I do not like the way I am feeling now. Right now. I hate this feeling. I can have the whole world under my palms but not the heart of the one. I HATE this! BUT, i'm very optimistic. There are many who are graving to enter my heart anyway. Aftermath? I don't feel that you deserve my love.

I do not know whether I should be blogging about this anot, but I can't sustain keeping this problem inside. Please do not come asking me who is the person mentioned below. Someone confessed his likes for me last night and it came as a shock to me. I can't make a decision now? I really don't know whether this is right. It feels inappropriate for us to.

URGH! My eye is red and swollen this morning! It's disgusting and eeky. I could barely open my eyes. And until now, it's still quite swollen. Hence, I skipped going out with my family today to avoid unnecessary attention to my poor eye. Aw. Hms. ): I have been on the drops since this morning. I wonder will it be alright tomorrow? hahaha.

YAY! It's a much anticipated day tomorrow! Heh heh. Hees. I can't say why though. hahaah.

uh oh. Things are going pretty well for me! hees. I bought a new bag! MU! hahah. I love it to tons. It's vintage brown. I have settled most of the problematic things that are hindering me from giving my biggest smile. heh. I'm just going to collect my medical report on 2 April and head straight to temasek poly to hand it up once and for all.

I was talking to bai lin the other night. We were like talking and chatting when he told me he liked this girl. hahaha. I won't divulge who it is. He's such a chicken la. He's always calling me in the middle of the night or when it's in the the dead of the night and he expects me to pick it up to chat with him when I'm like halfway in lala land. Hms. And we talked crap all night.

I went shopping at bugis about a day ago. I saw this really magnificient NICE miniature electric guitar pendant at perlini slivers'. It's thirty bucks. Urgh! I wanttt it!!! hahah. I'm going to save up for it somehow. Or is it worth my effort to save up for something that isn't worthwhile? Hms. (; i'm so hype now. Heh.

I miss a person now. -.- haha.

Today was alright. I had an outing with the girls and two guys. We went to collect ame's and deb's medical report at international plaza. Mabel decided to drop by there with us for her check-up as well. For me, I do not know why I was there. hahah. We later went to bugis to hit some drums at the arcade. It was FUN! hahah. BUT, when I got home, I received a letter which spoilt my bloody high mood. crap. I've got to settle some things bloody fast now. Urghh.

`i want to be a goth. heh.

everything's not yet over. guide me over this little hurdle, plueease...

oh gosh! I'm so beat now. I went to the zoo today! It was a rather long but much anticipated trip there. I pretty much enjoyed the wild animal show. The seal was so adorable. Heh. However, there was much walking to do. It was as though as we were trekking in the forest. haha. I wonder how mabel is faring after her 5 days trek in the mountains. haha. My lunch was taken rather late because KFC was flooded with parents getting food for their kids. We had to drag ourselves(my JC friends) all the way back to the entrance to get some food. It was pathetic la. Overall, it was fun but money not well-spent.

I hate my life at this very, very moment and time.

I feel bad about something which I did today. Instead of helping my dear juniors with their schoolwork, I went out with my sister to orchard. Urgh. I'm sorry, my dearest. haha. Anyway, they feel so close yet so far away from my heart. I feel that as everyone proceed to their next phase of life, they leave behind some unspoken misunderstandings and even friendships. ANYWAY, I wished I could clear up some of these things before I leave for the next one.


Uh huh. I bought a new top from ZARA today. It was the very opposite of inexpensive. My pockets are coming apart now. I've got to start saving up. (: perhaps some self-control might come in handy. By the way, tangs of germs are spreading through my house. My sister's got a bad flu and throat, and I'm getting them too. Urgh. My weak immune system. Uh oh. My eyes are squinting now just to type these alphabets out on blogger. Poor me. My eye dropper.

urgh. this is utterly irritating. I AM IRRITATED!

I am morphing into a dead person. I don't have the mood to blog somehow. I am so dead and tired. haha. okay.

`I CAN'T WAIT FOR SENTOSA!

Hurray! I've got into chemical engineering at temasek polytechnic, and I have two others who will join me at the same school! Debbie and Jonas! haha. Besides that, I am also glad for amelia who made it into mass communication at tp. heh heh. Hms. I had a rather peaceful day, not much people called to interrupt me. haha.

This brings me to recall that there was a tremor felt in singapore today. Many working adults were interrupted at work. Students at st. andrews had their lessons disrupted. Perhaps the world is indeed coming to an end. There are disasters and chaos everywhere in the world. Soon, everyone in the world, anyplace, anywhere, will not be spared.

I had a call with stupid bai lin last night. We chit chatted for about close to two hours? hms. that chicken. He is a baddie. Alright, I got to go. May god watch over the world.

I had a lazy day again. haha. I slept about four hours in the day after waking up at 8 am in the morning. Hms. BUT, I still feel sleepy. There's no adrenaline or satisfaction I get from doing things, which is what i really hate. My dad is flying abroad tonight to get his job done overseas. I somehow dislike the inconvenience without dad but still this is a short one and hopefully he will be back home safe and sound. God bless him. (:

I have been eating alot guilty-conscious food recently and i haven't been working out. I guess I'll head to the gym or tracks soon. I have to. hms. And I'll be joining the hip hop class at the sports complex when my sister passes her driving test. urgh. poor her. hms. She's been rather gloomy since she failed her first test recently. But no worries! I have faith that she will pass the next one. (: my dear sister. haha. hms.

I hanged out with shi jing and gang today. It was a good catching up time. Everybody talked and laughed at pizza hut. (: I felt really gratifying. haha. Nonetheless, shi jing had to leave early. So ya. It was left with the five of us. uh oh. I am watching the both of you, my lovebirds. haha. ya. It was a semi-happy day. So there goes my day ...

Last night, I had a surreal dream. I dreamt that I had a dispute with mabel. And it was really bad. She insulted my loved ones and I retaliated. I was real mad in the dream. I'd wanted to slap her or something. haha. Then I also recalled that there were hints of the JACM disbanding. haha. It sounded and was so real that I woke up with a jerk. hms. It is indeed weird. haha.

Urgh. I'm going to get preparations to keep me occupied next week. I'm going to get english comics and some books. Yup. I am also going to rent dvds. haha. It's plain enjoying next week!

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you. Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

ouch, my back hurt. It has been hurting since last night. So irritating. Hms. Nothing much has happened lately. It's just plain boring and not-so-usual lifestyle now. haha. My dad just fixed the damn router last night, so here I am blogging again. Crap. Urgh. I think I am going to catch more sleep. (:

Today was purely a very lazy day for me. I cleaned my hamster's cage again. They were naughty again, messing up their home once every fortnight. Oh well, they should be glad they have such a loving owner. haha. Hms. I watched plenty of television today, slept a little and out I went to meet up with debbie.

I met debbie at compass point at 3.45 pm. She was with terence and xue yuan, which was kind of weird. Hms. We walked around compass, playing the arcades and reading books at the popular bookstore. Time passed swiftly, and soon I had to head home. We saw Mdm Phua in compass too and crappie debbie promised her that we would walk home with her when I was in a rush for time. I walked home alone eventually. ): haa.

i think i am falling for you;

but i'm afraid of doing so;

i'm insecure;

and i can't help it;

i need that much needed confidence;

but i don't see it in you;

tell me what should i do;

shall you?

great. I had a good time outside today. I went orchard with phelan and we did lots of stuff together. haha. The worst thing was I met several familiar faces there and these people mistaken us of being together. One of them came to talk to me and later ended with "hey, your boyfriend has walked away". Truth was otherwise. haha. Hms. But it was fun. We watched Dreamgirls even though I thought that it was a boring movie.

okay. this is a recap of what we did today. the both of us arranged to meet up at 12 noon at dhoby ghaut. then we went to cineleisure where we booked our tickets first. thereafter, we walked around orchard. at 2 pm, we dined in at suki sushi where we ate to our fill. i wanted to puke after that. ahaa. catched our movie and went home thereafter.

haha. Today's fun. haha. I experienced something which I had never experienced before. haha. Only ame knows about it. haha. And I felt rather happy after that. Quite weird of me huh. haha. Yup. That's all for today. haha.

I miss the JACM and debbie. ahaha.

` cheeki-ness envelops me. haha.

It was a usual sunday today. opps, it's past midnight already. nehmind. haha. hms. I've been bothered by a nonsensical guy from friendster recently. He keeps asking me to send my picture over to his mobile. Sickening guy. What irks me is that his name reminds me of a person who has been etched inside me for a lifetime I guess. I don't feel like talking to him, AT ALL. Sigh.

oh. tomorrow's going to be a fun day after all. I'm going to spend my time with somebody! Hees. Phelan! haha. Well, I don't know what I'm up to somehow. I don't even know what I want. Yup. Hopefully, I can get out of the house without being suspected. haha. uh oh. I've to meet him at orchard. shittie. i don't know how to get there. shi jing .... aw. okay. I've a photographic memory. ((:

I've been busy helping this soon-to-be couple that I have tire myself out. I'm going to lay back and rest now. I give you two my best wishes. Aw. I'm so tired man. crap.

oh ya. terence wants a column for him here. it's like he has waited all his life just to see his name here. haha. okay. what should I write? I seriously have no idea. Thanks for being a nice friend though. haha. But I think you seriously should blend more with the guys and minimise sticking with us, deb and me. haaha. we're les so please do not break us up. haha. oh but I heard from deb you have became her les-mate too? haha. when did you changed your sex? haha. okay. this is so crappie. haha. And oh ya. I think you'll like my next sentence. I think I am beginning to like you as a friend. ((: haha. anyway, you have been a good friend all these years except _____. yup. okay. see ya. i'm tired.

True Lyrics
by Ryan Cabrera

I wont talk

I wont breathe

I wont move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think I dont look

But deep inside

In the corner of my mind

Im attached to you

Im weak

Its true

Cuz im afraid to know the awnsers

Do you want me too?

Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life

To cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You dont know what you do

Everytime you walk into the room

Im afraid to move

Im weakIts true

Im just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you

The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line

To the only thing thats true

So I will not hide

Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

Today's outing with bai lin and danny the group, was alright. Even though the girls had some miscommunication with the guys several times. haha. There were only three girls which include myself, ame and debbie. hees. I took plenty of pictures of ame while she was caught unaware. haha. She whacked me several times. Ouch. haha. But still, the pictures looked hilarious. She thought that they were nice, because it was her. haha. Idiot ame. haha. Oh ya. The three of us dropped by tampines mall in the morning. And I took pictures of a pair of kissing fishes. They were so sweet and cute! haha. How I wished I were them. haha.

Even though it was a fairly tiring day of walking, I had a joyous time with ame and debbie. Stupid debbie and ame. We were all so childish. haha. Firstly, we sat at ya kun coffeeshop to eat a little and we began snapping pictures of each other non-stop! haha. Then debbie told us that some game in her phone could compete with terence's so ame played it with me. She kept screaming whenever she hit the kerbs and when she lost to me. haha. She lost to me 3 times at least! haha! Then there we were on the escalator poking each other and I pushed ame's head down that she nearly hit the steps. haha. But my voodoo charm broke. Thank god I've fixed it. hees. I think I was the siao-est girl in the group today. haha. I guessed it was to cover up for something unhappy within me. haa.

aw ... This is utterly dumb of me. My friends in SRJC asked me to head back to school tomorrow when I have withdrew. It would be so dangerous for me. It's like a pig entering the slaughtering ground. Urgh. Darn it. Crap. And I have given my word to magdalene. URGH!!!

Oh. I went back to punggol sec today to help ame with her testimonial or something. We seeked mrs lau's expertise. Yup. Hms. I came to a conclusion. Ame has totally forgotten her vocabulary bank! Such a chicken. haha. A few hours later, jonas dropped by the school too. All of us chatted about our social lives. haha. Somebody is interested in somebody!!! haha. And I'm the matchmaker. Heh heh. Haha. We played a prank on some people today. Hees. Shi jing was one of the victims. haha. She sounded so lost over the phone. haha. haha.

My eyes are failing me! I'm going blind very soon. Very soon. Sigh. I have got four bottles of eye drops. Oh. While I was in the public bus this afternoon, I caught my eyes on some scribblings at the back of the seats. It was a poem or something. Here's it:

A rose I'll surrender;

to you who's a wonder;

in my life;

there's no one greater

You I'll remember;

every second, every hour;

this poem I deliver;

i await your answer ...

Hms. It dosen't quite connect but I still think it's a nice one. I want to go sentosa!!!