what is the feeling of not having what you wanted? what is the feeling of loving someone but the feeling is not mutual? what is the feeling of being hurt, isolated and alone? what is the feeling of loving someone whom you do not love?

my answer to all the above questions can't be answered because i can't feel anymore. there are few attempts at failure but i already feel weak and tired. what is my reason for being neither here nor there with anyone? it's because i can't have the only one with me. i only want the ONE with me. i don't want anyone else. BUT it's only 4 now. i'm too sick and tired with feelings.


after i got home and took a hot shower, i felt really emotional. perhaps it's after I have seen somebody's profile. it hurt a little, then spasm of pain hit me. i'm so sad now.