Today was purely a very lazy day for me. I cleaned my hamster's cage again. They were naughty again, messing up their home once every fortnight. Oh well, they should be glad they have such a loving owner. haha. Hms. I watched plenty of television today, slept a little and out I went to meet up with debbie.

I met debbie at compass point at 3.45 pm. She was with terence and xue yuan, which was kind of weird. Hms. We walked around compass, playing the arcades and reading books at the popular bookstore. Time passed swiftly, and soon I had to head home. We saw Mdm Phua in compass too and crappie debbie promised her that we would walk home with her when I was in a rush for time. I walked home alone eventually. ): haa.

i think i am falling for you;

but i'm afraid of doing so;

i'm insecure;

and i can't help it;

i need that much needed confidence;

but i don't see it in you;

tell me what should i do;

shall you?

great. I had a good time outside today. I went orchard with phelan and we did lots of stuff together. haha. The worst thing was I met several familiar faces there and these people mistaken us of being together. One of them came to talk to me and later ended with "hey, your boyfriend has walked away". Truth was otherwise. haha. Hms. But it was fun. We watched Dreamgirls even though I thought that it was a boring movie.

okay. this is a recap of what we did today. the both of us arranged to meet up at 12 noon at dhoby ghaut. then we went to cineleisure where we booked our tickets first. thereafter, we walked around orchard. at 2 pm, we dined in at suki sushi where we ate to our fill. i wanted to puke after that. ahaa. catched our movie and went home thereafter.

haha. Today's fun. haha. I experienced something which I had never experienced before. haha. Only ame knows about it. haha. And I felt rather happy after that. Quite weird of me huh. haha. Yup. That's all for today. haha.

I miss the JACM and debbie. ahaha.

` cheeki-ness envelops me. haha.

It was a usual sunday today. opps, it's past midnight already. nehmind. haha. hms. I've been bothered by a nonsensical guy from friendster recently. He keeps asking me to send my picture over to his mobile. Sickening guy. What irks me is that his name reminds me of a person who has been etched inside me for a lifetime I guess. I don't feel like talking to him, AT ALL. Sigh.

oh. tomorrow's going to be a fun day after all. I'm going to spend my time with somebody! Hees. Phelan! haha. Well, I don't know what I'm up to somehow. I don't even know what I want. Yup. Hopefully, I can get out of the house without being suspected. haha. uh oh. I've to meet him at orchard. shittie. i don't know how to get there. shi jing .... aw. okay. I've a photographic memory. ((:

I've been busy helping this soon-to-be couple that I have tire myself out. I'm going to lay back and rest now. I give you two my best wishes. Aw. I'm so tired man. crap.

oh ya. terence wants a column for him here. it's like he has waited all his life just to see his name here. haha. okay. what should I write? I seriously have no idea. Thanks for being a nice friend though. haha. But I think you seriously should blend more with the guys and minimise sticking with us, deb and me. haaha. we're les so please do not break us up. haha. oh but I heard from deb you have became her les-mate too? haha. when did you changed your sex? haha. okay. this is so crappie. haha. And oh ya. I think you'll like my next sentence. I think I am beginning to like you as a friend. ((: haha. anyway, you have been a good friend all these years except _____. yup. okay. see ya. i'm tired.

True Lyrics
by Ryan Cabrera

I wont talk

I wont breathe

I wont move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think I dont look

But deep inside

In the corner of my mind

Im attached to you

Im weak

Its true

Cuz im afraid to know the awnsers

Do you want me too?

Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life

To cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You dont know what you do

Everytime you walk into the room

Im afraid to move

Im weakIts true

Im just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you

The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

Today's outing with bai lin and danny the group, was alright. Even though the girls had some miscommunication with the guys several times. haha. There were only three girls which include myself, ame and debbie. hees. I took plenty of pictures of ame while she was caught unaware. haha. She whacked me several times. Ouch. haha. But still, the pictures looked hilarious. She thought that they were nice, because it was her. haha. Idiot ame. haha. Oh ya. The three of us dropped by tampines mall in the morning. And I took pictures of a pair of kissing fishes. They were so sweet and cute! haha. How I wished I were them. haha.

Even though it was a fairly tiring day of walking, I had a joyous time with ame and debbie. Stupid debbie and ame. We were all so childish. haha. Firstly, we sat at ya kun coffeeshop to eat a little and we began snapping pictures of each other non-stop! haha. Then debbie told us that some game in her phone could compete with terence's so ame played it with me. She kept screaming whenever she hit the kerbs and when she lost to me. haha. She lost to me 3 times at least! haha! Then there we were on the escalator poking each other and I pushed ame's head down that she nearly hit the steps. haha. But my voodoo charm broke. Thank god I've fixed it. hees. I think I was the siao-est girl in the group today. haha. I guessed it was to cover up for something unhappy within me. haa.

aw ... This is utterly dumb of me. My friends in SRJC asked me to head back to school tomorrow when I have withdrew. It would be so dangerous for me. It's like a pig entering the slaughtering ground. Urgh. Darn it. Crap. And I have given my word to magdalene. URGH!!!

Oh. I went back to punggol sec today to help ame with her testimonial or something. We seeked mrs lau's expertise. Yup. Hms. I came to a conclusion. Ame has totally forgotten her vocabulary bank! Such a chicken. haha. A few hours later, jonas dropped by the school too. All of us chatted about our social lives. haha. Somebody is interested in somebody!!! haha. And I'm the matchmaker. Heh heh. Haha. We played a prank on some people today. Hees. Shi jing was one of the victims. haha. She sounded so lost over the phone. haha. haha.

My eyes are failing me! I'm going blind very soon. Very soon. Sigh. I have got four bottles of eye drops. Oh. While I was in the public bus this afternoon, I caught my eyes on some scribblings at the back of the seats. It was a poem or something. Here's it:

A rose I'll surrender;

to you who's a wonder;

in my life;

there's no one greater

You I'll remember;

every second, every hour;

this poem I deliver;

i await your answer ...

Hms. It dosen't quite connect but I still think it's a nice one. I want to go sentosa!!!

tee hee. I'm so happy now. I have officially withdrew from SRJC. Although it's kind of upsetting too. I am gonna miss my cat. high guy, my friends and the teachers and the babes and the dudes. Urgh. Uh oh. Life still has to go on ... Nothing unusual happened today. Haha. But my friends gave me hugs before I hopped away from school. So nice of them huh. Hms. ): but i like hugs. hees.

crap. I initially changed a blogskin which was much cuter than this one but it screwed up on me. Well, this one is more intricate and mysterious. haha. I liked it too. The next two weeks will be enjoyment for me. Heh heh. Perhaps I'll catch up on reading books and literature. I miss composing new stuff. wa ha ha ha. I want to go beach-ing! sun-tanning! v-balling! urgh. Everyone's just so busy lately. ):

happy = sad i don't know the difference now

somebody make me happy?

if only i knew the difference for once;

let me make the change forever;

never will you know how i feel now;

cos' you never will know how it's like to be

just like me.

`phelan, my next beau.

Today was fun. I went visiting for the first time in my life at my friend's place. Haha. I collected a hong bao from terence's mum. haha. She was a really nice woman la. She gave ten bucks. (: haha. $$$. haha. nice woman. haha. Soon after visiting at terence's house, we went over to shi jing's house. I had tons of fun with them. Laughed like mad, until my guts were aching badly.

Thinking of something right now, it brings me to a topic. It's such a contradiction. At the very beginning, I saw you as an obstacle to my friendship between me and her. In the process, I slowly saw your existence. In the end, I saw the true side of you- the beautiful side of you. And it's hard to resist it now. Yet, all of us are going our own separate ways. Our individual routes. This is life. There are regrets and experiences one can learn from. For me, I regret not opening up my true self for you all to see and understand. Now that we have graduated from school, it's a real pity. Not knowing the real you and whatnot. We're drifting further apart now. It feels distant and hollow whenever I see you. Okay. I can't express my thoughts really well. I shall stop here.

`feel the wrath of my real identity

Uh oh. I woke up quite late this morning. I didn't felt like doing any much so I decided to blog a little. I have to clean the hamster's home later. So chicken. I have been washing them once every week now. They are so naughty especially the fat one, messing up the cosy home. Crap. This is so lame. Urgh. I think I had better hurry clean them and head out for a spin or some fun. I feel so bad now.

I am home alone now. Usually when I'm alone, I start thinking of things which used to occupy my mind most of the time. However this time, I am doing otherwise. I think I have grown up but people think otherwise. Or perhaps I never did grew up. I'd always lived in my own little world where nobody could enter and feel the real me. I am odd somehow. Laughing eases the soul. Hms. Urgh. This is an irony.

urgh. how am I going to blog when there's like so many msn users talking to me? stupid orange blinkies. hate them. urgh! crap.

Hms. I haven't been blogging for ages, come to think of it. Chinese new year in Malaysia was alright and pretty awesome. My uncle let off several fireworks and stuff. It was beautiful yet perennial as I get to see it every year, the same old lights and sparks. We played lots of poker as well, stakes were only as high as 50 cents sing dollar. haha. I'm a stingy girl. I also played with doggies. I played catching with them and I scared the hell out of me. Darn it. The black Doberman dog was so tall and huge when it stood up and it chased after me in the back yard. I was running like some mad girl. I also carried and smooched my baby nephew. He was so adorable. Hees. Okay. So this is what has been happening recently.

In addition, I got really close to my JC friends too. Especially one guy in my class. haha. Uh oh. ya. He's a nice guy anyway. Out of the point anyway. Life has been mundane and boring lately. I've got to draft some letter real quickly to send in to the junior college for my withdrawal from school. I'm feeling quite upset lately. I can not wear contact lenses for the time being as I have some allergy towards them. Crap. My eyes are so dreary nowadays, they hurt big time. Urgh. I'm tired. Got to stop blogging now.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

oh gosh, this is going to be the toughest night I am ever going to conquer in my entire life. Cold sweat keeps breaking out behind my neck that it's making sick. I have never felt so serious and worried about something. And I saw something which indicated bad omen for me! Urgh. Haha. (:

I am officially out of SRJC next week. I am going to get my dad to fax the withdrawal letter to the school next week. I am going to miss my dear teachers, friends and the food over there. I feel really bad for not informing my teachers about my leave from school. They were really nice to me since day one. And my friends, we are all going separate paths. I really hate such scenarios, it just seems so upsetting. Like gloomy clouds overlooking the sky above us. I AM GOING TO MISS YOU ALL AND SRJC! oh gosh, I feel a sudden hot burning sensation over my cheeks. )):

This year's valentine day is a lonely one, however it brought me new perspectives of certain issues I failed to see in the past as I'll be spending it with my loved ones for the first time. Haha. It sounds wrong but it's a fact. haha. I am so bored now pondering over my results tomorrow. Crap. My limbs are cold again. Let me warm them with my lovely blanket later. haha.

Alright. EVERYBODY RECEIVING YOUR O LVL RESULTS TMR, I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK IRREGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE.

Darn it. I'm down with a bad stomach ache now. It's so hurting that I think I want to skip school tomorrow. Crap. Well, anyway I'll be leaving SRJC very soon right after the o level results are out next week. I am so gonna miss this beautiful school man. Sigh. I am going to miss shu yi, shi yuan, mag, agnes, joanne and many more people. I am just going to miss these cute lil things. haha. Sounds wrong. haha. And finally, I am going to miss my eyecandy! This is crap. Sigh.

uh oh. I have got the road race held at MacRitChie Reservoir this coming saturday. And obviously I'm in no condition to run this competitive race with 149 fit others! Crap. I am going to skip the run anyway. I kind of dislike running competitively lately. ((: hees. Or I would rather say my stamina has dropped? haha. Well, I have been training though.

It's mei xuan's birthday celebration at a chalet tomorrow. I am so busy, so bloody busy. Darn it. And coming the next day, I have got to decide what I want to do. I'm in a fix man. However, I have come to a decision somewhat. (:

` i misss you, eyecandy!