I need a change. I got empowered by this song - agnes, release me.

Sometimes, I tell myself to be contented with my lot. Then somewhere around my superficial self comes telling me that 'you need more'. It just gets so frustrating.

`get a hole and burrow yourself in, charlene.

I'm all crumbled up, been curling up in bed the entire afternoon. I found a new identity a while ago. This raw feeling is quite queer but empowering.

They say,

If you truly love someone, you will be strong for them when you're really falling apart.

That you shouldn't have to prove you love someone.

That it's more of a trust and communication thing.

That love isn't about doing great deeds.

It's about being open, reliable, honest, talking and sharing.

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry for all the insecurities and unreasonable antics and everything. You are everything to me baby. I don't know how am I going to redeem myself this time.

I don't wanna be like this. I needa grow up.

I feel an urge to do so much this term break. I have got so much inner energy to expend out, so much to let loose. I want to do some travelling around exotic places, do some action to get my adrenaline pumping. Life's too short to spend it hesitating. What if I died tomorrow?

Dinner at the glass house fish & co was quite awesome. I had some cheese stuffed fish and chips which was really tasty at first but it got a little too much for me when I had more than three quarters of it. I got sicked of it. haha. I spend 2/5 of my allowance for the week today. I have four more effing days to survive. Aw.

Term test's over. Oh boy, I'm so glad but I'm so going to scream when I have the papers back two weeks from now. Ugh. I can actually start screaming now you know~

Debbie's away from me. :( she's away in korea, seoul now. I have no idea why do I think of her when I couldn't be bothered when she was in sg. I scraped through the term test papers thanks to her. I was so bloody lost after I crashed the first two papers, thank god she was there to tell me some really positive stuff. I love you debbie! :D

I have been having a rather hard time with my own life. This is my last sem and I'm about to graduate soon. My dad's been drilling some facts about what I really want to do after I graduate. He forbades me to do what I want to do. But then again, I would ask myself if that's what I really want for myself. I feel like running away sometimes. It's so awfully scarrrrryy.

I think I'm really crazy, been thinking and fantasizing about so many things. Have you ever entered a mall and walk past really mysterious and sexy people? I mean really mysterious people, like they possess this aura which you don't get with other people. And this is what we chinese people call as 'seh'. Haha.

I'm going to go read a book now, been coughing like nuts since I don't know when. I might just die from an asthma attack or something. Grrr..