I am so sorry everyone. I didn't know I had been such a letdown to all my close friends. I am sorry. I am dreadfully sorry. I was never a good friend. From the very beginning, I let down deb when we used to be very close in the past. And I left with the rest. And right now. I keep repeating my mistakes time and again. I am sorry. I can never be a great friend. No words can describe the abyss of apologies I wish to send out to each and everyone of you.
To JAM: I guess I have never been a good friend with the three of you whom have stood by me all these while yet I never realized your presence. I am seriously very sorry. Sorry for not being there with the three of you when the occasionwas meant for the four of us. I guessed I have always misunderstood the meaning of JACM. I feel so inferior when I am with you all. The three of you have exceptional results and vast talents. Yet, I am the little weakling wallowing in self-pity when I am with the three of you. The feeling isn't great. I can't understand but perhaps I still can't get used to JACM. I think I have been too emotional here. Thanks for being there for me when I am really down. Please remember that everything arised from me being fickle-minded and plain selfish. Please forgive me.
To deb: I am really apologetic to you too. As I said, I never was a good friend. I changed your impression of a best friend in life. I guess you will never understand the significant of a true friend since you have lost faith in friendships. And I am the cause of it. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I will make it up to you one fine day. I promise.
I don't know why. But my eyes are actually filling itself with tears and is at the verge of dropping down soon. I feel so guilty. After nearly sixteen years in life, I still never understood the meaning of friends. I never cherished my friends. Or perhaps, like you said, I let my pride and dignity get in the way and leave things to deteriorate. I feel so much like a failure today.