, many things have happened and I'm trying to take things step by step. I find things go much easier on me this way. I'm trying breeze through this phase of my life and at the same time, trying to learn something out of it.
Got to go . . . See ya!

dear bloggie . . . I'm so sad today, I didn't know that even speaking can cause my friendship with someone. I known this friend because he was a joker in the class and we went out together once, I find that he was a nice guy. He called me frequently at night and we chatted for long hours. Seriously, I don't know what went wrong. I could say I was jealous because he paid more attention to her. I don't understand it . . . What I have to say is . . . he should not have told me what he had to say over the phone that day. He shouldn't have. I think I'm falling for him. I mean how can this be? He isn't my type of guy, how can this be? I don't understand why I could be falling for him. Why? He touched me with his words, well . . . what I can is that this is the end of our friendship. I find it such a waste, he's the first guy I have ever been close to. It's never going to be the same again. I hope this is not going to affect me though I know it will. Thank god I have just got to know him. It won't hurt so much to forget these little memories. I will forget them. I'm going to stay focused alright. It's so troublesome to be in a relationship and it's commitment. I got a taste of it. -.-III hahas. Bye!

dearrie blog . . . Yesterday was a very memorable day for me. Ms Lim was leaving yesterday. The team baked her cakes and cookies and we ordered pizzas for her farewell party. However, the farewell party was a short one because she left for a photo shoot shortly. After we cleared up the area, we went down and prepared for training. We had circuit training. I was made the leader and we began training as usual. My group was the slowest of all, maybe because I am not suited to become a good leader. I am trying to be a good leader to lead people, however I am always not confident enough.
Yesterday I specially wrote a letter to Ms Lim. Inside, I wrote about how she said I had developed from a eenie-minnie Sec. 1 to this person, me. I can really say that I am much confident in things I do compared to the person I am 2 and a half years back. Well, maybe you will say that people change, furthermore a growing teenager like me. However, without Ms Lim's guidance and the Team's support & encouragement, I might never change that stupid attitude of mine which is that I worry at almost every single little thing and me being very selfish. I also get jealous and impatient easily, I'm sure Ms Lim knows that. I am rather glad that I have changed a little and I'm still trying. I'm also glad that I had made used of this 2 and a half years to learn as many values as I can. I'm sure these things go a long way to help me in the future.
Alright, got to go! Bye!

hello bloggie . . . I did lots housework today. I washed the hamsters' cage and clean my toilet. I have instantly being turned into a maid. Hahas. Basically, I did nothing plentiful today. Nothing fruitful done. Well, the only thing I did that is considered at least the bit exciting was going out for dinner with Amanda and co. Tomorrow I will be heading to the movies with Bai lin and my kor to watch 'The maid'. Hahas. Alright, See Ya!

bloggie . . . I'm so exhausted and tired-out. I went to work today from 10 am till 5 pm. I was rather frustrated when Bernice and I arrived at the carnival at Marina South and we can't seem to find the stall we're supposed to report to. We went round in circles. Untill finally, I realized we missed an area and we went there and managed to found the stall. At first, the stall-keepers seem very strict and stern, I was quite pressurized. However things went smoothly. We began arranging the brochures and sheets together and we began giving them out. It was quite boring to stand around to give brochures out at first, slowly I interacted with the people around after finishing the first 2 hours of work from 10 till 12 noon. It was after my lunch that I felt energised and powered. We had nasi lemak for lunch provided by our boss. While giving out brochures, a black car came and I realized that the DJs, Flying Dutchman and Glenn Ong were in it. Hahas . . . We spent an amount of time slacking too . . . We were approached to have a talk with the insurance company AIA, they wanted my particulars and I gave a fake one. hahas. I had a ball of a time today while working. It was so fun. Hahas . . . Alright, I'm tired . . . going to rest now

hello bloggie . . . I had a social studies test today, it was rather stressful for me. I have not been having fun the past few days, I had lots of programs to atend to. I'm a busy person. Hahas. It seem like I am having tests every single week. I guess I have adapted to it. I have learnt to take things step by step slowly, by doing this, I won't experience so much pressure and stress on myself. Wahahas, I will be having 3 days of holidays because of the National Day celebrations. In fact, I think it amount to 5 days of holidays! It's so nice when it's National Day. I am currently learning to get confident in things I do. I am constantly learning values occasionally. Yesterday I had to attend a so-called briefing at Admiralty primary school. Debbie and I were selected to attend it. We did not have a clue of what we were going to do there untill we arrived there and the teacher-in-charge told us that we were going to be student leaders in charge of the primary school students. We were totally clueless. Thus when she told the both of us that we had to become student leaders instantly, I had to adapt. Anyway, the so-called course was to groom us into student leaders with leading abilities. Hahas. I made two friends who were from serangoon and monfort secondary. Cool. Alright, got to go . . . Switched to 'normal' mode already - char

bloggie . . . it's so boring today . . . As I said, I have not been reading books so I have decided to head to the library later. Yesterday I played with the Cedar juniors and hurt myself. One of them rammed into me and I hurt my knee cap and now it's bruised. Everytime I attend one of this sessions, I tend to injure myself. Anyway, it's minor. Yesterday on my way home from Kallang in the bus, I sat by the window and thoughts kept flowing through my mind. I thought of how the day 12 August would be like. I can picture everyone of us weeping and how the scenario is going to be pathetic. As I said in my previous entry that I have been losing my appetite, it hasn't got any better . I am not in the mood to strengthen my relationship with my kor lately so if he messages me, I have got nothing much to reply him. I'm so pathetic . . . I used up the 18 dollars my dad topped up for me in my sim card in just 2 weeks. Now I will have to top it up by myself. Darn it . . . I think I will suggest to my dad that I should change to a line so that he can save more and myself. This is infuriating man . . . Everytime when I want to make a call, I have to think carefully before I attempt. That's because M1's pre-paid card rates are so high. I dislike it. No offence. Hahas. Alright, got to go.

hello bloggie . . . Today was a fast and furious day, reason speaking because time passed really fast today. I got up this morning feeling . . . you know . . . how everyone feels from the lack of sleep. I had to trim my hair in the late morning, erm . . . my mom's order. Hahas. I went back to sleep after waking up to find nothing on my breakfast table. At around 10 am, my parents came home from the market with my breakfast! After having my breakfast which include just a chocolate waffle. I realized that recently I have been losing my appetite like I'm going to fall sick or something. I'm so sleepy, I am going to take a rest now. Good bye . . .

hello bloggie . . . I had training today . . . We did benches and then some drills and began the court game. I kinda dislike doing benches because it causes my thigh muscles to ache really badly the next morning. Futhermore, I have not been training hard on my thigh muscles hence the benches were tough. I had a really fun time during the court game. When Ms Lim said that it was going to be that last goal, I felt that I really had to treasure that last goal because I enjoyed the game thoroughly. I got the rebound 3 times and the shooter tried score a goal but they failed all 3. I gave them so many chances yet . . . sigh . . . Hahas. Anyway, the last shot was put in by Ms Lim. I'm so beat-out and tired. I want to sleep soon . . . Good night

hello bloggie . . . I finally cease to heave a sigh. I had 2 test today, Geography and Chemistry. I had not talked to mario the past 2 days because I was mad at him. Today after school, I headed to compass point to get some important stuff that Siew hong and the team wanted. I went there with Amanda, Jasmine, Amelia and er . . . Wendy. Erm, I have to brush up on my english vocabulary, haven't been able to squeeze in time to read a book. My english standard have deproved. Sigh . . . My close friends keep tell me to keep my distance away from him yet my inner-self is trying to ignore the advice. Why am I so incapable when there's a time to be strong? Life is such a strenuous process. Imagine ourselves trying so hard to counter every obstacles that come in our way yet we die at the end of the road. I'm trying to be positive here and yet trying to act negative. It's tough. I'm so tired and beat. Perhaps because I'm so tired, that's why I'm so negative. Yep . . . Going off . . . Bye!

bloggie . . . I have finally cleared those stupid confusion between Mario and me. It has been bothering me for the past few days or even weeks. I don't want to describe what happened between him and me. I told him to leave me alone and I will leave him alone too . . . He's so indecisive. Anyway, I have a feeling he is using me as a substitute for Geraldine after he had broken up with her. I hate such guys. Furthermore, he has got a bad character and I find that I cannot really communicate with him. I am a totally opposite side of him. We won't get along. I won't bother you and you don't bother me okie! It's so hard to reject him because I have umpteem crushes on him. LEAVE ME ALONE ALRIGHT?! I will find a better guy than you. Definitely much better than you! Sorry if I was too raged up. I can't stand nonsensical problems.

hello bloggie . . . I spent a heck of a time just now trying to organize my files properly. I have learnt my lesson and I'm going to take all my files to school to pit it under my desk. It's much easier for me to upload any worksheet that is given to me. Instead of searching high and low for every single piece of worksheet. I was quite fed up with Mario just now when he replied to my message. I feel that he is one kind of a guy who does not put much pride for a girl. I am still confused about my feelings and I feel like ignoring it. Who cares? I'm not focusing on relationships but my studies. I enjoy being who I am in school not being liked or not for who I am. Heh heh. Quote: Do not care how others view you no matter how badly, you prove to them who you really are. Your muscles might be tired but not your mind. You control your mind and yourself! Don't take the easy way out everytime as you don't know what you can explore and learn when you take up a new challenge.
I do not have much tests next week except geog. I need to revise for my chemistry later, need to understand the topic metals. Mrs Gan has been rushing us to hand up our TYS and pushing us to revise so I had better do it. Alright, I have to go now. See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . i'm so confused . . . Mario just smsed me earlier on and told me that he was going to break up with his girlfriend. I hope I'm not the cause of their breakup. I have a geog test next week, I had better begin studying today, i don't want to have a tough week ahead. I'm having a bad headache now . . . I chatted with Mario till 11 pm, I woke up at 9 plus this morning feeling legarthic. Alright, there's nothing much to write about anyway. I will update you later in the night. ciao

hello bloggie . . . I just did my crunches and sit-ups again after 2 weeks. I'm so lazy nowadays. I need to get more disciplined. Things aren't going to get any better once Ms Lim has left us. I'm so going to miss her . . . and her yellings. I need more self-control and self-discipline! I went to compass point earlier on to get Chew Ling a birthday present. I was set on getting her that particular present. Anyway, I felt that it was a nice present and I also spent a bomb on it. If you want to know what I bought for her, go and ask her on monday. Alright, i've got to go now. see ya!

hello bloggie . . . I didn't had a pleasant night hence i'm still feeling lethargic now. Yesterday I chatted with Mario again. There was many quiet moments in between and I mean many. Hahas. Anyway, I just went with the flow of chatting. He played his guitar several times and it was nice. I am in shit man . . . My mom knows about me calling Mario though he does call me too. Anyway, I have a feeling this will not work out between me and him. Reason speaking, because he's so shy in school and it's almost like we have nothing much to chat about. Hahas. Yesterday night over the phone, I told Mario that I was pretty close to Bai lin in my class and I took a pic. with him and Mario sounded jealous or taken aback? hahas. By the way, it's Chew Ling's birthday today! Happy Birthday Chew Ling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay Cute always! hahas. Alright, See Ya!

bloggie . . . the past week has been very hectic for me. I finally get to relax and play to my heart's content today at the 'I love punggol' carnival. Let me briefly describe the happenings today.
Well . . . I had an A maths test after recess. After that, I was looking forward to a whole lot of fun in the afternoon. The bell went off. Mabel and I rushed down to the canteen. Large crowds were gathering there. Hahas. I met Chew Ling while window-looking at the stuff that they were selling. I met Bai lin and Ming feng near the girls' toilet. Ming feng asked me whether i wanted to take neo-print with anyone. I did not know how did they decided but in the end, Bai Lin wanted to take a picture with me. Hahas, he was shy so he asked Brendon to get in the picture too. The picture came out fine. Bai lin thought he looked ugly. Hahas. Mabel went round with her 'Cannon' digitla camera and took many pictures. I asked her to take one of Mario. Then Mario came to tell me that he dedicated one song that was currently on playing. He talked to me! -.- Hahas. Anyone, I went to the place outside the hall where the glass doors are, and I played volleyball with Amanda and co. So fun! heh heh . . . Overall, I had a super fun day at school today.

bloggie . . . many things have happened lately, and I'm really upset that these things would happen to me. Ms Lim will not be teaching in the school from 12 August onwards. She broke the news to us yesterday during training. At first, Amanda began crying and when everyone heard her woes, we cried too. I hadn't drop much tears during training. However, after intensive study the night before and I decided to turn in, I stared into the ceiling and began wondering and pondering how life would be like without Ms Lim watching over me. Tears began streaming down my face and I tried to stop it but my emotions were taking over. My heart seem like it was shedding because I was about to lose a loved one(in a sense). I began recalling what Ms Lim had done for me in the past 2 years. There was too much and too precious to recall. She taught me so many values in life that it has changed my life 180 degrees round. It helped me to want to excel in things I do. I feel like weeping right now at this moment as I'm writing out my thoughts and feelings. She was the first female teacher and coach whom has treated me with love and scoldings. It's so difficult to type out my feelings right now . . . I feel the hurt as every single of these words get typed out. I don't want to recall anymore . . . sorry. This is dedicated to Ms Lim :
Ms Lim, I just want to let you know that you're the one and only teacher and 'mother' whom I will ever respect foremost. I love you and the team so much.
Alright, I will change the subject . . . I am very confused about an issue in my life. I don't know what to do . . . I'm sandwiched in between 2 person right now. One whom have not decided what to do. I do not want to get involved in their relationship though I don't really know what's going on. I have enough problems trying to deal with the fact that Ms Lim is leaving and I'm trying to accept the fact so just leave me alone.

Felt so loved & doted by you

Many values taken away from you

Now that you're leaving

It seem like a place in my heart

is empty . . .

Thinking of it

Tears stream down endlessly

If I could change the fact

I would atmost do it

However it is impossible . . .

I feel so helpless

I'm trying hard to resist the hurt

and beautiful memories . . .

Take Care &

I hope you will succeed in pursuing your dreams[ Ms Lim ]

hello bloggie . . . I had a scary experience yesterday at the Speech Day. The VIPs came into the AVA room to look at our stuffs. They came to my booth and my team-mates were all scared. I had to force myself to calm down and speak. I began explaining when the principal requested for me to speak chinese instead. I couldn't speak chinese and everyone knows that I speak Chinese with an English-ascent. I didn't want to risk embarrassing myself however I guessed I already did that. Anyway, before that when I just arrived at school in my Dad's car, I saw Mario walking to school with Melvin coincidentally. I saw Siti Erna in front of him and so, I waved to her. Hahas, Mario thought I was waving to him and he was so happy. Heh heh . . . Anyway, if he likes to think that way, then so be it because it makes him happy.
I spoke to him on the phone yesterday night and it was pretty scary and nervous for me. There were many pauses in between because we did not know what to chat about. it's difficult to get a conversation going especially when you're on the phone. We chatted about everything in the world . . . hahas. I found his Mom rather strict with him because the moment I called in and asked for him, she asked me who I was. I had a feeling she was spying while we were chatting on the phone too. After about an hour of chatting with him, I realized that he was a pretty easy-going guy.
I'm trying to keep our relationship as 'kor' & 'mei' . . . I have a goal in mind and I have to achieve that. I have to remain focus. Alright, See Ya!