So wells, I'm here to update my blog during this Chinese New Year Season. Actually before my reunion lunch at home, I was looking through Siew hong's blog and it kinda made me sad. I had no mood to enjoy the steamboat after that. I kept thinking when I will leave the team and how my life will be without trainings. It's just horrendous just to think. I was silent throughout the meal, which made my parents thought something was up with me. Haa. I was pretty upset. I went to my room to message chew ling and she advise me not to think about it till then. I heed the advice. I'm so upset now, though. I want my sweetest coach to remain and my team. However, something sparked me. I was wondering so what if we win or lose now that we have lost, we will be out of the school just in a matter of time. Hence, I would rather choose not think or reminsce the times we so enjoyed being together. iLOVEtheteam simply so much! That I simply don't want to let go. Everyone watched everyone grow up. It's like leaving my siblings behind somewhere. Anyways, I don't want to ponder over it anymore. It makes me real hurt inside. Sometimes I just wished we don't have to grow up but just remain in this little land of treasury. Sigh ... Alrights, I have got to go. Happy Chinese New Year, ppl!

Hellos. Today is the first tournament match I have against Anderson Sec. I'm such a imbecile. I didn't perform up to my standard in the first three quarters and later on in the last quarter, I hoped for a miracle to happen though I fought very hard for the last one. I have learnt a lesson from this and I will never do it again. I feel so ashamed of myself because of my stupid way of thinking. I'm going to give my all in the next four quarters to come. I shall show the world that I'm a fearless netballer. I shall be afraid of no one on the court ever again. Frankly speaking, I was very afraid of my goal-shooter. I was afraid that I couldn't intercept her ball and almost every other thing. I planned on winning today's match and this is the outcome. At first, I did not want to accept the fact that we lost to Anderson. For goodness sake, we were as good as them! We were about to beat them in the second quarter! Everything was so close. I'm trying to forget about this game. I shall take this as a lesson learnt.

Hellos. I've been real busy lately. Lessons are until 3.30 pm or even later with trainings. I'm trying to focus as much as I can. Maths lesson today was really hectic, Mdm Yap went a little too fast beyond my usual speed. I'm having a slight headache now. Aw . . . I'm totally unlucky. Yesterday during PE lessons, we were playing modified games when someone jumped up for the ball and elbowed me in the chest. It hurts quite badly. Ouch. I will be having several common tests next week, need to plan my time real wisely this weekend. I think I'm burning the midnight oil or something tonight. All this is pure hardwork. I don't even have time for a relationship. I messaged ms teoh and I told her about my chest injury, she said I was accident-prone. However, it's true what. I recently sprained my ankle and even risked spraining it a week ago the second time. I think I have to do lots of praying this sunday just so in case. Haa. Alrights, me signing off . . .

Hellos. It seems to me that things haven't been going smoothly for everyone. Well, maybe I haven't been doing enough for my netball team that's why everything is turning out this way. Team's attitude getting disastrous and so on. How I wished I can be given the authority or acknowlegment to yell at those people who haven't been showing the right attitude during training. Then maybe I would be yelling at myself too for not showing the right example in the first place. I guess I shouldn't be joking so much with my juniors. Also, I guess if I had to lecture someone, that someone would be myself. Recently, alot of stuffs has happened. Just yesterday, Pei wen and Elly or someone asked for help in their studies so I told them, " I guess you all should learn to help yourself first " Well, isn't that so right? If you have no intention to help yourself by having more self-discipline and getting yourself more organized in order to do better at your studies, even if you invite the world's top tutor to help you, won't he be saying the same thing I said to you? Everything's within your grasp if only you are willing to do so. You know something? All these were taught by Ms Lim. And I guess all these inspirational quotes are going to help me get through my dark corners in life. And though I know all these values of life, sometimes I find them hard to keep by. It's a really hard thing to keep by when you're really down. Everything's in the mind, I guess. Haa. I have never been a captain or anything so I think I won't understand my captains are going through. All the heavy responsibilities. Sigh. Life's getting tougher. Think positively.
I have decided to add a little space for lil Erica. It has been a week or so already. And we haven't been chatting as usual. I wonder how are we to keep this going. Well, we can choose to think about it at this point of time but we can't escape from it. Sigh. I don't want to think about it yet. Hmms, I haven't been in the proper mood lately. With my busy schedule daily, it's hard to find time to relax sometimes. Urgh. Me signing off.

Hellos. Today's Hari Raya Haji. Many things have happened since the reopening of school. I will be really very disappointed for Mei xuan if she gives up on netball. She has to get her priorities right first before deciding. Mei Xuan, whenever you need me, I will be there for you to help you get through this. Don't give up on yourself. Aiyo. I keep thinking of what she's going through and I feel like crying too. I really want to help her. Things are getting tougher and tougher for me day by day. Think positively man. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just got to perseverance till then. I just read Mei xuan's blog earlier and you can really say it dampened my spirits. This is our toughest year and we have got to fight through this. And people in order to win the battle, you have to stay focused. I'm sure you know what staying focused means. I have sacrified several things in order to be focused. And I have many more sacrifices to make. Alrights, I have to go and study already. Me signing off.

Hees. School has reopened. Well, I don't know whether I had been looking forward to it or something all this while. Haa. Anyway, the first week of school has been rather pleasant for me. I have got to know some teachers whom I find amazing or you can say interesting. Haa. Firstly, I want to say that I really like my english teacher, Mrs Lau. It's like I'm really liberated to ask any questions in her class or lessons. Next, I really find Mdm Yap, my mathematics teacher, a really focused teacher. I kind of like her lessons too. I have learnt my lesson from the past year. I'm going to be all serious this year. I fooled around and wasted my entire last year. Thinking back, I really regretted it. Anyway, what is left behind is left behind. I have to stay focused now.
I'm really very troubled by some things. A few days ago, I told Tiff some things that ended in the most tragic way. Then just yesterday, she came up to me and told me that someone still likes me alot. I feel very angry. I'm really trying hard to forget what happened. Then here comes the same thing again. I want to climb up to the highest building in this world and yell out all my frustrations. Then I will jump down the building with a parachute and let it lift me higher and higher till I feel emptiness. I want to forget!!! What do you think I am, a substitute for you? I said it once you lost me, you will never get to own me again. Do you get it? Get out of my life please.
Okie, here's a little space for lil Erica. School has reopened. I guess we don't have as much time to meet up. It's okie. We can still keep in touch through messaging okie? Haa. Ya. It's really heaven's will for us to meet on that rainy day without arranging to meet up. Haa. Okie la, i'm tired. Me signing off.

Hellos! Yay! School is reopening! I'm geared up for the new year ahead. I'm going to mug hard for everything. Ya. Time is very precious and limited for me now. There's about six months left to my chinese o' levels. Have to read more chinese newspapers! My got. My time is so constraint. I'm starting the year with a positive attitude. Hmms. This is so frustrating. My lessons will end at 3.30 pm from tomorrow onwards. Lessons will also be in home room system. Well, maybe it will be better this way. And I have an A maths re-examination coming up! I'm about to finish my revision on circular measure. I'm planning to finish it by tonight. Then I'll go on to Trigo and that's it. Oh and permutation. I'm so lame. Holidays are over and here am I not yet prepared for the paper. It's okie. I will finish it soon. Alrights, me signing off.