Dear Diary,
I am getting more upset as each day goes by. I don't know why. I think I am in love already but somehow ... how should I describe it? Wrong feelings at the wrong place and time. I can't understand certain things in life. It's like I have been fooled by fate. He's still as happy as he is but I am not. He has gotten over what happened between us but I have not. In fact, I feel that he is even happier now without my control and everything. I used to be so manipulative of him, screaming at him as and when, and he time and again didn't got mad at me. I really don't know who is at wrong for my predicament. Urgh. I will just get over everything and focus on my studies instead.

~ i didn't know some words could be so piercing to the heart when it came from the people you loved.

Happy Birthday Ms Coral Lim! Today's marks the birthday of someone whom I had really admire since young. I only wish for her to stay happy always. (;


School started today with the morning drizzle which kind of spoilt the entire day. But anyway, lessons ended early and I brightened up again. hahah.


I saw somebody today who brought up tremendous emotions in me. Over the months, I come to realize that he is really important to me. He has brought so many happy memories into my life. I'm so regretting now. But I have to prioritise and understand everything now. It's so not right. I really don't know. I wished I can't be bothered.

I miss the hotel alot. I miss the people there. I miss the people who thought highly of me even though I was not exactly. I miss the canteen where I sat for my buffet dinner regularly. I miss every single bit of the hotel. Even though I have worked there for barely a month, it seemed like I have worked there for ages. (: i love shangri la. and i will miss my friends who have shared the fun and laughter working there.

Some are looking forward to school reopening while I am not really looking forward to it anymore. At least for now.

Sometimes I pretend that things are alright but deep inside I am furious. If you think you deserve respect, please bear in mind that others deserve that same amount of respect too.

School's going to reopen, I wonder whether I should be happy or upset. Anyway, life's just going to go on so I shall just face each day with a smile. (:

This holiday has been quite a fruitful one. I managed to hold down a number of jobs and earn quite a bit. So I had been hardworking this holiday. hahah. And I am going back to school with this same attitude.

Yay. I have work tomorrow! Work's never been so fun with friends and everything else. hahah. And it's 8 dollars per hour on monday! I'm going to work on monday! (: ok, see ya!

Chalet was fun today. hahah. I had a ball of a time! But I am so tired and worn out right now and I have work tomorrow. I have a feeling that my health is deteriorating real fast because I keep having chest pains quite often these days. I haven't been to the doc though. And the pain is directly in the heart, like a short sharp and fast pain to the heart when I breathed in deeply. I think I might suffer from cardiac arrest very soon. Sigh, I am going to see the doc soon.


When I see others holding hands and being all lovey-dovey, I ask myself this question. "Am I not as deserving as that person right there to have someone whom I like and care for?" And I know the answer very clearly myself. I am of course more deserving than that person there! I just can't figure out what is wrong with me. I have tried very hard to be just like everyone else but this is like it's inborn in me. I can't help it. Perhaps I should just let someone else do the loving instead of me. Someone who is capable of just loving me plainly and not asking for anything in return. Because I am incapable of returning the love.


Yay. I am going to work tomorrow to forget everything else! I am going to see my eyecand-ies! hahaha! love them. haha.

Yay!!! Chalet is on friday! I can't wait! I miss my friends and fun so much. hahah. Somehow I feel that I am not resting enough from my breaks in between workdays. I still feel very lethargic after a day's rest since sunday. Oh man. I was at Shangri-la hotel working when I met Mr Stanley Tan from Punggol sec who was attending the wedding banquet. So embarrassing. hahah.

Life seems to get on rather fine for me. Been really busy at work until dawn sometimes of the week. I have not been getting enough sleep huh. Hms. Something is amiss. I have to settle something before the holidays end. Sigh. Yup. Me signing off.