I have been attending netball trainings for the past 2 weeks. I think you all know me, I take quite a while before I open up to those around me. And this applies to every aspect of my social life. Yup. So I was at training today and I finally managed to talk abit more than usual. My team-mates all commented that I looked real stern and scary at first, however I think I changed their impression of me today. Hms well ...


I'm so happy and glad that there's still so many people who still cares about me even though doing so was a thing of the past. I love all of you so very much. Thanks for caring and offering advices to me when I was down. I was so touched. [[: love you people.


Alright, I'm so tired now. I haven't got sufficient sleep since tuesday this week. Urgh. Okay. Got to go! God bless you, my loved ones!

I have been so messed up since yesterday. I have been pondering over this since last night and I feel so upset about it that everytime I think about it, I feel like breaking down. This is just so stressful, all the rest are so damn high up there and I'm nowhere there nor here. Now, you must be wondering what I must be trying to talk about. It's my CCA, netball.


Frankly speaking, I have plans to give up my place in the netball team. I feel so stressed up training every night on monday and thursday and it's not like my netball training at punggol sec, it's a far difference from it. At tp, we don't even get to bond nor laugh during training, everything is strict and stern and I can't take it longer. Everything is pressurizing since I am the weakest there when you see the rest soaring on court and I am waddling there. I feel so dumb. Why am I always feeling this way? I have no idea. I asked a girl at training whether she felt stressed during training, and she replied "No, okay what" Perhaps it's my pride. I used to get to play every single game on court in the past but now, I don't think I even stand a chance to play. And this could be the root of my problem. Also, I heard there is going to be another cut in the number of players in the team. This sucks man.


Do you all think I would be able to persevere on better if my pride was placed aside? Do you all think I will be able to survive the test of my pride? And most importantly, will I give up? . . . .

Alright, I had netball training yesterday. It was extremely exhausting, which clearly proves that my stamina has declined drastically. Oh well, can't help it, just have got to train it back up. In fact, it was so tiring that I got hit by the netball several times because I couldn't focus well with my un-paced breathing. yup. The other selected players were all far better than me, felt so inferior seriously. Anyway, I bet all my seniors and team-mates must be thinking I'm a cold person. hahah. I kept keeping my stern face on. URGH. whatever. I'll try to blend in with my team-mates the next training. I want to prove myself worthy of a place in the team.


Sometimes, I wonder whether there are people who aren't afraid of hardwork. Because, I am sometimes so afraid of it that I lose sleep over it.


URGH. my muscles are aching!

alright. yesterday was an utterly bad day. I felt so bad the entire day. Some chicken in the lecture theatre said something which made my fragile heart crack and break into pieces. Urgh. I can't seem to get along very well with the girls in my class. They are nice but weird sometimes. Or perhaps I'm the weird fellow in disguise.


netball trials went rather alright on thursday. I went through about six court games before I got selected. There were many talented players though. My skills were mediocre compared to them. Thankfully, I was one of the last three girls who got selected into the team. The coach was one of a familiar face, I think she umpired the punggol netball team a few times before. Alright, netball trainings start next monday and I'm so not looking forward to it even though I enjoy the game. I prefer to remain ignorant.

okay. this entire week has been really taxing and exhausting even though I had two days off the week. I had canoe polo trials and netball trials yesterday.


all right, this was what happened yesterday evening. Since my lecture was supposed to end at 6 pm but I was released early at 4 pm, I had two whole hours to spend. took my dinner at jupiter cafe, tried out their fish and chips'(so-so) I headed for canoe polo trials at 5.30 pm. We were made to run 8 rounds around the track for just the stupid warm-up. My poor legs.


I headed for netball trials at 6.30 pm. Selections were strict and direct. I trashed it for first try as I was beat and exhausted from the earlier warm-up. However, we were given up to 2 to 3 tries. I was such a disgrace for failing to make it to the second round with the first try. Furthermore, I was wearing the netball shoes. Urgh. Thankfully, i made it to the second round with the second try. (: second trials next thurs near sports complex.