I am rather pissed off lately. Things aren't going right for me. Firstly, I was humiliated by a junior at the netball camp the day before. Right. I have lost all my self confidence and esteem. I had even lost myself. Pretence overwhelmed me as I played the one and determining game of the day. People were saying that I had been doing nonsense defending and such. What the heck man. Do you people know what I had gone through? No, you don't. Yes. I am a wimp. I can not even face it up to myself. I hate this. I hate life.
Today, my dad told me something that woke me up from reality. Well. I should not be mentioning those words here as they are provacative. Ever since the beginning of the battle towards the o's until now, everything and anything has changed. I can't accept the change. And now, things are getting harder and harder each day even though the books are aside.
My parents keep hinting me and asking me to look for a job. And I am desperate for one too. Yes. I am. I can't stand staying at home for the entire month of december! I wished I could have done somthing constructive since the o level exams. Darn it. I thought life was blissful and simply when I got the job at a restaurant but things were not as simple as it seemed. A beep from my phone this morning and it's *poof, gone flying. I hate all this. Where have my determined self gone to? Well. I want to persevere but something is bringing me down! This sucked. I will learn something new this december, I swear.