hello! I'm so bored right now. Right. I went to settle my project at Terence's house in Punggol this morning. I had to wake up twice. Sigh! I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that I was going to seat for my exams the next day and I was fully unprepared. I woke up rather stressed up because my exams are just three more weeks away which is not a long time for me to spend, frankly speaking. I am very tensed up today. By the way, I had a ball of a time at terence's place. We did our project there and I got to play his Xbox and it was so fun! That stupid Debbie, she kept beating me at the games. Basically, nothing much have happened to me today. Well . . . maybe later might be a little exciting for me because I will be heading out with my Mom to the hair salon! Maybe I will get a good massage and get some relaxation! wahahas. Good Bye.

hello blog . . . I went to sentosa today. At first when I woke up in the morning, the skies was not very desirable. Hence, it dampened my spirits, I did not really feel like going already. However due to Mei Xuan's persistent will to go Sentosa to get a good tan, we headed there. For your info, we went there in threes, Chew Ling; Mei Xuan and myself. I thought that it was rather lame and boring for three person to head to sentosa with nothing much in mind. Anyway, we went ahead with it. On our way to Sentosa, Mei Xuan thought that it was a good idea to call Irene along. Irene was rather hesitant to go but anyway she came. Soon, Cassandra got pulled in too, she agreed to meet us at sentosa because she had a volleyball with her. We arrived at Palawan Beach. The sun was not really bright and strong thus during that period of time we borrowed someone's volleyball to have some fun. Soon Mei Xuan and I went running into the waters and both of us decided to swim to the floats provided for us which was quite a distance from the shore. We began swimming and soon I couldn't feel my feet. I began to panic and we swum back to shore. Our first and second attempts were useless. Irene arrived and she took Mei Xuan with her and they swam with the help of the balls connected to the floats. Shortly after, I followed on with Chew Ling and Cassandra. For your info, the balls connectors were gross! There were algaes growing on it and I had no choice but to grab hold of it tightly for the sake of my dear life! It was because I nearly drown in my second attempt earlier on. Those two idiot Mei Xuan and Chew Ling told me that they wanted to swim to the floats. I began swimming towards the float and halfway, both of them began screaming that they were afraid and wanted to head back. I turned back and this time, I felt a sudden surge of fear and panicky in me. I wanted to head back hurrily. Then I swam to the ball connectors where Mei Xuan and Chew Ling were. I grabbed it but I thought that I was still sinking. This time, I became short of breath and I started gasping for air. I went under the water and came up again exhausted. The waters were damn deep! Hahas. I pushed Mei Xuan down for support. Then I slowly make my way back to shore. This was the nightmare of my life man . . . I'm super afraid of the waters now. Anyway, with the arrival of Irene and Cassandra, the atmosphere was enlightened. Unknowingly the sun came out and we began sun tanning like nuts. I took some pictures of Irene and MeiXuan together with myself in my mobile phone. We had a hell lot of a time man. I love being with Irene and Mei Xuan now. By the way, we also had a ball of a time spraying . . . ssshh . . . sun tanning oil. I am supposed to put sunscreen instead of sun tanning lotion, my dad's order. They kept pestering me to allow them some spray on their arms. My 'banana boat' sun tanning lotion ar . . . so expensive man. Nevermind, I had a ball of a time with them so I won't regret it. By the way, I got real tanned. My arms are super red now and I like it! hahas. I'm nuts. Alright, since I have enjoyed myself already, I have to focus on my studies right now. I am going to study Chemistry and Physics tomorrow. No disruptions please! Good Night sweetie bloggie, for allowing me a listening ear.

bloggie . . . Today i had my PESS carnival. There were quite a number of strong schools there. We won 2 out of 5 matches. We lost to Westwood, Katong Convent and Tanglin. I feel that our team could beat katong convent however due to minor mistakes and being not steady*, we lost to them. I also feel that the scores are rather close in these three games. Well, I did not get to play in this carnival as much times as in the previous one last year. Ms Teoh made Elly the Goal-Keeper in most games. I can understand that because Elly needs to gain more exposure in order to become stronger in the mind(in a sense). I used to be very, and I mean very nervous in the previous games I played last year. However, I feel a sense of steadiness in the games I played today. I am more determined and focused in the things I want to do in the court. Example, I wanted to intercept a lope from a tall shooter, though I did not do it successfully, I actually perform the drill that I was taught in the court on the shooter! I know what I want in the court now.
I am a little disappointed we did not make it to round 2. A feeling of giving up lingers in my mind. It's so difficult to win a match victoriously. I really want our team to win victoriously and bring glory to our coach. I hope that we can fight very hard for the tournament next year because it's my last year. So juniors, do your senior here a favour, work super hard for our tournament and senior here will work hard together with you all too. I don't want to leave my secondary school without any achievements that I can remember for life beautifully. I think I am going to become a sports teacher because I found out that I love netball and sports alot. It's going to become my passion . . .

bloggie . . . it will be my carnival tomorrow. I hope that I can gain strength and courage from this special someone so that I can put my best foot forward. It's been quite a few months before I took part in such a carnival. Last night you can say I had a hard time sleeping because I was suffering from a slight headache due to being soaked in the rain for long hours. My mind is half-awake right now. I better get enough rest today in preparation for tomorrow's match. I have Ms Teoh's 'wisdom' words in my mind from yesterday's training till now. Bring my brains into the court. I am thinking of how to counter a tall-shooter when she gets a lope. Though I learnt it yesterday, it still takes lots of courage; great timing and determination to get out there and actually perform it. I have to be confident of my abilities. I must tell myself that I am capable of doing whatever I want as long as I set my mind on it!!! Phew . . . Breathe in and out . . Alright . . . See Us stomp you on the court tomorrow!

hi bloggie, I spent my day yesterday practising A maths functions with Irene and Mei Xuan. I took the test today and I basically have no comments about it. Well, I had netball training in the afternoon. It was pouring and some pupils were taking their prelims thus we had the least choice to select where we could train. It was until Ms Teoh arrived and I was like(depicted) the flower finally seeing my sunlight. hahas. I don't know it's whether I'm too sensitive or whatever, I feel that Ms Teoh is picking on me. I hope that I don't feel this way for long.
I got my results today. I fared relatively alright to me. I aim and want to score better at my final examinations. I always expect higher expectations of myself no matter how good I am. I am a perfectionist. However as I have said, I am not perfect in any way. I am sleepy, going to take a nap. I will focus on Sunday's carnival!!!

hi bloggie, I spent my day yesterday practising A maths functions with Irene and Mei Xuan. I took the test today and I basically have no comments about it. Well, I had netball training in the afternoon. It was pouring and some pupils were taking their prelims thus we had the least choice to select where we could train. It was until Ms Teoh arrived and I was like(depicted) the flower finally seeing my sunlight. hahas. I don't know it's whether I'm too sensitive or whatever, I feel that Ms Teoh is picking on me. I hope that I don't feel this way for long.
I got my results today. I fared relatively alright to me. I aim and want to score better at my final examinations. I always expect higher expectations of myself no matter how good I am. I am a perfectionist. However as I have said, I am not perfect in any way. I am sleepy, going to take a nap. I will focus on Sunday's carnival!!!

hello bloggie . . . I am sorry people, I have not updated you. I have not been very at leisure lately. It has been rather stressful for me recently. I will be having a carnival this sunday and we will be competing with well-known schools. I don't want to say that they're good because no matter how good they are, we will still play against them, intercept their balls and score goals. I know we will do that because I'm sicked of losing out. You may think I am crapping but these are my heartfelt words. I will do my best at the carnival but it depends on whether I will be given the chance. However, this is a team game. If I'm the only one thinking like that, it's of no point. I need to get the team to think this way.
I am afraid that I will be affected by some obstacles in my way. Sometimes, I wonder why teenagers can be so dumb . . . It's like I just found out that one of my friend whom is a him, he lost his virginity. Well, life's just that, if you don't treasure it, you will only live to regret it. That said, maybe I should not make that comment because only the people who have gone through it and regretted it have that authority to say that it's a dumb thing to do.
Yesterday night, I sat in my room on the floor and listened to an mp3 player. As the music went through my head, thoughts began flowing. I wondered what I wanted in life once again. This time, I thought hard and I decided that I would join the next Punggol Superstar if there was one. I began singing my heart out because of what life was. After singing for half an hour, I thought that I was tired and maybe singing was not my passion? People looked and thought hard before they found the passion of their life. My dad found his. I have not. Though I do find some passion in netball.
Alright, i got to go .. . Take care people.

hello bloggie . . . I am very exhausted and dead-beat after training today. Basically, my day today was everything about training. Training began. Ms Teoh arrived and we expected the things as usual. However, today we had quite alot of stamina training compared to the previous trainings. Firstly, I don't know whether to count myself as unlucky or simply lucky. Ms Teoh volunteered to help me do ballwork because we had to do it in pairs. I had a 'ball of a time'. I had to keep up with her and it was very tiring for me. However, I think that keeping up with her standard will be beneficial for me because I am pushed to my limits to a greater level? hahas. Yupp . . . We had several ball games and something happened that left an impression on me. I don't think I should comment on it. I feel that Ms Lim is still very concerned about us and I love her. I mean that she is still our 'mother', of course she is still concerned about us. I am beginning to feel Ms Teoh's concern for me to excel in netball, she wants to push me to my limits and I nearly 'died'. My eyes feel like they are burning right now maybe because I have wore my contact lens for a long period of time. My leg muscles are also beginning to ache a little. Alright . . . got to go . .. See Ya!

I am having a difficult week ahead . . . I have not been in the best of the moods lately hence don't provoke me okie. Hahas, I'm the peace-loving kind . . . heh heh. I am listening to a song right now and as I'm listening to it, I am reminiscing how he used to sing to me over the phone. However, it's now over. I don't know whether I should be glad or upset, I really don't know. I am clueless. It's hurting me now. I thought it was just a simple friendship but it turned out this way. I keep asking myself how it turned out this way. I need someone to hug me right now . . . Mabel's the right choice, she's always giving me hugs. I love her man. -.- III I will get over that idiot. I am determined! I am so sad . . . I really wished that later I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow without a single distraction and thought about him. I wished I could forget this whole incident. However, I think it's going to remain forever in my conscience as long as the river. I am really upset this time. I will stay positive! Sometimes, it's so difficult to stay positive when things are really down the drain. Well . . . I'm only a teenager, there's much more challenges and obstacles out there waiting for me to overcome them. Alright, I have got to go. See Ya!

Today I made a discovery about someone. He wasn't what I had always thought he was, he was a hypocrite in disguise. At least that's how I feel he is right now. I hear gossips about him having 'attitude' problem and . . . Drats it, I never knew he was such a person. Though I know gossips aren't to be trusted, I am beginning to believe them. I have been faced with many problems that are what teenages go through in their growing years. Those are very common. Crap! My muddle-headed dad lost the receipt to redeem my phone at the repair shop tomorrow. Drats! I miss my mobile phone badly man . . .
I have been having problems with my best girl-friend(friend), Mabel. I don't understand why she gives me the cold shoulder on certain occasion when I feel I have done nothing that is much of a concern. Well, maybe that 'nothing much of a concern' is a real concern to her. I feel helpless and clueless when she does that to me. "Do you understand how I feel? Please don't do that to me. I will try to be nicer to you in future, okie?" When Mei Xuan and I gets into this situation, Mei xuan will question me on what is wrong and what I have done to you. I am clueless. Is anything affecting you? Let me know.
Yesterday was the first day I experienced life without Ms Lim around. Today had an impact on me because we had morning run in the morning and I used to watch Ms Lim encouraging the taf students to jog. However, she was no longer there . . . I felt that I have lost a guardian angel but I had to let her go. I can still picture her doing her duties. I lost a very good coach.
As I said, many things have happened and I'm trying to take things step by step. I find things go much easier on me this way. I'm trying breeze through this phase of my life and at the same time, trying to learn something out of it.
Got to go . . . See ya!

dear bloggie . . . I'm so sad today, I didn't know that even speaking can cause my friendship with someone. I known this friend because he was a joker in the class and we went out together once, I find that he was a nice guy. He called me frequently at night and we chatted for long hours. Seriously, I don't know what went wrong. I could say I was jealous because he paid more attention to her. I don't understand it . . . What I have to say is . . . he should not have told me what he had to say over the phone that day. He shouldn't have. I think I'm falling for him. I mean how can this be? He isn't my type of guy, how can this be? I don't understand why I could be falling for him. Why? He touched me with his words, well . . . what I can is that this is the end of our friendship. I find it such a waste, he's the first guy I have ever been close to. It's never going to be the same again. I hope this is not going to affect me though I know it will. Thank god I have just got to know him. It won't hurt so much to forget these little memories. I will forget them. I'm going to stay focused alright. It's so troublesome to be in a relationship and it's commitment. I got a taste of it. -.-III hahas. Bye!

dearrie blog . . . Yesterday was a very memorable day for me. Ms Lim was leaving yesterday. The team baked her cakes and cookies and we ordered pizzas for her farewell party. However, the farewell party was a short one because she left for a photo shoot shortly. After we cleared up the area, we went down and prepared for training. We had circuit training. I was made the leader and we began training as usual. My group was the slowest of all, maybe because I am not suited to become a good leader. I am trying to be a good leader to lead people, however I am always not confident enough.
Yesterday I specially wrote a letter to Ms Lim. Inside, I wrote about how she said I had developed from a eenie-minnie Sec. 1 to this person, me. I can really say that I am much confident in things I do compared to the person I am 2 and a half years back. Well, maybe you will say that people change, furthermore a growing teenager like me. However, without Ms Lim's guidance and the Team's support & encouragement, I might never change that stupid attitude of mine which is that I worry at almost every single little thing and me being very selfish. I also get jealous and impatient easily, I'm sure Ms Lim knows that. I am rather glad that I have changed a little and I'm still trying. I'm also glad that I had made used of this 2 and a half years to learn as many values as I can. I'm sure these things go a long way to help me in the future.
Alright, got to go! Bye!

hello bloggie . . . I did lots housework today. I washed the hamsters' cage and clean my toilet. I have instantly being turned into a maid. Hahas. Basically, I did nothing plentiful today. Nothing fruitful done. Well, the only thing I did that is considered at least the bit exciting was going out for dinner with Amanda and co. Tomorrow I will be heading to the movies with Bai lin and my kor to watch 'The maid'. Hahas. Alright, See Ya!

bloggie . . . I'm so exhausted and tired-out. I went to work today from 10 am till 5 pm. I was rather frustrated when Bernice and I arrived at the carnival at Marina South and we can't seem to find the stall we're supposed to report to. We went round in circles. Untill finally, I realized we missed an area and we went there and managed to found the stall. At first, the stall-keepers seem very strict and stern, I was quite pressurized. However things went smoothly. We began arranging the brochures and sheets together and we began giving them out. It was quite boring to stand around to give brochures out at first, slowly I interacted with the people around after finishing the first 2 hours of work from 10 till 12 noon. It was after my lunch that I felt energised and powered. We had nasi lemak for lunch provided by our boss. While giving out brochures, a black car came and I realized that the DJs, Flying Dutchman and Glenn Ong were in it. Hahas . . . We spent an amount of time slacking too . . . We were approached to have a talk with the insurance company AIA, they wanted my particulars and I gave a fake one. hahas. I had a ball of a time today while working. It was so fun. Hahas . . . Alright, I'm tired . . . going to rest now

hello bloggie . . . I had a social studies test today, it was rather stressful for me. I have not been having fun the past few days, I had lots of programs to atend to. I'm a busy person. Hahas. It seem like I am having tests every single week. I guess I have adapted to it. I have learnt to take things step by step slowly, by doing this, I won't experience so much pressure and stress on myself. Wahahas, I will be having 3 days of holidays because of the National Day celebrations. In fact, I think it amount to 5 days of holidays! It's so nice when it's National Day. I am currently learning to get confident in things I do. I am constantly learning values occasionally. Yesterday I had to attend a so-called briefing at Admiralty primary school. Debbie and I were selected to attend it. We did not have a clue of what we were going to do there untill we arrived there and the teacher-in-charge told us that we were going to be student leaders in charge of the primary school students. We were totally clueless. Thus when she told the both of us that we had to become student leaders instantly, I had to adapt. Anyway, the so-called course was to groom us into student leaders with leading abilities. Hahas. I made two friends who were from serangoon and monfort secondary. Cool. Alright, got to go . . . Switched to 'normal' mode already - char

bloggie . . . it's so boring today . . . As I said, I have not been reading books so I have decided to head to the library later. Yesterday I played with the Cedar juniors and hurt myself. One of them rammed into me and I hurt my knee cap and now it's bruised. Everytime I attend one of this sessions, I tend to injure myself. Anyway, it's minor. Yesterday on my way home from Kallang in the bus, I sat by the window and thoughts kept flowing through my mind. I thought of how the day 12 August would be like. I can picture everyone of us weeping and how the scenario is going to be pathetic. As I said in my previous entry that I have been losing my appetite, it hasn't got any better . I am not in the mood to strengthen my relationship with my kor lately so if he messages me, I have got nothing much to reply him. I'm so pathetic . . . I used up the 18 dollars my dad topped up for me in my sim card in just 2 weeks. Now I will have to top it up by myself. Darn it . . . I think I will suggest to my dad that I should change to a line so that he can save more and myself. This is infuriating man . . . Everytime when I want to make a call, I have to think carefully before I attempt. That's because M1's pre-paid card rates are so high. I dislike it. No offence. Hahas. Alright, got to go.

hello bloggie . . . Today was a fast and furious day, reason speaking because time passed really fast today. I got up this morning feeling . . . you know . . . how everyone feels from the lack of sleep. I had to trim my hair in the late morning, erm . . . my mom's order. Hahas. I went back to sleep after waking up to find nothing on my breakfast table. At around 10 am, my parents came home from the market with my breakfast! After having my breakfast which include just a chocolate waffle. I realized that recently I have been losing my appetite like I'm going to fall sick or something. I'm so sleepy, I am going to take a rest now. Good bye . . .

hello bloggie . . . I had training today . . . We did benches and then some drills and began the court game. I kinda dislike doing benches because it causes my thigh muscles to ache really badly the next morning. Futhermore, I have not been training hard on my thigh muscles hence the benches were tough. I had a really fun time during the court game. When Ms Lim said that it was going to be that last goal, I felt that I really had to treasure that last goal because I enjoyed the game thoroughly. I got the rebound 3 times and the shooter tried score a goal but they failed all 3. I gave them so many chances yet . . . sigh . . . Hahas. Anyway, the last shot was put in by Ms Lim. I'm so beat-out and tired. I want to sleep soon . . . Good night

hello bloggie . . . I finally cease to heave a sigh. I had 2 test today, Geography and Chemistry. I had not talked to mario the past 2 days because I was mad at him. Today after school, I headed to compass point to get some important stuff that Siew hong and the team wanted. I went there with Amanda, Jasmine, Amelia and er . . . Wendy. Erm, I have to brush up on my english vocabulary, haven't been able to squeeze in time to read a book. My english standard have deproved. Sigh . . . My close friends keep tell me to keep my distance away from him yet my inner-self is trying to ignore the advice. Why am I so incapable when there's a time to be strong? Life is such a strenuous process. Imagine ourselves trying so hard to counter every obstacles that come in our way yet we die at the end of the road. I'm trying to be positive here and yet trying to act negative. It's tough. I'm so tired and beat. Perhaps because I'm so tired, that's why I'm so negative. Yep . . . Going off . . . Bye!

bloggie . . . I have finally cleared those stupid confusion between Mario and me. It has been bothering me for the past few days or even weeks. I don't want to describe what happened between him and me. I told him to leave me alone and I will leave him alone too . . . He's so indecisive. Anyway, I have a feeling he is using me as a substitute for Geraldine after he had broken up with her. I hate such guys. Furthermore, he has got a bad character and I find that I cannot really communicate with him. I am a totally opposite side of him. We won't get along. I won't bother you and you don't bother me okie! It's so hard to reject him because I have umpteem crushes on him. LEAVE ME ALONE ALRIGHT?! I will find a better guy than you. Definitely much better than you! Sorry if I was too raged up. I can't stand nonsensical problems.

hello bloggie . . . I spent a heck of a time just now trying to organize my files properly. I have learnt my lesson and I'm going to take all my files to school to pit it under my desk. It's much easier for me to upload any worksheet that is given to me. Instead of searching high and low for every single piece of worksheet. I was quite fed up with Mario just now when he replied to my message. I feel that he is one kind of a guy who does not put much pride for a girl. I am still confused about my feelings and I feel like ignoring it. Who cares? I'm not focusing on relationships but my studies. I enjoy being who I am in school not being liked or not for who I am. Heh heh. Quote: Do not care how others view you no matter how badly, you prove to them who you really are. Your muscles might be tired but not your mind. You control your mind and yourself! Don't take the easy way out everytime as you don't know what you can explore and learn when you take up a new challenge.
I do not have much tests next week except geog. I need to revise for my chemistry later, need to understand the topic metals. Mrs Gan has been rushing us to hand up our TYS and pushing us to revise so I had better do it. Alright, I have to go now. See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . i'm so confused . . . Mario just smsed me earlier on and told me that he was going to break up with his girlfriend. I hope I'm not the cause of their breakup. I have a geog test next week, I had better begin studying today, i don't want to have a tough week ahead. I'm having a bad headache now . . . I chatted with Mario till 11 pm, I woke up at 9 plus this morning feeling legarthic. Alright, there's nothing much to write about anyway. I will update you later in the night. ciao

hello bloggie . . . I just did my crunches and sit-ups again after 2 weeks. I'm so lazy nowadays. I need to get more disciplined. Things aren't going to get any better once Ms Lim has left us. I'm so going to miss her . . . and her yellings. I need more self-control and self-discipline! I went to compass point earlier on to get Chew Ling a birthday present. I was set on getting her that particular present. Anyway, I felt that it was a nice present and I also spent a bomb on it. If you want to know what I bought for her, go and ask her on monday. Alright, i've got to go now. see ya!

hello bloggie . . . I didn't had a pleasant night hence i'm still feeling lethargic now. Yesterday I chatted with Mario again. There was many quiet moments in between and I mean many. Hahas. Anyway, I just went with the flow of chatting. He played his guitar several times and it was nice. I am in shit man . . . My mom knows about me calling Mario though he does call me too. Anyway, I have a feeling this will not work out between me and him. Reason speaking, because he's so shy in school and it's almost like we have nothing much to chat about. Hahas. Yesterday night over the phone, I told Mario that I was pretty close to Bai lin in my class and I took a pic. with him and Mario sounded jealous or taken aback? hahas. By the way, it's Chew Ling's birthday today! Happy Birthday Chew Ling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay Cute always! hahas. Alright, See Ya!

bloggie . . . the past week has been very hectic for me. I finally get to relax and play to my heart's content today at the 'I love punggol' carnival. Let me briefly describe the happenings today.
Well . . . I had an A maths test after recess. After that, I was looking forward to a whole lot of fun in the afternoon. The bell went off. Mabel and I rushed down to the canteen. Large crowds were gathering there. Hahas. I met Chew Ling while window-looking at the stuff that they were selling. I met Bai lin and Ming feng near the girls' toilet. Ming feng asked me whether i wanted to take neo-print with anyone. I did not know how did they decided but in the end, Bai Lin wanted to take a picture with me. Hahas, he was shy so he asked Brendon to get in the picture too. The picture came out fine. Bai lin thought he looked ugly. Hahas. Mabel went round with her 'Cannon' digitla camera and took many pictures. I asked her to take one of Mario. Then Mario came to tell me that he dedicated one song that was currently on playing. He talked to me! -.- Hahas. Anyone, I went to the place outside the hall where the glass doors are, and I played volleyball with Amanda and co. So fun! heh heh . . . Overall, I had a super fun day at school today.

bloggie . . . many things have happened lately, and I'm really upset that these things would happen to me. Ms Lim will not be teaching in the school from 12 August onwards. She broke the news to us yesterday during training. At first, Amanda began crying and when everyone heard her woes, we cried too. I hadn't drop much tears during training. However, after intensive study the night before and I decided to turn in, I stared into the ceiling and began wondering and pondering how life would be like without Ms Lim watching over me. Tears began streaming down my face and I tried to stop it but my emotions were taking over. My heart seem like it was shedding because I was about to lose a loved one(in a sense). I began recalling what Ms Lim had done for me in the past 2 years. There was too much and too precious to recall. She taught me so many values in life that it has changed my life 180 degrees round. It helped me to want to excel in things I do. I feel like weeping right now at this moment as I'm writing out my thoughts and feelings. She was the first female teacher and coach whom has treated me with love and scoldings. It's so difficult to type out my feelings right now . . . I feel the hurt as every single of these words get typed out. I don't want to recall anymore . . . sorry. This is dedicated to Ms Lim :
Ms Lim, I just want to let you know that you're the one and only teacher and 'mother' whom I will ever respect foremost. I love you and the team so much.
Alright, I will change the subject . . . I am very confused about an issue in my life. I don't know what to do . . . I'm sandwiched in between 2 person right now. One whom have not decided what to do. I do not want to get involved in their relationship though I don't really know what's going on. I have enough problems trying to deal with the fact that Ms Lim is leaving and I'm trying to accept the fact so just leave me alone.

Felt so loved & doted by you

Many values taken away from you

Now that you're leaving

It seem like a place in my heart

is empty . . .

Thinking of it

Tears stream down endlessly

If I could change the fact

I would atmost do it

However it is impossible . . .

I feel so helpless

I'm trying hard to resist the hurt

and beautiful memories . . .

Take Care &

I hope you will succeed in pursuing your dreams[ Ms Lim ]

hello bloggie . . . I had a scary experience yesterday at the Speech Day. The VIPs came into the AVA room to look at our stuffs. They came to my booth and my team-mates were all scared. I had to force myself to calm down and speak. I began explaining when the principal requested for me to speak chinese instead. I couldn't speak chinese and everyone knows that I speak Chinese with an English-ascent. I didn't want to risk embarrassing myself however I guessed I already did that. Anyway, before that when I just arrived at school in my Dad's car, I saw Mario walking to school with Melvin coincidentally. I saw Siti Erna in front of him and so, I waved to her. Hahas, Mario thought I was waving to him and he was so happy. Heh heh . . . Anyway, if he likes to think that way, then so be it because it makes him happy.
I spoke to him on the phone yesterday night and it was pretty scary and nervous for me. There were many pauses in between because we did not know what to chat about. it's difficult to get a conversation going especially when you're on the phone. We chatted about everything in the world . . . hahas. I found his Mom rather strict with him because the moment I called in and asked for him, she asked me who I was. I had a feeling she was spying while we were chatting on the phone too. After about an hour of chatting with him, I realized that he was a pretty easy-going guy.
I'm trying to keep our relationship as 'kor' & 'mei' . . . I have a goal in mind and I have to achieve that. I have to remain focus. Alright, See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . I didn't update my blog yesterday due to because I had to practise and revise for my A maths test. Yeah! Tomorrow is going to be so exciting because it's Speech Day! I wished I could watch the concert tomorrow but I will be stucked in the AVA room. I'm going about to describe what had happened to me today . . .
Well . . . Basically, School was moderate today as usual. Except that the fact that I had to do an Advertisement Presentation without Mabel! Anyway, I felt that everything went smoothly, I spoke clearly and loudly. Yupp . . . After school, I went to compass with Amanda & co for lunch at KFC. Once again, I enjoyed my time with them. Hahas.
Something surprising happened today. Mario came online coincidentally and I chatted with him. It's quite difficult to chat with him because he is almost speechless all the time but i'm trying because he's my 'kor'. Alright, See Ya! I'm looking forward to an exciting day tomorrow.

bloggie . . . I was so drained today. I was slazing around at school. So tired . . . I have so many upcoming tests, quite used to the frequent tests though. I am trying to think up a poem as I realized that poems could be made into songs. It's so going to be exciting this Saturday because it's Speech Day and I will be stucked in the AVA room attending to the laptop and programs there. Furthermore, Amanda and grp would be there too. However, I am wondering how should I attend to the VIP when he/she approaches my stall. Hahas. I wished the next 2 days could pass by quickly because it has been a hectic week. And I know I would be facing a much tougher week ahead because of the upcoming tests. I keep telling myself to take this slowly step by step . . . because everything seems to be passing swiftly in a blink of the eye. I am like so helpless to time. I need better time management and I need to sort things out. Alright, there is nothing much to update today. See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . today I had training. It was sort-of a stamina training again. Well, I do not totally dread stamina training because it has its advantages. I am so tired once again . . . I feel drained of energy, maybe because I am not taking in enough carbohydates. I feel sad again . . . wondering why life is as such . . . I am so tired however I enjoyed training. I feel like breaking down once again . . . Think on the positive side. I am so tired, tired, tired . . . I want to sleep till I desire. Netball was rather fun today however I nearly sprained my ankle because one of my juniors tripped over my ankle. Thank god I didn't. The last game was super exciting however due to my lousy umpiring, I slowed down the game. Ms Lim and Ms Teoh played and worked together as GD and GK in the last game. Exciting game yeah? Hahas. Then, tooty Chew Ling kept disturbing me today . . . eg. she kept poking me. Hahas. I realized that everytime I see Chew Ling and Bernice and hear their laughter, it just brightened up my day . . . Hahas. Alright . . . See Ya!

bloggie . . . I am not feeling good today . . . feeling a little ill . . . I have a stomachache. Anyway, basically my whole day was spent doing A maths, maths . . . maths . . . However the feeling of completing my assignment which consisted of 10 long questions was fulfilling. My abs are aching now because I did 100 sit-ups and 50 crunches last night? I added another 1 min of crunches because I felt that I really needed to tone my abs well. I was afraid that they might turn into fats which was not desirable. I'm chewing on aloe vera bits now . . . so crunchy and juicy . . . nice . . . hahas. Hmm . . . Didn't get to talk to Chew Ling and company today . . . hahas. I was pretty fed up with Mabel today becauseI just found out that the gathering last saturday which I went was a Christian gathering. She obviously didn't spared a thought for me . . . I was not suppose to attend anything related to Christianity . . . I am a Buddhist. It's obvious that Mabel is trying to convert me into a Christian. And . . . I will not oblige to it! Stop bothering me to attend your church, Mabel. I will not convert my religion. Alright . . . I will be having netball training tomorrow, I had better get more rest tonight. Bye!

bloggie . . . this weekend had not let me down . . . I enjoyed myself entirely this full 2 days. Well, I had written down yesterday's event in the previous blog already so if you want to know what happened, read the previous entry.
Basically, I had to rush through my homework today because I have to hand them up tomorrow. Especially my Chemistry Ten Yr Series. Alright, I went to compass with debbie today to try to finish up the TYS. Coincidentally, Amanda and Chew Ling wanted to tag along so I obliged. Hahas. Actually, I wanted them along too. Yupp . . . We had burger king. After eating and laughing, I began doing my homework. What the heck . . . I couldn't fully focus on the TYS because Chew ling was there and I kept wanting to laugh and fool around. Hahas. We chatted and meanwhile I did my work. So fun and funny. Afterwards around 3 plus, I decided we should go and walk around because 'Psss . . .' I wanted to see what kind of stuff Chew Ling adores so that I could get her a birthday present. Hahas. However, it seemed to me she dosen't adore anything except stupid stuff . . . hahas.
Anyway, I found out that Ms Lim reads my blog occasionally and this scares me because I cannot write stuff that are too personal here. Er . . . Ms Lim, please don't read my blog anymore . . . And I want this blog to remain personal because I write my personal thoughts and feelings here so it's private. Though I had written my web address on my msn before. Alright . . . Have to leave now . . . See Ya!

bloggie . . . I went for a swim at Yio Chu Kang today. I did lots of stupid lame stuff in the water, so fun. Hahas. I felt that I behaved like a kid once again today. I enjoy the feeling of eating simple with my family at a hawker centre and then we head back to our home sweet home after a long day. I really miss those days when we lived simple. Though we still live simple today. My eyes are sore now due to the chlorine in the pool. It hurts.
This morning around 11 am, I left home for Mabel's house. I was the first to arrive and I waited there for about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, I smsed Chew Ling. Soon, time passed and Joseph and group arrived. I find chatting with Chew ling enjoyable and fun, hahas. Mabel also soon came. We headed to Mabel's 'landed property' house in her family car. Phew . . . The moment we entered the house through the main door, everyone in the house stared at us. It was quite frightening for us because I do not know quite a number of these people in the house whom were Mabel's relatives and church friends. Anyway, I got to know 'Ethel' who seem like a pretty nice girl. I had spagetti for lunch which was rather sumptuous. Next, the show began . . . It was a show about Christ and stuff . . . however, it was an interesting show though. Hahas, I nearly slept while watching it because I didn't had adequate sleep the night before. Ouch . . . my thigh muscles hurt alot today, walking was quite a problem for me. Heh heh . . . We headed to heartland mall at around 3.15 pm. Mabel decided to take some neo-prints. I went ahead with it, besides I had no choice, she was so chou lou. I realized that the shoot was a very quiet one because I guessed everyone was mature. So different from the one I took with Chew Ling and group, I kept laughing and screaming hystrically, like I was nuts or something. I headed home soon after that. We went swimming after that. That's all! See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . I had not a really nice night sleeping . . . I woke up at 7 plus this morning and I felt that my eyes seem swollen. I suddenly felt that I detested father because he is always siding with my little sister no matter what. This morning he saw my sister wrote on a board that 'Charlene sucked like hell' twice and he told me that I was a bad sister. He is an idiot man . . . He should be scolding her instead of me because my little sister is writing such stuff about me and he is siding with her. Though I tend to quarrel with my little sister frequently. Alright, later I will be heading to Mabel's house to watch some stupid show. I am so sleepy now . . .

hello bloggie . . . Today was a strenuous day for me . . . I had the very first training after my camp. Furthermore, the focus for today's training was stamina. We did lots of sprinting and launches . . .My thigh muscles ache quite badly right now. Well . . . today after training, I asked my friends how they thought of Mario . . . my kor . . . they thought he was not really good-looking. I had always thought Mario was good-looking . . . however I realized that I have never been close to him and take a good look of him, hence I don't really know how he looked. The thing that attacts me to him is his hair.
Anyway, I realized that I am one girl who goes for the looks of guys. That is a bad habit. I am beginning to ignore any guys character. So beat . . . haven't been improving my english by reading . . . going to do so later . . . and add more words to my vocabulary. Hahas.

bloggie . . . these few days have been exciting for me . . . However, I have nothing much to write now because I'm having a slight headache. Anyway, yesterday night Kor smsed me and told me he broke up with his girlfriend. Poor thing . . . I think his girlfriend must be heartbroken. And that is inevitable. I asked him what happened and he said he would tell me about it tomorrow which is today. He added that he felt shy to come and approach me, so funny. However, today during recess, he didn't dared to come and approach me because I guessed there are alot of people in class and there are rumours going about us.
I will focusing on my goal and not at guys. It's diffiuclt but I'll do it. Hahas. Anyway, there will be a conference later with Amanda and friends. I was pretty upset today because Mabel suspected that I was a lesbian . . . half-half . . . she said that I liked both guys and girls. It all began because I kept saying I wanted to go and see Chew Ling and Bernice frequently. I don't understand why that makes her think I am a lesbian. -.- Anyway, I proclaim and announce that I'm straight! Okie, got to go . . . see ya!

dear bloggie . . . I have an A maths test coming up next week, very pressurizing. It's my first test in this new term, and I ought to do well for a good start. Feelings for him just keep coming and going as fast as the wind. I am trying really hard to control them but I keep thinking of him. Why am I behaving like a kid who has lost her sense of consciousness? Wake up! This is the real world! hahas. I have to be mature in my thinking . . .

Feelings for him are fading away soon . . .

dear bloggie . . . I'm in deep shit man . . . I have yet to get wendy a suitable present. I think I will get her chocolates at the nearest mart. Or maybe I will give her a belated present. Today, Mario performed on stage . . . so cool . . . smittened by him. Hahas. Look! My kor is playing the guitar there . . . so stylo milo man . . . hahas. I realized something recently . . I treat Mario as my kor only. Though some things cannot be totally controlled by me, I am trying hard to control them. See Ya!

bloggie . . . I went to compass with chew liing and stupid bernice today to look for a sutable present for idiot wendy who didn't reply to my msg again. She's irritating me . . . what she thinks I am... I am an ordinary girl with ordinary desires, not what chew liing and bernice thinks . . . I am here trying to forget my ugly memories and wendy is reminding me of my past . . . To Wendy and fellow cockroaches: I am not what you think okie! Go on and think whatever you want, I don't give a damn . . . This is shit man . . . Don't think of me this way . . . I will prove you wrong!
Alright . . . change the topic . . . I have to rush up all the homework that are yet to be done. Well . . . Mario will be performing on stage tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. I think I will get wendy a cockroach and put it in a box, this will scare her out of her wits . . . hahas. OKie, bye!

oh . . . bloggie . . . I didn't accomplished anything today. Well, maybe I cleaned my house. Bloggie, I am so afraid to like this one guy whom I have liked since I was Sec. 1. He is quite popular with girls because of his stylish hair. He is also very tall. He has hurt my feelings many times although he doesen't even knows. I spent a ton of a time forgetting him and now he is once again coming back to my life after about 3 months later? I wished I would forget him and he would disappear out of my life . . . though if I don't see him, my heart shreds into pieces. He is the guy whom I have ever liked so much and he would never had known. I would make it impossible between us because he is impossible. He has different attitude and values from me . . . it's impossible.

My heart is healing

why bother to come back and hurt me once again

though if you're gone

my heart would be in shreds

leave me alone please . . .

why . . . why . . . why . . . leave me alone . . . My heart is fading for you . . .

bloggie . . . I went to m'sia today to visit my aunt who is suffering from cancer and she will not be living on this world for long. I guess this will be the last time I will be seeing her. So saddening. I arrived at the hospital in Johore and the hospital was very low-standard. It seem like it was in ruins. Everywhere seem very unhygiene and gloomy. It did not seem like a place for my aunt to rest. Guess you can't expect much from a free-paid hospital. It was a pathetic place to recuperate. The moment we arrived at the ward my aunt was lying at, she saw us and everyone were like staring at each other. I can sense that my aunt was going to break out in tears. I felt really sad at that moment. I felt that life was really precious when you see someone whom you knew going off quite soon. It's a sorrow. It's a painful process to see someone slowly dying from cancer and you know that person. I cannot imagine if that person is much closer to me, I would have wished I can undertake the pain the person is suffering.
Anyway, I bought a new handphone casing for my Nokia 3220. It's stylo milo now. I love my phone now! hahas. Okie, See Ya!

hello bloggie... just woke up and freshen up... I spent last night writing my private diary. I was feeling so empty last night... I had even wrote a 'so-called' poem on how I was feeling... here goes...
Emptiness fills my heart
Empty so hollow with echoes
nothing lingers there except . . .
darkness & peace
I was feeling so empty last night that I had wrote out a poem... I still feel lethargic after a night's sleep. At camp, I miss my Sec. 2 friends too. Especially Chew Ling and Bernice... hahas. I thought I wasn't going to miss them because they were rather irritating . . . however, I miss their laughter . . . Okie.. See Ya!

bloggie... I just got back from Bahtera camp... 3 days 2 nights... I'm beat... I am going to describe the whole experience at camp. The first night at camp was very memorable... The instructors came and shouted us to turn in at 12.15 am. I tucked myself into the sleeping bag and hid my head under the cover. I suddenly felt so sad because I missed my family and mother badly... I laid under the covers and tears began streaming down my eyes. I felt terrible and I just kept crying... I couldn't really slept and woke up again at 1 am plus. I woke up at 5.30 am plus the next morning. I felt that i really wanted to talk to my Mom... I called her and we exchanged concern. After that, I went to prepare myself for the long day ahead. On the second day at camp, we had Nasi Lemak in the morning and we began our activities. We headed to CRC2 where we had to do high, scary activities. I did the log thingy where we had to walk across the log empty-handed trying to balance. I thought it was going to be very simple untill I got up there. It was terrifying, I was so scared that I was stunned to move. I walked very slowly to the next end and got down. In the afternoon, we had kayaking! We headed out to sea and it was quite fun... got alot of kelongs(houses in the sea). My kayak kept drifting away from the rest... We had campfire at night. My group had to perform, we did a sexy dance called "7 steps to take a shower" ... damn funny man... hahas. 3rd day at camp, we had our breakfast and prepared to head back to school. In fact, I don't know why... I miss my instructor now... she's damn hilarious. She is Wati.. hahas.. I describe her appearance... she has short spiky hair, she is short and have slightly large eyes... hahas.. Okie... got to go.. See Ya!

dear bloggie. . . tomorrow, I will be heading to camp for 3 days. The Sec. 3s said that they enjoyed the camp. I won't be updating you till Friday. Bloggie, I am super happy today. . . because something happened to me today, however it won't last long I guessed. Ow.... I miss u.... -.- ask me go eat shit la. I feel that I am more focused on my studies now. I have not been thinking about BGR lately. I worry about how are we going to bath at the camp-site. Mario smsed me today. Oh well... nothing about him . . . Okie.. See Ya!

hello bloggie... I will be having my camp the next after tomorrow... I hate camps... However, imagining the fun that I am going to enjoy at camp, I might just might be manipulated. Hahas. Ahhh..... I have two humongous pimples on my face!!! Oh... I have to go apply pimple cream... and then whitening cream again... Sigh. Basically, I was pretty afraid that i would get caught today because of my hair. I was like weak to the cold at the parade square. Especially when I saw Mrs Lim and her piercing eyes... super horrendous. Hahas. Ow... I'm so going to miss someone when I head to camp. Of course I am so going to miss my family and home but there's this special someone...Hahas. I am heading to the movies with aidan this saturday or youth day I guess. Hahas. It's going to be so fun... hahas. Okie, See Ya!

I didn't spend my day fruitfully today... I did some homework in the morning. I went to compass with Chew ling and Bernice earlier in the afternoon just now. I hid at the 2nd level above the MRT station entrance at compass point. They arrived at Old Chang Kee and I stood above them giggling and laughing my head off as I stare at them looking puzzled at where I was. We walked around compass for an hour or so and i bought what i needed. They kept teasing me and I don't really like it. I later get Mabel to get back at you both... hahas. I have been quite busy preparing for my camp and school. I hope I don't get caught by my discipline master, anyway I coloured my hair for a reason. I have grey hair so I had to colour my hair. I am a girl and I want to be beautiful too. That's what every natural and normal girl feels... If I get caught by my DM, my Dad might write a letter for me to the DM. Hahas. However, I know I shouldn't have coloured my hair to brown. I have coloured it to black already but the colour couldn't eat in and it worn off after a while. Hahas.. Okie, See Ya!

yesterday night, I chatted with Chew ling and Bernice on the phone till Midnight... hahas. I told them about my primary school past which I had never told anyone about untill now. I did some recollection of my memories when I was Pri. 6 again last night. It is rather haunting for me to recall them again. When Bernice and Chew Ling knew about my past in Pri. 6, they were rather taken aback because they felt I had a scary past. Well, I have since learnt to live with it because it has been so long already, like about 3 years already? These memories were affecting me badly when I was in secondary school but I have like a said, learnt to live with it. Hahas. Anyway, today Chew ling and bernice went to work when it was the last day of our holidays. Stupid la... Maybe I will take the camp as an enjoyment? Means i will just head there and enjoy myself. Take myself away from my memories... These memories are hurting me and changing me. I trying to resist it. I am not going to change. Though I have lived with these memories for decent time. Anyone reading this entry, don't ask me about it in school okie... anybody... See Ya!

bloggie... I feel that something is amissed today. I feel so empty once again... the feeling of emptiness is like a empty black hole with echoes. Why is life like that? Why do we have to go through whatever we have to do everyday? It is tiring... Hahas. I speak like I want to end my life as such. I was just wondering what do we work so hard for when we will just die in the end... I feel like meeting up with my friends and have a good laugh. I miss someone... It's weird to miss that person though. I want to meet that person right now at this moment. Though I'm in a mess right now. After living in this world for 14 years, I still have not found the passion of my life. Although netball is currently my passion, but I can't work with netball right... Well, maybe I can... School is reopening... Well, I will look at the brighter side, I am going to begin a term of new learning. Though I know that this semester will be tough for me to catch up what I have missed. I have a goal at the end of this semester and that is to be in the Top 15 in my level. I have to work very hard and stay focus. I am now currently 35th in my level. I will not lose my perpective. Okie, I am looking forward to a new semester of hard work and focus. That's why I am quite reluctant to begin the new semester. Study Hard and Stay Focused!!!

hello bloggie, it's saturday today and it seem like a gloomy day for me. I slept on my younger sister's bed yesterday night. It was the top bunk and I didn't slept on her bed at night before. It was so uncomfortable to sleep on her bed and hence I didn't slept well. I have eye-bags now... ow... I kept waking up with my hair over my face because the fan was blowing super fast at my face, it was so itchy with the hair all over my face and I kept staying awake. Before I slept, I smsed Chew ling to chat with me...hahas. We smsed crap to each other, hahas. Phew... I'm so sleepy now... my eyes are about to close... ow... I hate that stupid bed of my sister's. OKie, Bye!!

today was a hectic day for me... my younger sister came back from volleyball training and she looked very sad and stressed out. I saw her limping and I thought something was wrong and I found out she had sprained her ankle. I asked for her permission to tell my parents about it. They yelled at her and scolded her till she was teary. I looked at her ankle after that and that was the first time I saw someone's ankle so swollen, I guessed. I told her to ice it. My parents are taking her to the sinseh later.
Well, I will change the subject now. I had training today. We did medicine ball and lots of drills. My arm aches now. We played several games today and I liked one game particularly. I played GD in that game, I was defending Pei Wen in that game. I felt that I defended her quite well as I was totally following her in the game and at the same time, intercepting some balls though it was rather tiring for me. Ms Teoh kept yelling me and telling me to jump for the ball and don't hit the ball out when I could catch it instead. I learnt quite a number of things today as a GD. hahas. It was a fun game... It was a rather strenuous training after all... We headed to compass after the training for lunch. I ate kfc again... hahas.
School is going to reopen and I will be having camp the second day of school. And I don't have to empasised how much I have always hated camps... I hate camps... I hate camps... Yea.. I think I will be heading to Sports Connection to get myself a new backpack. My school back is rather uncomfortable for me. I need to handle my expenditre though. I need to buy a new pair of cross-trainers and my backpack. My budget is $150 and it's sort of coming out of my pocket. I need to get a new pack of cross-trainers and my top choice is of course, Asics! Hahas. I love their cushioning, just love it. My stupid nike cross-trainers are squeaking and the friction is wearing out super fast after wearing for like 6 months. Waste my money, $74! Well, I am waiting for a miracle to happen and I can get more $$$. hahas. And I guess you know what a miracle would be like when my parents play 4D. Hahas. I don't think I will be getting the daily contact lens, it's not worth it... Must buy the whole box instead of a pair or two. I will be preparing for my camp soon, this sat or sun.
Alright, that's all... this is all for today... hahas.. bye!

today was a hectic day for me... I kept worrying and pondering over the A maths re-examination. I was afraid I would fail again, anyway, I had done enough practice. Today, before the re-exam, Aidan smsed me as he was asked to do so, hahas... He gave me some encouragement and I headed for the examination hall. Earlier on in the evening, I chatted with xuan yi. He reads my blog regularly, i guessed. I told him that I liked someone else and he said he will make sure I liked him more. One very determined guy. Well, I don't want to do anything. I just want nature to take its course. I'm going to stay focused... If he is able to make me like him, then so be it... He even thought of escaping out of his hostel to meet me. Hahas. He believes in love at first sight. Hahas. Yeah! I can stay online till quite late today. No more re-examination but still have home work to finish up. Okie... See Ya!

it was a weird day today... Mabel came over to my house and revise with me for the A maths re-examination the next day. She was so hyper-active. Hahas, she couldn't find my flat and she went round and round sengkang just to find my house... hahas. Anyway, I will be writing my book review later. I need to hand it up when school reopens. I'm still feeling ditters about the re-exam tomorrow though I have been doing my work. Well, I will be brushing up on it again later so that I can be more prepared tomorrow. By the way, I have been in close contact with aidan these few days, we are becoming real good friends. hahas. Sometimes, when I feel lonely, I will sms him and we will chat.
School is going to reopen and I will be heading to camp, and I hate camps! I heard that the girls bathroom has no doors and we bath with a limp cloth hanging... so awful! I hate camps... still have to pack the clothes... Okie.. See Ya!

seem like time passes so fast... I spent my afternoon reading books and checking out the meaning of the words that I didn't understood. I will try using some of these words that I have checked out now. Today, I went downstairs to the econ minimart to buy something. I couldn't find it and I asked the helper and she sneered at me. What a belligerent attitude! I managed to find the soy sauce that my mom wanted but there were two similar types and I couldn't make up my mind... so tentative for me! Hahas... i was just making everything up... heez... See Ya! Aidan is monitoring my time management... hahas... better hurry go and finish up my work.

i'm beginning to feel studious again. Thanks to aidan... hahas. I have almost finished my A maths homework. Yep... I found out who is xuan yi just now, through the yearbook. He's not really handsome... hahas. I just finished reading half a book, if I continue reading later, I am quite certain I can finish it before school reopens. The book I am currently is called ' Cold Slice '. The beginning is rather boring and still, however it gets exciting when you read to climax of the story. hahas. Anyway, I have to plan my time carefully this week. I need to get every ready before school reopens. I have to revise the previous chapters of some of my weaker subjects such as my chemistry and physics. Alright, there's not much I can update right now. I guess there's an upturn usually in the evening when everyone comes online. See Ya!

i didn't studied much today... went to celebrate Father's Day. We didn't really do much today. I'm feeling so hot now that i'm not really in the mood to update my blog. It's so humid! Sigh, I will be having my A maths re-examination this coming Wednesday. School is re-opening... I feel pressurized again... I need to do some recapping of my subjects. And what a time to do it... the last week of my holidays! Okie, tomorrow I will begin my self-study by full-intensity. So bored... alright I will end here...

mmm... bloggie... I went to watch the netball super league. I found the game exciting at first, but slowly it got boring a little. I just pick up some tactics from the game that was ongoing. I didn't see Ms Lim and Ms Teoh at Toa Payoh Sports Hall. So disappointing... I admired the GK, GD of the mannas, didn't really odserved the arowanas... the arowanas won. The GD of the arowanas was very flexible, she did a split on the court. Anyway, the game ended and I headed home with Mabel in a taxi. She kept poking me in the taxi. We alighted at kovan. I was about to go off to take the MRT when Mabel asked me to wait first, she said she wanted to give me a HUG! hahas. I rushed home quickly, don't want to disappoint my parents trust in me. I went online then got a guy who added me on msn. I asked him who is he and he said he is xuan yi. Who the heck is that person, I don't know. He told me that he likes me... hahas. Oh ya, I chatted with aidan over the net. He has squash practice today... Okie.. See ya.. Bye!

ouch... my arm hurts... yep, today there will be the netball super league going on at toa payoh sports hall. I have no idea where is that place though. Hahas. So bored... heez, I chatted with aidan yesterday night via the sms... hahas. We chatted about certain things, hahas. Very funny... I found out some things about aidan that I would never had imagined... But nevermind. Yea, Mabel's back from Perth. I just chatted with her on the phone earlier on. She seem very energised... Sigh...

I feel like i'm in a daze now... IT'S SO UNFAIR TO ME! My dad came to talk to me about my little sister. He told me that the teacher who counselled my sister told him that I'm always calling my sister to go and die... Well, that's not a false accusation... I scold her because she's always doing things that just irritate me. It's like so unfair to me because my little sister is also using severe words of vulgarity on me too and it seem like all this don't apply to her because she has got the backup of her teacher. What is this man! It seem like I don't have the stand or priority to scold anything. Why do I have to be the role model when my elder sister dosen't even want to role model herself to me. Do you know my character is totally different from my 2 other sisters who are sort of rebellious and I have to role model MYSELF!? This is so unfair to me man! I hate this! I learnt all the values of life from my netball coach, Ms Lim. Not from this family man. I hate this! This is not entirely my fault that my little sister turned out like that okie. Blame it on my Dad who dotes on my little sister too much and she got spolit-spot. I don't get doted on as much as her okie even at this age. She turned bad all because of his fault! Not mine! He doted on her and naturally I was jealous and I felt that I was treated biasedly... hence, i didn't really like my little sister. If her bloody teacher would only understand this, she wouldn't put this bloody statement on me... Furthermore, she is a volleyball teacher... I disliked volleyball teachers... In school, some of the vball players often make sarcastic remarks on us, netball players for not getting anything out of the tournament... I hate all this!

ow... my arm hurts badly... I rubbed ointment on my left arm.... the shoulders... and you know how difficult it is for me to rub that part. Anyway, I just did that. All because of chew ling la, so heavy and still... hahas... kidding. Later, I will be heading to the hair salon to trim my fringe and do some stuff. I am damn moody today man, I hate to be injured... My tailbone still hurts everytime I sit and stand... I feel like a weakling, being restricted because of my pain. Okie, stay positive okie... sigh... +ve... +ve.... I feel fed up... lousy... Arrgghhh.... Help! Calm down.................

today is another day of doing my homework day... hahas. My arm hurts now, I think I twisted it. I thought it was going to be okie since it didn't hurt much after that match, but it hurts now everytime I turn my arm. Sometimes, I feel like giving up on netball, I injured my arm... my tailbone have not yet recovered because I did not heed my doctor's advice. There are so many factors that make me want to give up netball. However, my passion to be in the court playing keeps me going. Well, there are ups and downs in things I do. However, in netball, I face so many downs and thank god I overcame the most difficult one. I used to think I was inferior to my other team-mates in playing netball and furthermore I was always very negative about myself. I worked hard and never gave up on myself, I brought myself to where I am today. I want to work harder and bring myself higher. The club Sneakers is my idol netball players. I hope to be like them. Yesterday evening was rather chaotic in my house, my little sister came home from her camp and she got severly scolded by my dad for dropping her handphone into the seawater whether unintentionly or intentionly. It was chaotic with my sister screaming at my dad and my dad setting his stand and setting rules down on her. I'm going to do my homework right now... update you later...

bloggie... I missed mabel's scoldings in the court... today without her nagging in court, I felt helpless... Mabel, hurry come back from perth please... She wasn't there to guide me and help me... I nearly lost my life... I realized what role Mabel played in my life... Come back... hahas... you will be back tomorrow anyway... Mabel... I love you.... hahas... to prove how much you guided me in life... 0.0

Yupp... had some friendly matches at kallang. I fared badly in the games today... In the first game we played, I didn't put in enough effort and yep, you know the results. Furthermore, I was playing Mabel's position, GD. It was rather tough for me... Anyway, it is over and at least I gained exposure and learned some things... Yep, I had lunch at kfc and agreed to meet Aidan... I was so scared because earlier in court, a bunk GS from Gan Eng Seng sort of looked like Aidan? hahas. By the way, Aidan looked cool with the squash racket in his hands... hahas... not bad looking la... He asked me out again on a weekend... well, it's fine with me la, going out with a good-looker... hahas. Hmm... my knee joints is feeling sort of sore or tired... hahas... i'm an old woman. Yupp, I went to take some neo-prints with chew ling and group. So funny... i kept screaming... because I was so excited about picture-taking? hahas. Anyway... See Ya! i'm tired.....

hello... my day is about to end... so fast.. just this morning I was doing my homework.. then now, it's half past 5 o'clock. Just visited friendster earlier on, then i found dominic's picture... reminder... Associate chew ling with dominic... waahaas... so bored... nothing to type...
Thinking of a quote now... here goes... time is constantly passing, do utmost what you can now and look forward to a brand new day. Once a minute is gone, it is gone forever and ever... Don't despair at time passing so quickly, instead enjoy your every moment by making utmost of what you have got. And also with a beautiful smile... hahas... Alright... I need to shorten it first... hahas... See Ya!

i just finished 5 sums from the ten yrs series... I have been dealing with pop-ups like crazy. Anyway, I downloaded 2 pop-up blockers... hahas... so kiasu... Earlier on, I received many sms from my friends about tomorrow's friendly match. Sigh.. so in-organised... anyway, the vice-captain will decide what jersey to wear tomorrow since the captain is gone to perth and will only be back on friday. Hahas, just now chatted with jay lloyd then he said going to m'sia to shop. So good.. I have not got to go overseas for ages... I want to go so many places... Korea, japan... America.. Ireland? Hahas, later i die there.... I keep getting distracted while doing my homework. That's because I am doing my homework in front of my computer! Stupid me... Sigh... don't want to study in my room.. so quiet... no facilities.. hahas. Okie.. I finish up my work first... update you later...

hello.. bloggie... yesterday night have been a rather freezing night for me... so cold, I'm down with a flu now. Yea... tomorrow, I will be having a friendly match with cedac and gan eng seng... I want to gauge how strong they have become and I want to compare and learn. By the way, I think our netball team have not been improving so we are only maintaining where we are now. I am quite assured that the other school teams have been improving? Okie, I will maintain faith in my netball team, I believe in my team doing well... Alright, Reef we shall fight till the end okie? I'll make sure you all do so. All right, back to my studies... trying to clear the load slowly... Okie, update you later...

hmm... after finishing several maths questions, I wanted a short break so I decided to update you again. I am trying to stay focused. By the way, I will not be going for the movies with my dear parents later. I want to revise logarithms and those of my weak chapters. Well that said, I don't know whether I will be able to accomplish it because I am afraid i will get distracted or I might somehow join my parents for the movies. I am trying to be mature, think maturely, I have to... my o'levels are next year which is not a very long time before it's my turn. I still remember my history teacher's piece of advice: Those people who have been slacking the past 2 years while preparing for the o' levels will suffer when the results are out. Similarly, last year my results were satisfying so when I saw how those who didn't do as well as i did, I felt sorry for them, no... i didn't care about them, they didn't worked hard enough. Nonetheless, when it was my turn to taste failure this time round, I realized that it is not as easy as it seems to score well in my Sec. 3 years. I have to take notes on my own and be attentive in class... you have got to be self-dependent in order to score well. Well, when the new term begins, I guess i have to change my world round. set rules for myself... taking notes... be self-dependent... I won't be pampered by my teachers... revise every day... as easy as said... action speaks louder than words... I want to be self-motivated!

hello.. bloggie... later, I have to begin revising my a maths again..Next week I will be having my a maths re-examination. I keep telling myself I must buck up but I still keep getting influenced/distracted... I'm sicked of this man! Stay Focused! Alright, I plan to do mathematics untill my lunch time and later hahas... my dad took half-day off, so he's going take my mom out to the movies and my mom asked me whether I wanted to come along. Of course i wanted but I will consider... don't want to be a gooseberry... hahas.. so old already... geez.. yesterday night, I chatted with cockroach chew ling till 11 pm plus... so beat... sigh. Hahas, chew ling, if you're reading this... I tell you, you would never have guessed who the hell i like... even if you've guessed right. Wahahas... Yupp... I have nothing much to type about anyway... SeeYa

yep.. bloggie.. I went to the movies with jay lloyd and chew ling just now. Everyone was so solemn just now that I had to keep asking where we were going to head next. Yupp... We headed to cold storage to get some snacks to *smuggle into the cinema theatre. Before that, we had lunch at kfc, I was the only one who ate there, they were too full or something. Jay lloyd tried to pull some jokes on us, some worked and some didn't, hahas... Chew ling sneaked a bite on my cheese fries... chew ling, you hungry just say so... hahas. We headed to the cinema theatre and the seating arrangement was a little fuzzy... Chew ling didn't want to sit beside jay, so I sat beside jay instead and he kept figeting, sort of like changing postures... hahas... the show ended and we headed home. During my journey home together with chew ling, we chatted and laughed non-stop... I pull a prank on bernice over the phone... don't tell you what it is... hahas.... so funny... I had enjoyed my day overall... wahahas... heez.. see ya...

hello... bloggie... today I'm going out with Jay lloyd and Qiu Ling... actually Bernice will be coming however she has projects to finish up. So fun... hahas. I had a nice dream last night or this morning. Actually it was a werid one. I dreamt that I was in a forest and my whole family, I think, was trapped in net on the ground then a vampire wolf came and bit my father. The rest of us ran home and locked the doors... leaving my dad there.. hahas. Then... My dad somehow got home and find us. I realized that he had became a vampire. I hid in the wardrobe in my room and he came and find me and he bit me on the wrist, it hurt a little.. hahas. He bit my whole family. We turned into vampires. I graved for blood. I was a sad person in my dream, all alone all the time. However, I could fly anywhere I wanted... I recalled that in the night I flew up to the highest storey of my flat. It was so cool. One thing very funny is that I find guys for blood... hahas... Er, then I had another dream... I dreamt that my grand pa offered to pay for us to go overseas for holidays... so fun! We were in a very high-tech place where things were all made of high-technology... things were efficient...hahas... i'm insane... Okie.... got to go.. see ya!

ahh... mabel is gone to Perth... I'm going to miss her... didn't realized her important existence to me untill she has gone for her holidays. I miss her... I really want to forget a person who has appeared in my life and sort of hurt me... I want to forget him. Yet... he has kind of rekindled our friendship again by smsing me and chatting with me. I wished I didn't read his message and don't want to see him. He is a crush I had since the beginning of this year. I can't reveal his name... he is someone whom is rather popular... He smsed me and asked me whether I still liked norman... what the... well... I only hope that i will regard him as a friend only. He likes someone who is rather close to me and thus I can't like him because it would be sort of a love triangle... and i don't want that to happen... It is complicated... Anyway, a guy called Ben had been really good friends with me before but since he's so fickle-minded, he liked another girl and i sensed it and know it, she is mabel... He's a flirt... well, i can't help it either... Aiya... I haven't been reading my books to improve my english, I had better pull my socks up, hahas. Alright! I will try hard to make my feelings for him drift away... so easy yet so hard... hahas... I'll be +ve... hahas... yea... Next thurs have friendly match with gan eng seng and cedac... hope we at least can equal the score.. hahas. I will make sure I will learn something from that exposure...

hello.. bloggie... Today, basically was a tiring day for me. I had training in the afternoon. Before that, Amanda had asked me the day before to join her and chew ling they all for lunch at compass today. I left the house for compass when I was being told that Ms Lim would be joining us for lunch too. I looked forward to much excitement and fun.. hahas. We ate our lunch at KFC and ordered my food and sat down. I liked to make fun of chew ling... hahas. so funny, I like to call her laughing cockroach, because when she laugh, she sound like a cockroach. We ate and laugh endlessly. I can't stop laughing when you put chew ling and bernice in front of me, I will fool around with them and laugh. Hahas... They are damn hilarious... Yupp, then I didn't know Ms Lim drove a car there and so I wanted to take a escalator up and head back to school. We arrived at the car park and Amanda and group walked in front quickly to gain a suitable seat for themselves. Me, knowing that I will definitely get to seat in the car no matter what(i don't mind squeezing with them), I walked lazily behind... hahas. I got to sit in the front seat which was what i didn't expected but so what... hahas. We arrived at school and played volleyball for a while and prepared for training. Training begun and ended. During the fitness training, Ms Lim took a picture of my bum... hahas... i guess. Anyway, I attracted lots of attention during this training. Ahh... my skins peeling much.. very itchy and dry... okie.. seee ya!

bloggie, I had a boring day today... I went to Bugis with my parents in the noon, actually intended to do some shopping however when I arrived there, the feeling of shopping dissipated. We did window-shopping instead. Sometimes, I dream of becoming an actress or a big star and I feel like realizing this dream however there is not enough motivation or encouragement from my close ones so everytime I think of it, the thought flows away... Indeed, this is my dream. I have other dreams too. I want to be national netballer, however I don't have enough focus and motivation to keep thinking about it. I mean I'm already in this line, I just have to work harder and stay focused. However, if I want to be famous, I have to be given a chance. I mean i don't have a talent to act or sing... I have to be talent-scouted and that's a really tough chance I will be chosen just like my elder sister who didn't grab the chance when she had it, to become a model... which is a very stupid choice. She had the height and looks yet she gave up the chance... Well, it can be really difficult for her to make a choice too, because there were so many beautiful people in the modelling class. Arrgghh... Well, why am I talking about this... I just wanted to talk about my life... hahas. I'm serious. Nevermind... I chatted with Qiu Ling via the sms just now, so funny. I told her that she was a laughing cockroach... so funny.. hahas. Alright... my skin is still as red as a lobster... -.- sigh.. so painful... sometimes, i wonder just what is life... We are constantly working working hard throughout our lives and stressing ourselves however the outcome of our hardwork is really fruitful. And, I really like the feeling of giving my best shot and getting what the results that i desire. Hahas... okie.. need to go now..

back to update you after a very hot and disturbing night of sleeping... My shoulders hurt so much that I kept waking up to ease the pain and I even resort to sleeping on the floor because it was cooler. My skin is red like I just went throught a furnace like that. Okie... I'll continue from the part where Mabel's arm got bitten by something... This is Part II of yesterday's adverture... Yupp, then Mabel and I returned back to the beach where we originally were, and Tiff and Eugenia swam back, heard from tiff that it was pretty scary because the distance between one end of the beach to the other end is pretty long. Anyway, they decided to get onto the float in the middle of the sea... I walked into the water and then Mabel begin saying, " Ahh... so deep... so deep! " I was pretty scared too because I couldn't feel my feet on anything. Mabel and eugenia swam to the float first then tiff came along and I told her I don't know how to swim... actually I knew but I was so afraid that i didn't know what to do. All of them were at the float then I was still in the waters of nowhere... so i swam back a little to prevent myself from drowning... Mabel came to the RESCUE! She came to fetch me and said, " Okie... just dog-paddle... " I did what she told me and I managed to get onto the FLOAT! hahas. I tasted much saltwater and I felt like I was choking, because it was really damn salty. My throat got irritated and I wanted to spit out the salt in my throat. We tanned on the float for quite a moment then we swam back to shore. Oh ya, I forgot to indicate earlier that we bought our lunch from the nearby 7-eleven... I began to apply sun-tanning oil on my back and shoulders.. hahas... Then, we played volleyball and we went to get onto the float again, but this time, as the tide was lower, I could walk straight to the float... hahas. On the float, Mabel and Eugenia kept applying sun-tanning oil on their bodies, I guess they're going to get super-red.. hahas. Okie, then I had to head home with Tiff because her mum wants her back at 5 pm. We changed and we headed to the bus-stop to wait for a bus. However, we took the tram because we were tired of waiting and it made a stupid round and we're back at the bus-stop where we originally was. The bus finally came and we boareded and headed straight home... My arm hurts.... Ahhh...

hello bloggie, I'm very happy today. I went to sentosa today with mabel, tiff and eugenia and two guys. We took the shuttle bus to sentosa and later bought our tickets and headed to the Palawan beach. We alighted from the bus at palawan beach, woa.. it was pretty hot and humid. The scenery there was splendid man... the waters splashing onto the shores, the skies so blue, the sun was so bright , it was a beautiful scene. We made our way to search for a suitable location to place the mat with our bags on it, then we found an area shaded by two large palm trees. Our so-called adverture or fun began... I didn't want to get myself wet... so I began playing the volleyball and they joined in except eugenia.. hahas.. Then I decided to foolaround with the water near the shore... after walking through the waters for a while, Mabel and Eugenia got bored and they whispered to each other, " Why don't we try to throw Charlene into the water? " I was very frightened and I ran off. After umpteem times of them trying to get me into the water, I decided that since I was here already, why not just let them get me in the water. BUT, I also decided that since mabel wants to play so much, I decided to drag her along with me into the water. Wahahas! After fooling around for a while, Mabel and eugenia decided to head further, so we crossed the bridge and went over to the other side of the beach, it was so fun! We lay on the sand and sunbathed, I practically lie on the seashore with the tide coming over my legs. Then Mabel decided that she wanted to tan her stomach which was very humourous because she keeps on saying that her stomach is very fat. While she was lying on the sand, she said something bit her arm and she behaved untill very paranoid like that, damn funny... okie.. i'll continue the later part of my adverture later or tomorrow... very tired... Stay tuned to Part II of my Story... hahas

arrghh... woke up very early this morning.. around 5 plus. I slept very early yesterday night at 7 pm? My muscles ached a little, I thought it wasn't going to ache because I had been exercising consistently the past week. However, it ache quite badly. This morning when I just woke up, my(behind the hip area) ache quite badly. Guess that's because I didn't heed the doctors advice or something. Anyway, yesterday I saw Jay Lloyd and Jiada at compass point. The instance Mabel saw him, she blushed... hahas... Yeah, my sis just woke up and she bought me a pair of crystal earrings, and I liked it very much. Thanks, Angie... Er... got nothing much to write about already. My day has just begin... I shall update you later in the evening... see ya... ;)

hmm... bloggie.. I have netball trainings today. Woa... I am unable to sleep at night because my heartbeat is irregular and I feel very uncomfortable, like I can't breathe properly. Today at training, the feeling of me being inferior awakens... My body coordination sucks man... that is also a very difficult part to overcome in my netball life. The game wasn't so bad after all, I had some fun and I managed to intercept some balls. Then I headed to compass point for lunch with Mabel and my team-mates. I kept meeting Qiu Ling there too... that pig-head. Bernice and her always keep saying I'm a lesbian... little shit... just because I just want to know Wendy's number. Anyway, because of this incident, it has brought Qiu Ling and me in closer terms, wahahas... It's good to get to know my junior better... Okie, I have to go right now...

er... holidays are so boring but I can take time off to take a break. I have lots of holiday homework... I am going to use my 1-month holiday to brush up my subjects. No, I'm not going out to work although some extra cash do some good for me...hahas. My Dad bought so much stored food from NTUC yesterday, he's afraid me and my sister would starve to death. I want to play! I didn't enjoyed myself much since my exams ended. Yeah! This friday, Mabel called me along to Sentosa and I'm going for some sun-tanning and FUN! I want to call along some more fun-loving people along. Grrrghh... what if Mabel have to call off the event? I would slaughter her up. What should I write? I'm feeling so empty right now. After thinking a while, I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to be tied down to one person. Besides, I tend to be closer to girls than guys, can't really communicate with guys if I would to go with them except guys such as Keane and Wei Sheng laa... these guys, you can bully them and scold them without a heck... hahas.. er... not really, I don't do that to them. I see Mabel bully Wei Sheng all the time... hahas. Ahhhhh..... I'm so bored! I don't want to do my homework right now. Alright, I'll surf the net... See Ya...

hello bloggie... I woke up at 6.45 am this morning because I couldn't sleep any longer. Although I feel very energetic, my eyes felt droopy and tired. As I have asked Ben to update his blog, I went to look at his blog the very first thing I did when I came online. In his blog, he states that he dislikes Aidan, and I wonder why. Nevermind about that. Everything in his blog proves very obvious to me. I am quite lost for words. He seem to taking it so fast and I don't really like it. Frankly speaking, I want us to be friends first and slowly proceed to other stuff. Besides I don't know whether I would continue to like him if, while I get to know him, I realised that he was not suited for me. My sister wants to go jogging right now. Okie, I've got to go now...

sigh... so fast, it's evening already. I practically slept the whole day to regain my energy and spirits. I was really very tired. I plan to draw up a plan of what am I supposed to do during the holidays, so that I would have a direction at least for a month. I'm planning to go down to Kallang to watch people play netball, because I love playing netball. Then earlier on, I felt very fortunate because after I woke up from my sleep at 6 pm, my dinner was already bought home by my parents. I love my home and family. I've been thinking about my coaches these few days, my netball coach would be back from Australia and she will be training us next monday I guess. As I said that I have been missing someone, and that someone is someone very special. Nevermind about that. I seem to hate playing online games right now. It's so a waste of time. Alright, i'll be going...

hmm... this morning, I woke up early as usual... I feel a sense of satisfaction, I slept really well last night, no need any craddling. I went to Jalan Kayu with my parents to have their famous roti prata. I was shivering on my way home in the car because I drank iced milo in the morning. I arrived home feeling drowsy. Then, I switched on the computer and decided that i wanted to update my blog. I've been missing someone lately. Sigh... I don't know laa... I'm a weirdo. Anyway, it's my secret. I'm so sleepy... Okie, try to stay focused. Yesterday, while I was preparing for prize presentation, I saw Mario around the corner. His face looked as if it had been burned up... Hahas... I guess I won't be enjoying my June Holidays even though it has begun. Firstly, because there will be a Sec. 3 camp, which I hate because I have always hated camps. I am too pampered. Secondly, Ms Lim suggested that we(mainly those who failed a maths) to stay back after trainings so that she can help us with our maths. Well, that's not a really bad suggestion because I want to make the most out of my June Holidays. I said I had wanted to find a temporary job during my holidays, yet I'm with no plans about it right now. It's always like that. Sigh, I should have planned earlier. I'm so sick in the stomach now, I ate 2 pratas and drank the dinosaur(iced milo), hot and cold, sicked to the core right now. Oh ya... yesterday, after finishing the race, the area at the back of my hips felt really numb and suan... I guess the muscles ache or something, but I'm so skinny, I have no flesh there laa... Anyway, I took the medicine for my tail bone already... I'm waiting for it to heal. the doctor says there's a slight displacement of the tail bone or something like that. Anyway, it will slowly heal however it will take months. If it still hurts after the few months, then the doctor will recommend a specialist to me... Alright, I'll be alright... hahas.. See Ya! By the way, people who encouraged me yesterday during the race, thanks alot! (regardless of anyone)

today, I had my 5th annual cross-country... I'll describe the whole experience and my thoughts/feelings. Yesterday night, I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling pondering over whether I should run tomorrow... I was very confused and tempted to take the easy way out by just handing Ms Lim the medical certificate the next day and skip running. I had always feared the feeling of running during x-country because of the torture I have to endure while pushing myself forward. I hated x-country. I flipped on the bed over and over again, unable to sleep. I was wondering and I felt very nervous about the event which was going to take place the next day. I cradled myself to sleep. I kept picturing myself breathing heavily during the race and pushing myself. I woke up the next day feeling uncertain, still indecisive whether to run anot. I decided that I wanted to run because i didn't want to betray my character traits... I make my way hastily to MacRitChie Reservoir with Mei Xuan together with me in my dad's car. I guess as I was too nervous and confused, i messed up my digestive system and I needed the toilet several times. I tried to calm myself there when the upper sec girls were called to prepare ourselves. We headed to the starting line and phew* I was pretty nervous... while on way there, I confided in Pei Wen and I told her I was very scared. She gave me advice and encouragement, thereby, i regained my confidence of myself. Thanks, Goh Pei Wen! The race began... I was thinking consistently the whole race...I thought that this race was going to be like a life battle or race, facing ups and downs. The whole journey of running was very memorable. A guy called Aidan told me to enjoy the race and I heeded his advice. I came out first and I felt very happy... however, i was not the overall champ... Too bad... Then, these days i keep on chatting with ben online... I can't understand him... really... sometimes, his nick is so weird I wonder whether he is implying to me anot... Er... I'm tired.. going off now.. see ya..

hmm.. I'm back to update you after a long long time... I've been very pressured and stressed this week, worst than the exam period. Everyone is telling me that I am going to top the level this year in the cross-country this friday. I hate it man.. Every year, it's the same old thing... Everyone tells me that they want to run with me and then blah blah blah... I'm not even certain I would be able to run this friday because I've hurt my tail bone because of ... (u want to know, ask me) I'm taking things too hard, i guessed. This is the last year I will be able to run cross-country, so i guessed I'd be running and I want to get the huge shiny bowl trophy. I'm so sad this mid-year... I didn't do as well as I expected this mid-year. Then, there they are gossips around me of not doing well. Oh people! Do you think that human dosen't face ups and downs?! Today, during the netball meeting, I realized how much I have changed from the eenie miney girl the month I entered secondary school to this crappy girl and hopefully chio... hahas... bhb.. I feel that I'm stupid, however, as the saying goes, if you never think that you are stupid, you will never be... I don't even know where am I heading.. poor me... I'm searching for an aspiration to spark my goal. I don't want to be one who lives for the moment, it's pointless. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Sigh... then today, Ms Lim said that she might not be in school next year. I am almost devastated... As you know, I'm not one who will express my feelings and expression in front of you if something is going wrong... I am a hypocrite... I am... I am learning to be my real self. Oh guys, please help me to change. I am also learning to admit my mistakes and learn from it. I want to feel as if I've been reborn... hahas... lame. Oh... what am i suppose to do? Somebody help me... I am too weak to do anything now... even sitting and standing up is a problem to me. Sigh... This is the saddest blog that i've ever written since my teenage life...

hmm... yesterday my dad took my sister to IMM to buy mp3 player, creative one somemore... so biased... very nice, the mp3 player... now listening to it. I don't know whether I should go out later, I have not bought my mei's(amanda) birthday present. I'm again going broke... sigh... need some good money management for myself. Tomorrow, I am going receive my exam papers... very tense up now reminscing about it. I think I'm going to fail my a maths paper, although the front few qns i can attempt, the back few pages I fail to do them. Aw... I want to go exercising... I can't wear my jeans already, I'm fat fat already... sigh... hope netball trainings shall begin soon... tonight I'm going to do some aesthetics... tone my body alittle...

hmm... bloggie.. so drowsy now, I just took some painkiller to relieve my pain, not so bad now... I went to the doctors' earlier this morning, doctor said I hurt my tail bone and she made me do an x-ray, just as I thought laa... idiotic lah... erm... tomorrow maybe I'm going to go and play bball with eric, haas... so bored! Ahhh!!!

dearrie... bloggie... I haven't been updating u for a longgg timeee... Hmm.. many things have taken place. I'm a little awe of them. I don't know why Mabel hasn't been talking to me since Tues. I wondered why, she always sit behind in class to do her self-study and she don't come in-front to study with us, then I think is she feels that I am joining another group to study instead of her and that's why she's mad at me. These few days, she walks past me without a greeting of "hi". This is what that saddens me... I don't understand her enough, I guess... What can I do, I smsed her she don't reply. I'm afraid if I call her house and ask for her, I'm dumbfounded of words. My teenage life is so empty without her laughter... Btw, cross-country is approaching and I'm putting much pressure on myself to top the level this year... I'm going to start jogging next week. However, It's dependent on my back... remember mabel hurt my back, the tail bone.. I'm going for checkup tomorrow to check what's wrong with the tail bone. It hurts when i sit down or stand up, and it's getting serious... so I'm going to the doctors'...

hmm... i'm pretty sad today... tomorrow's my english paper... and i'm here updating you bloggie. Erm... Don't really know what to write inside you... I was actually quite sad when I came to write u, but somehow... i felt there wasn't a need to. I shoudn't be torturing myself with thoughts like that... Hmm, after the exams I'm intending to train full intensity... I love sports so much.... I want to play and sweat myself out... even though it's endurance training... harhar.. endurance maybe once in a while? Hmm... I feel like going downstairs my flat and take a deep breath of the moonlight's wisp of air... the stressed part has not yet been arrived at... next week I'd have to study full intensity for my other important subjects especially a maths and e maths...