Chalet was fun today. hahah. I had a ball of a time! But I am so tired and worn out right now and I have work tomorrow. I have a feeling that my health is deteriorating real fast because I keep having chest pains quite often these days. I haven't been to the doc though. And the pain is directly in the heart, like a short sharp and fast pain to the heart when I breathed in deeply. I think I might suffer from cardiac arrest very soon. Sigh, I am going to see the doc soon.


When I see others holding hands and being all lovey-dovey, I ask myself this question. "Am I not as deserving as that person right there to have someone whom I like and care for?" And I know the answer very clearly myself. I am of course more deserving than that person there! I just can't figure out what is wrong with me. I have tried very hard to be just like everyone else but this is like it's inborn in me. I can't help it. Perhaps I should just let someone else do the loving instead of me. Someone who is capable of just loving me plainly and not asking for anything in return. Because I am incapable of returning the love.


Yay. I am going to work tomorrow to forget everything else! I am going to see my eyecand-ies! hahaha! love them. haha.