Hello. I spent an hour reading again but anyways the book was too difficult to resist. Ha. I will be heading overseas the day after. I'm going to attend a mourning because my aunt just passed away from cancer. Sometimes as I see people leaving us one by one just like that, I ponder about my life and my family. Why does everything in the world just ends in the same way? And I also wonder why there are sadness, hatred and unhappiness in the world. Arrghh. I'll just forget about it. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. I'll just live life the way I want it. Ha. *Screams. I want to play netball ! ! ! Ms teoh forbade me from getting back on the court yesterday though I proved to her I can still walk after falling and straining my ankle. It was so frustrating for me. There I was anticipating to be put in the game, and there my coach was giving my position to my team-mate. Sigh. Alrights, me signing off now.

Hello. Basically, my entire morning was filled up by netball friendlies. It was actually going to be a fulfilling day for me however everything has to turn negative for me. Sigh. I arrived at kallang this morning with my team-mates promptly. We slazed around for fifteen minutes before we began warm-up. Ms Lim arrived and well, she hasn't changed alot. She looked very solemn to me thus i didn't thought of speaking to her. Ha. Anyway, after the warm-up, the game against Tanjong Katong Girls' began. I was playing as the GK. Then there was this GS whom I always quite admire from the past because she got into the second round of the Under 14 selections when I went for the selections at 13? Ya. I played with her and I thought it was very challenging. I observed her first. The very first try she tried to get a lob and I let her be. The second time she tried for a lob, I was determined to get it. Ha. I always observe my oppenents first before I attempt to beat them at their weakness. I know my weakness and that is I am rooted to the ground. And also being not too agile. I will improve on it. Yes! There will be a netball carnival on the 8th Jan and it's at kallang! I guess so. Ha. I hope I can stretch my stamina. I think I will do skipping at home because i have limited equipments. Ha. Ya. I have to collect my IC soon! Hees. Actually I could have collected it anytime this week. Ha. I guess I'm just plain forgetful. Alrights, I'm signing off here. Ha.
Oh ya, here's a little space for lil erica. Thanks for your surprising present. I really didn't knew there was a doll inside of the jar filled with stars. Hees. You really never fail to surprise me with your gifts. Ha! Okie, you must hug the lil cookie monster I gave you. I spent alot on it. Ha. Okie. Take care. =)

Hello. I did plenty of shopping today. I went shopping with my elder sister! It was rather tiring. Firstly, we went to Bugis and she began looking for her boyfriend's xmas gift, I though it was kind of late already. Ha. She went into many shops and I was so tired tagging behind her. Ha. After 2 hours of walking and shopping, we ended up with nothing. She was so frustrated with herself that she kept wailing to me. It was getting frustrating for me then. Ha. Then we headed to Heeren and Far East. It was strenuous for my legs. I just kept walking and walking. Ha. Phew. I'm sleepy now. I will update again after my friendly match tomorrow. Good night.

Hellos. Yesterday was Christmas day! Well, just like it has been for the past 15 years, it was as usual boring. There was nothing done to celebrate this occasion in my household. However, I'm so glad to have bestfriends. I'm going to have gift exchanges with Mei xuan and they all. Most importantly, I'm having gift exchange with Erica! Ha! Last night, I went down to the badminton court just below my flat to play a game of badminton with my sister. It was a game of endurance. I was running crazily around the court with my sister serving at different directions. Most importantly, I learnt that I could very well enjoy my lil sister's company. We were laughing endlessly at our mistakes in the court. Well, my sister was super hyper and she didn't seem to be the least tired or exhausted during the 40 mins game. We played throughout. My tee was soaking wet. I had a nice workout, I thought. Haa. However, I guess I shouldn't have played crazily because after the game, I felt a tinge of pain in my right ankle. I guess it has not recovered entirely yet. Anyway, I am all well and fine this morning. Alrights, me signing off now.

Hellos. Happy Merry Christmas in advance! Today's christmas eve and I'm spending it by sitting by my computer and updating my blog now. I went out with my parents to Parkway Parade earlier. You can say I'm feeling very fed up now. I could have just stayed home all day or head out with Mei xuan or anything but go out with my parents. It seemed like I'm the only daughter of this family. My younger sister went to Orchard to count down while my elder sister went to meet up with her boyfriend. It's real frustrating okie. Well, you can say I'm leading a boring life. That said, I would rather head out to do anything than stay lurking around my dad. Something happened in the car earlier when we were coming back from the shopping malls. My dad was driving when this car overtook him without him realizing and both of the cars nearly collided. It was a close shave. He was so mad that he kept swearing and yelling in the car with vulgarities that I thought that I had a crazy father. I really wonder what would happen to him if he meets up with a gangster driver. He sure would be beaten to a pulp by swearing at the other driver. And when that happens, I don't want to give a damn. The only thing I will do then is to save more money as he would be hospitalised, causing his job to be at stake. Hmms, last night I was like chatting with Siew hong over msn. She told me all her problems. I mean I'm not in her position, I won't understand it. I wished ms lim would be back soon to help her in her decision-making. She wants to step down as the vice-captain. As you know, she has been doing alot of work ever since ms lim left the team. Someone who keeps on doing her stuffs and dosen't get the right recognition will definitely be upset. Sigh. I'm quite troubled over this matter too. Nevermind, we will stay positive together. Fight this battle!
Hmms, here's a little space for lil erica. Aiyo, I went to Parkway Parade to find a lil prezzie to enhance your main prezzie. However, sad to say, there are very few shops related to what I wanted to get for you. Thus, I ended up with nothing on the way back. Haa. But don't worry la. I got it all prepared for you already. Haa. I'm so dog-tired now. I feel like dropping on my bed and sleep till morning dawn. Ooh. Then I can exercise at that period. Haa. I'm nuts. Alrights, me signing off.

Hellos. Today is basically a boring day. I spent an hour reading an interesting book, was glued to it. I'm still bothered over my performance at Springfield yesterday. I keep on pondering over it. I need to do something about it. Remember I'm seeking fulfilment everyday? My task is failing me. Sigh. I feel so upset. This afternoon while I was watching the television, there was this scene where a son got slapped by his father. It flashed some memories across my brain. I began feeling very angry while reminscing everything. The thing was the son punched his father back. I wished I could have done that at that point of time. I cannot forget the incident. Everytime I'm alone and dreamy, I would start thinking back. It is very torturous for me. I wished there were trainings daily, so I don't have to face my father at all. It's not that I really hate him to the core. I don't know how to describe it. There's a tinge of hatred, that kind of thing you know. I feel so not at peace with myself lately. Sigh. Forget about it. I must enjoy my weekend this time. The ho ho ho! weekend. Haa. Ya. Trying to stay positive. Me signing off.

Hellos. Today we had a friendly match with Springfield Sec. I did not perform to my utmost during the matches. I'm so frustrated with myself all along during the game. The GS was very agile and quick reactive, I could not keep up with her. She kept moving about in the goal-circle, wearing me down. Let me recall my mistakes.
1. I had alot of wrong timings in intercepting the ball
2. I was not looking at both the ball and the oppenent
3. I was very rooted to the ground.
Lastly, I have poor stamina and slow reaction!
Well, I don't know how did I react at the raffles' games one. Sigh. I guess I have to be more determined. I'm practising on my jumping these few days by jumping and skipping about. Haa. Next, I need to focus on my timing. I need more precision. Alrights, I'm taking my mind out the court now.
After the game, we went to tampines mall for lunch! Had Long John Slivers! It rocks man. Hees. Then met erica there too. My team-mates kept on laughing at him till he malu. Haa. Anyway, I got him an xmas prezzie already. Very cute one okie. Haa. Hmms, I need to train up on my stamina. I want to go jogging and do timing? No la, taking my timing is very torturous one. Hees. I will see how. My knee and ankle is still under maintenance*. I need to rest and recover soon. However, I'm not slacking this weekend. Skipping and jumping! Hees. Ya. That's the way. I must stay positive! Me signing off.

Hellos. I'm quite boiling mad today as something real idiotic happened to us at queensway. Anyway, I bought my netball shoes already. It's $96. Okie, this is it. Today Siew hong, Chew ling, Amanda and myself went to Queensway to purchase our shoes except siew hong. On our trip there, we chatted and had lots of fun. Phew, I'm real sleepy now. Okie, then we arrived there after a strenuous one hour of changing transports. We were like walking around there looking for the best price we can get for a pair of gel pivot 2. Then we walked into this shop with an Indian shopkeeper and alot of his employees, who are mainly Indians. Anyway, the shop is called SAH sports centre. There was this young Indian man who served us. We were looking for the gel pivot 2 and we asked about its price. He said $103 or something. We thought it was more expensive than any other shops in Queensway shopping centre. We were about to walk out when the man asked us what is our budget and what kind of shoes we are looking for. We told him netball and the budget was under $100. He told us we shouldn't look for asics shoes with a hundred dollar budget. I thought he was lame. We then told him we needed shoes for netball. He introduced us another pair of shoes which was what the volleyballers in our school were using. He told us it was $79 and that it was the cheapest around there and if we could get the same pair of shoes under that price, he would give us a free pair. That was the most dumbest thing I have ever heard from a shop attendant. Amanda ignorantly went to the other nearby shop and asked for the identical pair and we found out that we could easily get the identical pair under $79. She then went back to the previous store and began negotiating with the boss since the young guy who attended to us earlier wasn't there anymore. She told the boss everything and the boss was speaking to us until he stupidly said, " I give you $69," and then added " $55" We asked him how about the gel pivot 2, the one we wanted and he said $55. Now thinking back . . . How dumb can he be. Although I know he is fooling around with us but it was real dumb of him. Siew hong hurriedly said she wanted three pairs then. The shopkeeper then said no more stock, wait till tommorrow. Siew hong then asked for the displayed one. He told us he only had one shoe of the pair there. Idiot right . . . I feel like slapping that man on the face now. Anyways, iLOVEmygelpivot2!
Now .. . Here's a little space for little erica! Hmms, I went to Queensway today and tried looking for a suitable present for you but to no valid. Haa. Actually I wanted to get you a tee, however, I didn't know your size! You looked so skinny. How to buy for you. Haa. Ya, thankfully I got the presents for my two other friends. But, don't worry! I will get you a present that is nice. Haa. I cannot say I will get you a present that you like. Wa ha ha ha. Okie la, I'm very sleepy now. But not sleeping yet. Hees. This entry for you is longer than the previous one right? Hees. Good night, lil erica! Me signing off.

Hellos. I'm not really satisfied with myself today. Well, today we had a full-day training. It was super tiring but enriching. I wished there were more of such events. To cut it short, we played with cedac the entire morning. The very first match I had with them was not very pleasant for me. I felt very uncertain about the game, not as confident or determined to get the ball as the previous time. Then came the second match, I know I wasn't going to perform well either. Well, maybe I must say my mistakes are eating into me. Then finally came the fourth match. I was very determined to do my stuffs then. I simply told myself to do my thing. I was rather satisfied in that match only. The rest that was to come was not very fulfilling for me. Hmms, in today's match, I realized that I wasn't as determined or aggressive to get the ball. Or I would rather say I needed to improve on my communication with mabel. No one's perfect as the saying goes. I need more improvement. I'm very tired now but I know I didn't give out my utmost in today's match. I'm dissapointed in myself. After that, we had pizzas for lunch. It was super hilarious la. We played games to finish the food. Alot of people got sabo except me, see I'm so lucky! Hees. Then the second part of training began. It was fun! However, I was very lethargic already. Disappointing la today. I must outperform myself in thursday's match at springfield! I must promise myself. Aiyo, then just now I hit ms teoh in the face. Feeling so apologetic towards her. I keep on bumping into her in court. Haa.
Okie, here's a little space for little erica! Aw. I'm so eager to see the hp accessory! Hees. Aiyo, I'm very sleepy now la. I will write a longer entry for you the next time okie. Remind me okie. I'm stopping here. Me signing off.

Hellos. I had a enjoyable morning. Hees. My mom had to head to work at 2 pm today thus I could spend the enitre morning with her. I really missed thise times when she always took me along when she headed to somewhere. Wells, this morning my mom wanted to go to the prime-mart and she asked me along. Then I was like chatting with her on the way there like we used to, it was so fun. It felt just like I was a young kid. I guess I have not grown out of it. I am very attached to my mom. Haa. Yay~! I will be having training or a friendly match tomorrow. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly. I will pray tonight. Hees. And also hopefully ms teoh is safely back in s'pore by now or later. I don't want anything untowards to happen to my loved ones. Especially the team and my family and hmms, little erica. Haa. Me signing off.

Hellos. I plainly wasted my entire day. Actually, I thought of heading to Tampines mall for some xmas shopping but when I got there, I thought twice about it. I lost my mood for christmas shopping. There were so many people there, it was so crowded. As you know, I hate crowded places. So I have lost the festive mood, what I did there was plainly window shopping. It was rather boring. However, you can say I gained some ideas for xmas prezzies. Hees. Yay~! I was like looking around the shops for some reasonably nice ear studs. I eventually bought one from the 'Helen' shop. I'm simply sleepy now. I just want to doze off on my sweetie bed right at this moment. I guess I won't be going online already. Sorry, little erica~!
Here's a little space for little erica. Hehs. Yesterday's video conference over msn was chic. Haa. You looked so cute hiding under your blanket with your large eyes looking out. You looked like a cookie monster! Haa. Ya. You say you cut your hair already but I don't see much difference. Hees, maybe because I haven't been meeting you lately thus I forgot your previous hairstyle. Haa. I was shopping today for xmas prezzies when I came across a little soft-toy just like your terrier dog, it was cute! Hees. Ya. Hmms, I'm still wondering what to get for you. How would you like an Adidas perfume(colange), what do you call that? Haa. Ya. So many ideas yet so little time. Hees. Alrights, I'm dead-tired. Me signing off.

Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person! Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense What you bring to relationships: Honesty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Hellos. Today was basically a boring day. There were no outings. I actually intended to head for a jog earlier on however the weather was unfavourable towards me. Sigh. I am still brooding over what happened yesterday. I will never forget it since it happened twice. I actually tried to forget about it since the first time. Hmms, I'm trying to look for a suitable blogskin to fit my mood now. I really wished there was netball training now, or at least for today. I'm so addicted to training. Wells, maybe I just missed the atmosphere I have at trainings, with everybody laughing and joking. I really love the atmosphere and activities. Sometimes I really wonder whether I'm happy being in this family, so many things have happened and I'm really stressed being in this family. I want a getaway. I would rather spend my entire day at school for trainings than stay at home during a weekend. It's getting from bad to worse. My weekends ain't any good. It's become to such an extent that I somehow detest heading home for weekends nowadays. Well, maybe I should head out with my friends during the weekends and just plainly ignore the family. I'm practically sicked of this. Some people might think that I'm washing dirty linen in public. I'm telling some foul tales about my family. But this is just my life. I'm having a hard time growing up now. And I'm only 15. Sigh. Alrights, me signing off. Staying Positive~!

Hellos. Yesterday was my dearest mommy's birthday. However, sad to say, it was another upset day. And this hatred within me is growing.
Yesterday was actually a very fruitful day. My mom took me out to Bishan to trim my hair slighty short and also to get her birthday cake or shop. After trimming my hair and paying $18, we headed to junction 8 to shop. On the way there, my mom bought several clothes at the nearby shops outside. Then we got into the shopping mall and my mom began searching frantically for the shop u2, because she had a $15 voucher to spend. We found the shop and she asked me to select some jeans. My clothes exceeded $100 man. Then we headed home. My dad was ill after coming back from china and my mom had to buy the cake herself when she's the birthday woman. How pathetic is this! Anyways, we headed home with my dad coming to Bishan to fetch us. My mom's dinner was at home. They went to buy cooked dishes from hawker centres and they brought them home. There were crabs too. After the dinner, I felt bored as there was nothing much to do and I keep on thinking of playing with the netball. Thus, I made a stupid mistake. I asked my younger sister to throw the ball to me while I ran around the living room. Dumb of me, right? She unskilfully throw into a bowl of soup on the dining table which spilled all over the floor. My mom came out and she began yelling at us but she cleared the area up. After that, I made an apology card to my mom and I think she forgave me. Then it was time for her to cut her cake. My elder sister wasn't at home yet and my mom refused to blow the candles as she thought that her daughters had no heart for her at all. At that time, it was already 9 pm plus. My mom cried as she blew the candles, the scene was very saddening. I cried myself too. I felt the pain for my mom. She left the living room for her room. My dad stood there and he said something which made me boiol up and swear that I would never forgive him again. At first, he said that my little sister was a liar or something say she will come back home at certain time but is nowhere to be seen. Then he began with my elder sister too saying she bluff the parents or something. Then he got to me but he stampered. He got nothing to say about me. However, he forced out saying "You I don't know," and "You answered back at me all the time" And I was like what the hell. It has since been two whole weeks since I have answered back at him particularly since the day he slapped me. I was so mad that I cried. I was here trying to change and he was there still saying about it last night. Wells, I have changed. How about him?! Yesterday while I was in the car and he was driving, a car went close to him and he yelled out the F*** word. I was stunned when I heard it and I told myself that this man have not change. I really detested him when he blurted out that word. I had already indicated in the previous entries that a man who shows no respect for himself earns no respect of mine. And with this, I will not forgive him till he has changed. And till he has changed, the hatred inside me is continually brewing to blow up one day. I don't care who he is even if he is my father. I don't give a damn. Me signing off.

Hellos.
Bascially, today was another boring training day. My ankle is recovering relatively fast, I guess I sprained a muscle in my ankle or something. It is recovering quickly. What I am afraid now is that I will get a sore throat next tuesday because I think I'm having an ulcer in my throat now. It hurts when I swallow. I'm so unlucky, wells I will just stay positive. I will write about my training today. There were 10 people who arrived for training, out of 2 who were ill and me myself who was injured. However, I'm not useless. I feeded the team several balls. Hees. At least I'm of some use. I hate slacking around unless I'm sleepy or tired. Then there was the benches part. I had to feed siew hong and her group the balls before they landed. It was boring though. Haa. The only funny part was seeing chew ling swing her arms aimlessly trying to get up onto the bench. Haa. I laughed at her till ms teoh walked over to me and gave me a stare of is it so funny look. Hees. I'm feeling so guilty, my team are doing benches and I can't even jump. This is so sickenening man. I hate to slack behind lately. I mean I used to be very slow. Haa. Oh man. I'm so eager to get back on court and display or practise my skills again. I'm afraid that I might lose the . . . oh man, I have limited vocabulary. Then ms teoh, amanda and mabel is going to Genting. I have been there like umpteen times that I know the place in my heart. Drats. No holiday trips for me this year. I'm so eager to go for a holidays too~! Wells, maybe a trip to somewhere with my bestest friends or team-mates might do good but it's all too late. Fifteen more days before school reopens. I'm doing a countdown here. Haa. iMISStrainings~! I can't wait till tuesday~! Hopefully, I will be all well and fine by then. My team-mates too. And, my coach too. Haa.
Alrights, here's alittle space for little erica~! Haa. Remember I asked you if you could steal something from me, what would you steal? I never thought that you would want to steal my heart! Haa. It's nice of you to say that though. And you know what? You are half-way there in stealing my heart! Isn't that pleasing to your ears too? The bad thing is, holidays are coming to an end and I can't chat with you daily at night like we do now. I don't have the time. I guess that will be the obstacle we will have to overcome. Haa. Okie, me signing off now.
Take Care, people~! I want you all well and in one piece on tuesday. That's the day we will reign as a team!

Hellos~ Aiyo, I just removed the bandage from my ankle this morning. My ankle still hurts man and it's still very weak, I want to go and strengthen it soon. I'm so bored but I have got to stay patient with myself. I want to do so many things when my ankle has recovered. I want to play basketball, netball and go shopping~! I'm so restricted now. Aw~ Like I say, hopefully my ankle would have recovered by next tuesday. Opps. By the way, school's going to reopen again~! It's very soon. Last night, I spent some time reading some of my past entries and I made a conclusion. I was very childish in the past. I was ignorant too. But I got out of it. Then, during yesterday's friendly match, one of my juniors came to tell me I can only perform on the court when I'm angry. She was quite correct. Remember the friendly matches at RGS? The day before the match, I got slapped by my dad. That was why I was so mad and fuming inside resulting in me looking so stern during the games. However, I did my stuffs and got results. Indeed that was my most fulfilling match I have ever had though. I guess there will be more to come for me because I'm still craving for more satisfaction. I want to play in next's tuesday match~! Alrights, me signing off.

Dear bloggie~
I'm feeling very down in the dumps now. Maybe the song I'm listening to presently is affecting my emotions. I once again feel so scared of being out of the team. Out of the school and everything. I love the team so much to simply just let it go like that. I feel so scared and helpless right now. I know that good things do come to an end. I can't stop that. I'm so upset about it. In about less than 3 months or even shorter than that, I will be focusing on my studies instead of netball. I know my duties. Sigh. Why are things sometimes so uncontrollable? I want control~! These bad dreams or visons of me being out of the team is hauting me. Wells, maybe I am thinking too much about it I guess. There's nothing I can do about being out of the team though. I can only seek coaching skills after my o's. No one's life is perfect. But why is my life getting perfect already but ceasing to attain its perfection. Drats. My english language is getting from bad to worse. The year ahead is going to be a tough one. And I'm getting equipped to engage in the battle. There's not much time left. I have to read up on more books before the school's open again.
I feel so sad . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . Sadness sizzles my heart
Confusion and helplessness is one feels
Trying to break out of it
But all ends to nothing


Ha! I have written a poem~! That's how I have been feeling these days. Ah~! I feel much better now. Basically, I want to get back on the court and play my netball. I love netball. I feel passionate about it. I'm logging off now. I'm trying to stay positive about it and I guess I will feel better by not thinking about it. Me signing off.

Hellos~! I was so frustrated with myself yesterday. I don't understand why do bad things keep coming in my way. Wells, I sprained my ankle during yesterday's training. It was a huge issue to me because I'm 'banned' from netball for weeks. Well, maybe a week. I'm an addict to netball, if I don't get to play for a day, I would begin craving for it. Haa. Anyways, I'm so desperate now. I want to jump away. I hurt my stronger ankle, the right one. Sigh. I'm so mad at myself though I know that I didn't want that to happen. It was inevitable. Sigh. I'm so mad~! There will be another friendly match next tuesday and I want to participate in it. Hopefully, my ankle would have recovered. The very thought of me being restricted, I feel like killing myself. Haa. No la, I'm not so siao. However, I'm still burning inside. I want to jump~! I want to intercept balls~!
Last night, I went to see the sinseh. He rubbed my ankle till I cried. The pain was unbearable. I wanted to kick him in the face but his arms were strong and I was helpless in his reach. Haa. Anyways, this morning I woke up only to find my ankle super weak as such I broke my ankle. I couldn't walk at all. I rested my ankle for a while before I headed for the bathroom. The whole process was strenuous man. With my mom who keep on insisting that I rest at home and the bathing part. I had to sit on a stool and elevate my right leg onto a chair. I nearly gave up on coming to see you all today at school. You can say I was very unlucky however I was determined. When I finally finished doing everything and I was about to leave my block( I was downstairs already), it began to drizzle. Now, how unlucky can I be? I was asking myself at that very point of time. I limped briskly to the bus-stop and my bus arrived. I was praying and begging god to stop the rain or else I couldn't get to school at all. However, as determined as I was, I got to school. I heaved a sigh when I managed to get to school. My whole morning was so chaotic. Then I arrived at school, the only scene I saw was ms teoh speaking to the team. After their warm-up and ball-work, shortly after Bishan Park sec arrived at our school. I was so looking forward to the match of the B' div. Then finally, the long-awaited moment arrived. It was the very first match of the B'div against Bishan Park Sec. I wanted so badly to get a close view of the GK and GS area(the goal circle) so I went to sit close to the goal-posts. When I saw elly playing in the game, I felt so dejected. I wanted to play too. For your info, my facial expression is rather difficult to read. When I'm actually very happy, I might not be laughing. And when I'm very upset or sad, I might be laughing away to hide my emotions. Beneath my facial expressions and actions lies a hidden emotion. Sometimes, I don't even know whether I'm happy or sad. I'm just a sad person within I guess. That's why I always prefer to be alone. Haa. But don't leave me alone hor, my team-mates. Because you know I feel so loved when I'm around you all. Hees. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos~! I spent a great afternoon with my family at plaza singapura yesterday. My mom bought me a new jacket from I.P zone and iLOVEit~! Okies, this is going to be a short entry. I will be going for my training soon so I can't type much either. Yay~! There will be training later on. I'm so excited about it. I'm going to learn some more skills~! Yay~! Haa. Alrights, me signing off. I'm feeling kinda urgent to do something now though. Haa.

Hellos. I went to return the blessings of the gods this afternoon at 'I don't know what' street. Hees. I am only aware that it's somewhere near bugis street and OG. At first when I arrived there with my parents, I thought there were going to be alot of people however it was otherwise. We quickly returned the blessings by thanking the gods. Then, my mom took me to the temple just opposite where I was previously to pray again. Haa. We headed to OG to do some shopping later on. However, it was mostly doing my dad's shopping for his formal clothings and all that. I was bored to death, you know~! Besides that, there were so many old people there. Erm, I meant middle-aged people. Arrggh, it's just not my kind of place. It's totally crowded with all kinds of people. I was like standing at a corner watching my dad and mom select a pair of sandals for themselves. It was total boredom okie. I was so bored at the scenario that I decided to observe people. Now, there's one thing you don't know about me. I love observing people, their funny behaviour and some weird too. I began getting mad at my parents. But as you know I love my mom alot, I didn't threw my tantrum at her. I just told her that I regretted coming out with them. She understood me and after quite a while of 'long' shopping for my dad's stuffs, my mom took me up to the second storey where clothes of my age were. However, the first thing she did was taking me to the lingerie section~! Sigh. Anyways, she was looking out for bras to buy for me. You can say I was kind of uninterested because *hehe I didn't really bothered about what kind of bra I wore to places except to posh places. Haa. Joking. Things are getting too personal here. Haa. However, I got interested in getting myself some more sports bra because I guessed I hadn't enough. Haa. Anyway, there was a great sale over there so I just took what was appealing to me. Hees. Yupp. As you all know, there's fire brewing between me and my dad. At least that fire is still brewing in me. Thus, I was always with my mom all the time during the trip out. iLOVEmymom~!
Okie, here's a little space for little erica~! Hees. Thanks for helping me to look out for new stuffs over at queensway. I kept wondering whether I have been bothering you too much. But since you said it wasn't much a bother, *haa I didn't hesitated. Hees. Aiyo. I realized something today or maybe I had realized it a few days ago already. And that is, we have been messaging each other less frequently lately. Sigh. Wells, I guess feelings are fading quickly? Haa. But you are always mr nice guy, I'm always bullying you such as threatening to castrate you or spank you. Haa. Wells, I hope we can get to play basketball soon. I will have to plan again. It was so fun that day. I have to plan it again~! Hees. Alrights, me signing off.

Hellos. Training just barely ended for 24 hours and I'm missing it already. Die la. I wonder what's going to happen to me when cca is suspended after my tournament. Sigh. I have been in deep thoughts lately. I want to get my life on track. However, they have been giving me stresses. I hope that there are at least 15 people present during next week's training. iMISStrainings. Wells, let's just say I miss the team and ms teoh's laughter. I just went to look around www.netball.org.sg, the website. I was looking through when I came across a session about coaching. Wells, maybe after my o's I will go for some courses on that. I must do some planning first. Arrghh. My backside aches badly from the lunges we did during training on thursday. I guess those who did benches yesterday are having thigh and butt aches. Hehs. Hmms, I'm wondering how ms teoh is negotiating the hip-hop dance classes with her friend for us. Yay~! I want to learn dancing~! Haa. But I'm so big-sized. Haa . . . Then ms teoh lei. Haa. No offences here. I have a friendly match with Bishan Park, I think on tuesday next week. I'm hoping to trash them because I heard from mabel that they have lost some of their valuable players. Thus they are weakened. Haa. Wells, maybe not trash but beat them. Alrights, I will update you later on again. I have to head to the temple later with my mom to pray to the gods. Me signing off.

Hellos again. Wells, basically I was feeling very troubled over the team's attendance earlier on. I was so troubled about it. Then I thought about my life . . . I felt pathetic, I wanted to cry. Tears began filling my eyes again. Sigh. But no tear dropped. In less than a year's time, I would be taking my o's. I feel very uptight about it even thinking about it right now. I feel so helpless, like anytime I break down, I'm so afraid no one would be there for me to lend me a helping hand. I know I have many caring friends and I can rely on them anytime however I guess I need the mentally* helping hand. My mind is breaking down. Everyday I try to do some A maths. When I don't understand I will try doing it till I get mad and storm out of my room. That's why I realized I have only attempted the second question. Have you any idea how frustrating is that? Sigh. My greatest obstacle in my life now is A maths, I have to overcome it. Sigh. Practise, practise and more practise. Now it comes to the attendance during netball trainings. Do you people have any idea how frustrating it is to wake up early just to head to school for training with less than a tenth person? It's real frustrating. Like what siew hong said which originated from ms coral lim, Attitude is everything~! I am quite sure some people are sitiing at home slacking while we're having the years of our time training. I'm so sicked of questioning people's conscience. I understand that no one is perfect but please correct your attitude.
Phew~! My house stinks of a stench from outside now. I have no idea what smell is that. It's making me headache. Sigh. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos. I had training this morning again. However today's turnup for training was worse than before. Wells, maybe it was always the same. We began training with a 2 km run around our school. We were made to do benches after that. I was excused from doing it. Yay~! -.-lll Do you how much I yearned to do benches when I saw you all did it. I'm aware of the benefits from doing benches and I wanted to do it too but my stupid knee la. We did several drills then, I could sense that ms teoh was fuming inside because of our mistakes? However, she did not blow up. Haa. Then there was my favourite part of training, the court game. However, after taking a look at the pathetic amount of people who were present, my heart took a dip. I was so sad la. I was depressed by the scene too. Sigh. Why are people so inconsiderant as to crash all those in the team who has aspirations to be future netball nationals? Haa. Being too spastic here. But it's possible. Haa. Ya, I was playing the half-court game. I was defending siew hong and then I raised up my hand to defend the ball from getting to another person. Haa. The hand was in mid-air. Then ms teoh came along to sprint out for a ball when she was stopped in her tracks by my long* hands. Actually is she hit me lor, she ran out and banged into my hand not the other way round. Haa. Anyways, aiya I give in to her la. She say hit then hit lor. Later I get punished by her. Haa. And you know where my hand hit her? It was hilarious. After that, I began to warm up for the more intensive defending. And soon everything ended. That was it.
We headed to Compass Point to have our lunch at kfc. We had the ball of our time~! Hees. Actually I'm pretty tired now. I will update you about what happened at hougang mall later. Me sighing off.

Hellos. Today I once again had training in the morning, I think? Haa. I don't want to ponder over matters that saddens me again. Still remember I told ms teoh that my knee hurts. Haa. I think she siao one. At the beginning of the training, she excused me from the jumping drill and after that there was the half-court game and she allowed me to jump, jump and more jump~. Haa. Anyways, I really hope my knee recovers soon. I want to be free to jump, jump and to jump some more~! My life in netball is beginning to take its shape. I really wish I can continue to play netball for a long, long time . . . Haa. I love ms teoh, ms lim, ms kang and netball. And I love the whole team~! They have been guiding me since sec one. Hees. How I wish good things can continue to go on. -.-lll What am I saying? Haa. Anyways, I enjoyed today's half-court game again. I get to defend ms teoh and I still find it challenging. Hees. Ya. Then the pei wen when I defend her, she kept on using her back to distort me from getting the ball so I just had to keep really close to her to prevent her from getting the ball.
Sigh. I read Siew hong's blog. It really saddens me la. I don't know where the team is getting to. I mean we all know our goals for the team but is anyone putting enough effort to come early and do the right things? It is only when we attempt the little things carefully then we can grasp the greater things in life. Sigh. I can only say punishments does nothing, it's all in the mind. If you choose to wake up earlier to come to school punctually and everyone in the team does that, this would be a perfect team but not yet perfect. Sigh. With the meagre amount of people coming for training, there is limited we can do. Please people, be considerate la. Alrights, me signing off here.

Hellos. I have been feeling depressed deep inside lately. Ever since I got slapped by my father, the feeling have been lingering inside. But I focused my mind on netball instead to divert my anger. Sigh. I loved playing netball since we played with cedac that very friday. Too bad in a few months' time, I will have to focus on my studies instead of netball. There will be no more netball for me. I guess I will just have to treasure the little time I have with the team from now on. Sigh. Just when I'm embarking on a new journey to the amazing world of netball when I know my time's going to be up. I'm so upset because of this. I don't want to leave the team or have another person as my coach. My mind is set to join netball as my cca again when I head over to tertiary education. I love netball so much. That said, my body is like breaking down already. My knees are giving me constant problem. I guess that's because I have been jumping quite frequently. Hmms, I'm thinking of joining a netball club or something when my o's are over. That way, I can continue learning new techniques or skills to use on court.
Yes~! Tomorrow there will be training~! I'm so looking forward to it. I hope there will be court game and hopefully I will get to learn new skills again. Ms teoh just taught me a new skill yesterday. I have yet to master it. I will master it. Hees. Me signing off here.

Hellos. After that slap from my father, I have changed my perspective of things. I have become a more determined person. I do what I have to do. The very instance of him slapping me with the newspaper keeps on flashing through my head. I can't forget it.
I woke up this morning and I thought about something last night. I pondered and I realized that it's no use of me trying to fight back against him because he's the head of the house and I'm just a nobody who depends on him for my living- my survival. Thus, I have decided to leave him alone and keep in to myself. I'm not going to talk to him at all. I went ahead to do my duty by vacuuming the floor mid-morning with the help of my younger sister. After that, I bathed and prepared to head for training.
Training was fun today, at least for me. I arrived at school. Training was dreadful today because there were only nine people who were present. You can say it was pathetic. Besides that, the keys to the pe store was missing or not with the right person. Thus, we didn't had the right stuffs for training. Mabel suggested heading to the gym for a workout and Ms teoh went ahead with that. After that, we came down to the parade square and did ball handlings and drills. Now, here's the fun part. Ms teoh wanted to play half court thus we had to oblige her. Hmms, not in terms of play la, she wanted to train us. It was so fun~! I had the chance to defend her~! It was super challenging~! And I loved it. I could try out the different stuffs I was taught. And I intercepted a few balls. I yearned for the half-court game to go on. It was so fun however I was not doing the right stuffs la. I was slacking there sometimes. Hees. I guess I didn't treasured the precious time I could to defend my own coach~! It was awesome man. Hees. If I can try it again, I will try to defend her with my utmost effort. Hees. So fun man.
Alrights, here's a little space for little erica. Hees. I actually didn't believe you at first when you said you could create my face with the icon. Now you can spread it far and wide. My face~! I'm gonna be famous~! Haa. Hees. I'm joking here. I'm glad that you have the thought to do what I thought you couldn't do. Ha. Thanks okie. Okie, me signing off le.

Yesterday, something happened in my life that would forever change my perspective of life again. I feel very fumed up thinking about it. I hate been discriminated at and yesterday was the day I got treated like a dirt.
4th of Dec, and I will always remember this date.
Yesterday morning, my mom woke me up as I wanted badly to join them for breakfast and you can say I was very sleepy because I only had barely 7 hours of sleep as I slept around twelve the night before. I freshened myself and prepared to head for breakfast and later to visit my grandma, and guess what my Dad said, he said "You come for what?" Then my mom asked him to keep quiet. Anyways, I was quite used to it already thus I ignored his remark. I always treasured the little breakfast times I have with my parents because both of them were working day in and out. I hardly get to spend time with them these days compared to before. We left the house. After breakfast at a coffeeshop, my Dad walked real quickly away and it was very frustrating for me and my mom. So I messaged him and said, "Idiot we're at the medicine store". I always hated him for walking so fast and leaving my mom behind. As everyone knows, I'm very close to my mom. Then we met up with him and he seemed normal. We headed home first to put the breakfast on the dining table for my sisters to eat later on. Then, while my mom was in the toilet, my dad came to the kitchen and asked me to boil the water and later follow him to the petrol station with the bikes to inflat the tyres. I was very fed up for him asking me to do this and that. For your info, I have to vacuum the floor at least twice a week on my own. And I have to take care of the household too, such as washing my toilet or hanging out the clothes when my mom isn't at home. I was very sicked of doing all that during weekdays and he asked me to do it on a weekend- my breakday. Thus, I said "Sucker, why don't you do it yourself or ask daphne to go and do it or follow you to the petrol kiosk?" , " Why are you always depending on me?" The worse thing was he seldom asked my little sister or elder sister to do them and I'm the middle child?! I was very sicked of him always shielding my younger sister even though she has committed something wrong. And for your info again, he dosen't dare to beat my sister or scold her when she does something wrong. By the way, my younger sister uses vulgarities on him too, why didn't he slapped her? Worse still, he himself uses vulgarities too! I ask you logically, WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO SAY THAT I SCOLD HIM VULGARITIES? Furthermore I don't use words such as F***er, it is he and my younger sister who uses them. He who dosen't show respect for himself by scolding vulgarities, has no right to ask another person to stop saying it to him if he dosen't change even though I'm his daughter. If he shows no respect to himself, he shall gain no respect of mine.
We headed to my grandma house then. On our way back, I forgot what was the reason, my dad got mad at my mom and the car was silent. By the way, my dad was already mad at my mom the previous day. So both of my parents were mad at each other. My mom got out of the car when we reached home, being closest to her, I followed her. All of us got back into the house. He got into his room and started saying my mom nags alot ever since she worked and he added that he was sicked and tired of me calling him idiot, f***ker and sucker. Okie, recalling back. Did I say him F***ker? The fact was NO! He put words in my mouth by saying I said that word. I stood up and argued with him. While my mom was in the kitchen, he who was arguing with me from his room came towards the living room with a newspaper and, HE SLAPPED ME WITH THE NEWSPAPER! He gave me a tightslap. I will never forget this particular day where he slapped me when I'm 15~! I'm 15 okie, and he slapped me. Without regards to logics. He did not showed the example by being a good father from the very first time he said the vulgar word~! It was even worse when he as a father showed discrimination between his daughters. I hate him. You slapped me, and I will never forget that day where I received a slap when I'm not in total wrong. The very wrong was made by you at the very start. I will never forget this slap. I will not take it for nothing. My tears kept flowing the day before that I swore never to drop another tear because of your stupid mistake! I still won't understand why I got slapped by you. I will show the world who is the right or wrong . . . Anyways, since he accused me of scolding him that F word, I was totally outrageous and since he wanted to hear that word so much by accusing me. I shouted across the kitchen to the toilet where he was the F word. Me and my mom then took our stuff and walked out on him. What even infuriated me was when I got home later in the night and I was about to sleep when I talked to my younger sister about the turd* and she said, " You still call him names ". I then said you shut your mouth up la, you scold mom all the vulgarities I can think of too. You have the least right to tell me what to do. My younger sister cannot get along well with my mom, so alike me and my dad can't get along too. I slept with hatred fuming inside my heart last night. I wanted to vent my anger out or to slap my dad back to let him relish the feeling of being slapped. Then I recalled what my mom told me before we got back into the house, "Keep your cool". That was on my mind the entire night.
I got up this morning feeling very tired. I headed for Raffles Girls' for my friendly match. On the way there, I thought of how I wanted to play later on. I was wondering should I allow my anger to distract me during the game or make use of it? Then, I made the right decision. I wanted to vent my frustrations out on the court. I wanted satisfaction without disappointment. I went into the game and I came out fully satisfied . . .

Hellos~! I had an awesome time today. Mei Xuan and I arranged to meet at compass together with bran for a study time. Sigh~! After a while of studying, the 'can't focus' Mei Xuan decided that she couldn't focus anymore and she wanted to play bball then. I accompanied her. Actually we wanted to have bran along but he didn't want to join us thus we bid him our byes at the bus-stop before the bus head for punggol. Ha ha. Before that, I must say right timing huh. Erica messaged me to ask me where was I or something and I told we were going to play bball soon and he wanted to join us. He seemed so eager to join us. Ha ha ha. Yupp. We waited for him at the bus-stop for quite a while and then the both of us decided to seat down at the near-by void-deck to chat. Stupid erica took quite a long time to arrive. Thus, Mei Xuan and I chatted about alot of stuffs. He came and we went to play bball after mei xuan got the ball from chun siang's house. Ha ha ha. Initially, I teamed with Mei xuan then I began to team with little erica. Yay~! Erica and me won several games. It was awesome man. I have never enjoyed bball as game as much as today man~!
Here's a little space for little erica. Yea. I had an awesome time with you all today playing bball man. Hees. Got time, we will arrange next time to play bball together again~! Yay~! Hees. Actually I got nothing much to write for you today because we met today. No need to write alot la. Hees. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos people~!

I went sentosa with mabel, xuan, shi jing,

bran,wei sheng and a malay guy.

Haas, sorry. I forgot his name. Hees.

Wells, basically we spent tons

of time playing volleyball.

It was fun. I learnt new techniques while

playing the game. Hehs.

The most surprising thing that happened to me was

a few guys came to ask for my number~!

I'm so honoured~! Haas.

I went into the water when I was not supposed to. Hehs.

Wells, to round it all,

I enjoyed my day totally yesterday.

Oh ya, I'm a little burnt.

Then after that, I went home together with mab, bran and the malay guy.

Mab went out of the train together with bran.

Sighs. I thought they were having a great time together.

That was when bran called me on my phone and asked me where was I.

He couldn't talked to her.

Aiya, that was what I thought la.

Poor guy. Mabel ar, reply to his msges la.

Here's a little space for little space for little erica.

I know you're at cloud nine because I said you were

very sweet to me right? Hees.

Aiyo, my eyes are still hurting though I have

rested it for a day. Painful~!

I'm also sweet to you right? See

I'm so bhb right? I'm like that one. Because

got people ask for my number then I became

bhb. Wa ha ha ha.

Then I just want to leave an advice for bran. Don't

think too much about it la. Take it slowly and

you will reign at the end of the road.

Hmms, actually I'm in no position to advise

you because I myself is not an expert in

relationships. I give you all my luck to go woo her.

Hehs.

Alrights, me signing off here.