I don't know why but you have been so much a part of my life that I don't know how to continue without you. It's been only a few months that we began hanging out like this so often, I want us to be the best of friends until we all grow old and haggard. And I hope that happens :)

My head hurts alot right now. I don't know how to head for work tomorrow. Dear God, please make me a stronger person and give me more faith.

All of a sudden, I miss debbie and the clique. Sometimes, I wished we all never grow up to face the harsh reality of life. I want to be like peter pan. :(

`it's the sunshine after all the rain, i hope.

Work today was hideous. Everything was bad, there were so much work to do and all I could think of was nothing else but all that happened over the previous night. First, my mind was so preoccupied with all that crap that happened and second, there were so many bloody samples to manage all by myself. It pushed me to the brink that I broke down in the toilet at the office. Imagine all that pride I had to keep aside when my colleagues found me in the toilet like that. It was totally embarrassing. Anyway, I hope tomorrow will be a better and brighter day. It's the weekends the day after tomorrow. I really need a break.

Then it occurred to me that she really didn't bothered anymore. I was crying so badly in the toilet and I badly needed to talk to her to make me feel at ease again yet when I called her, she did not answer. Where were you everytime I needed you? I know clearly how seldom I need someone this badly cause I tell myself to be strong everytime something bad happens. You tell me to not lock myself up in this shell of mine, yet when i'm trying to open up to you, you just don't bother. I'm so lost, I don't want to share anymore. I guess things would be just fine like how it was in the past when I just kept everything to myself.

I don't see the reason of all that's happened. I keep questioning myself what have I done wrong. I just don't understand, I really don't. Whose ... Ugh, I don't know why am I saying all these here. It's not going to make any difference.

I'm so confused. I need to go to do a sport. Oh god, tell me what to do ... I need to get on.

Oh god. I miss michelle alot right now. I don't know what's up with me these few days, just been having these irritating mood swings back and forth. I have to get away from this, fly away and do something I really enjoy doing. I am hurting more and more each day, and I wonder why. It's as if I can never be satisfied with myself. Ugh. I need something to cover the pain and block it, filter it away. And I know just what's that 'filter'. It's going to be just a temporary one, I know. I don't want to do this. I can't help it.

Anyway, below are the photos from last weekend's outing with michelle. Apparently, I don't know why the both of us didn't take a photo together though. hahaha. I miss you, ah worm. Cheers! :)