Dear bloggie . . . I feel very down lately. I hate someone for being so direct towards me. I am no doll for you to play. I seriously don't know what are my aims right now. Previously, I was focused on studying until you got in and messed me up. I don't know whether I should be glad we finally cross our barrier of talking. We used to have a barrier called talking, these barrier was somehow slowly overcame, now I really don't know what you want. Isn't what we were doing so sweetly in the past something in aim for the future? What other barriers are there? I think I am nuts. I don't know why am I thinking of a relationship with you. You are not perfect among the guys I have known yet I don't know why have I fallen ever so deeply for you. This is sick man. I hate it, I detest it, I dread it. I have not given up on you yet you given up on me. I am so tired of giving my energy to this bloody thing. I am focusing on other things from now on. My studies, netball and my family. I am also going to focus on someone else if no one is going to pick me up from this dreadfulness.
MUG, MUG, MUG for o's!

I feel very happy today. 'He' gave me some answers which I long wanted to know or ask about and the good thing is he was sensitive. I feel that I am falling for him more and more. He can be sensitive and sweet, he does not overdo these. Perhaps I am imaginating things, but I still think I should get to understand him more before I do anything. Hees. *cuddles
Drats. I have geography homework to finish up on my last day of the holidays. It is frustrating, I find geography boring lately. Well, I shall just stick to my passion. It is study time! Ha.
I just want to apologise to this special someone for letting him down. You were sweet too however, I guess our age gaps were a little too far apart and I am still immersed in my toddly thinking and perspective in terms of relationships. I guess I will not be doing anything rash in the future. Take care k. I hope you will find another better and much prettier girl or lady in the future.
Alrights, I have to log off now. Bye!

I had a awesome time at bedok with my aunts and cousins today, spent almost my entire afternoon with them. Well, I have sort of thought it through or something. I just need time to sort it out.
I read someone's blog earlier and I am feel pretty touched by his actions. I just want to let him know that things that I have happened, have took place and it is time to move on.
I am going to chat with 'him' later on. I just feel that we have to sort this out sooner or later. Perhaps I should not even be brooding over this anymore. I will just leave it as it is.
Ha. I should stay positive! Yay! Hees. Need to begin a new term with a bright prospect. And also begin my 'purehardwork' mode. Haa. Tee hee. Alrights, I am going to end here ... Take care people!

Should I just let you go? I am confused. I don't understand what you are thinking. I know you do not understand what am I thinking at most of the times. I have so many questions in my head that are churning and waiting there for you to answer. Will you accept my imperfections? I know myself and I am a person who seeks perfection however, over the years, I realized that I am the person who is the most imperfect. Therefore, I no longer seek perfection in people except for the things I do. Perhaps, in the end, I guess you will ask me to let you go or just end all this because you do not want me to feel upset or anything. I really don't know. Perhaps we should just stay as friends because that was what we intended to do at the very first place. We wanted to maintain what we were doing however I do not know how come we got to the topic. Sigh. Are you confused too? Perhaps we should talk about this some time.
Today, something terrible happened to me. I got humiliated in front of several people at my school bus-stop. I don't really want to blame the person who did it because I knew she did not did it deliberately. You claimed you loved me yet you hurt my pride and self-esteem. Sigh. I just hope another of this will not happen again. I am born with it, it's not like I wanted it. Don't shout at me like I deserved it. I do not blame you and I still love the times we enjoyed together. I hope this will not be mentioned again.
Sigh. This week's accomplishment have not been as fruitful as I thought. I wanted to do more than these. Alright, let me end here.

Dear blog ... I don't know whether I have been doing the right things ever since I messaged him and got closer to him. I am so filled with uncertainty. Can you at least give me some certainty or an answer? I somehow feel that nothing will come out of this until I chatted with him that night. We chatted so easily, all of that except I still do not know what is he thinking all the time. We do not speak at school and seldom do we walk past each other and smile often. I read your blog entry and your ex asked you whether do you know how to even love ...
Urgh. I will continue from the next entry.

Dear bloggie ... My holiday week have not been as fruitful as I thought. I actually intend to do more than what I am presently doing today or the past few days. Sigh. I wished I would be given more time or at least I can be given a pair of speedy hands or brains to speed up my way of doing things. Today, I did a very bad thing. I hurt someone whom I used to like. I did not mean to do so however, some things are hard to explain. It is just that I have not got over someone and he just so happen came into my life. I mean his appearance in my life made a difference in my life however like I say, I have not got over someone. So now I let both parties know and the one whom I have not got over seemed to be a little mad now. Sigh. What am I supposed to do?

Hello ... bloggie. I had a sophisticated night. Someone messaged me at 3 am in the morning, and it so happen I got woken up by the message. Anyway, I was rather keen to listen and chat with this person near dawn. It was awry. This person told me that he wanted give up or something. Sigh. I really do not understand what this person is thinking ...