what's wrong man? what is wrong?! I am fed up and tired and frustrated of myself. At one point of time, it feels as though as I have given my best and at one point of time, it feels as though as I have not. Why am I not yielding the results? Why?!!! I am pissed off with myself. I just feel like breaking down . . . I am close to wits end. I am reaching my limits. There's so little time yet so much things to do. And what's the worst!? I don't know how am I going to go about making changes to improve my studying! I don't blame anyone. It's all my fault. I don't study hard enough. Yar. It's all my fault. I'm dumb so just accept it! Sometimes, I think that life is so unfair. Why can some complacent people not study and yet still score well? Where did the logic 'hardwork pays off ' went to? Where?! Say I'm jealous. Yes. I am jealous. I am jealous of people who are slip-short in their studying and still do well. I am jealous of people who can play tons and tons and still do well.
I am losing faith in myself already. I don't know where am I heading. I don't know where my stupid results can get me to. I am so afraid. And I am very scared that I will give up anytime. I have lost the belief in me. I am like a girl who's at the edge of a cliff. I will fall down anytime. And the numerous conflicts I am facing in between friendships aren't doing me any better. I am about to snap any moment. I am like sandwiched in between. Yar. Say it's my fault. It has always been my fault. And never yours. If our friendship were strong, no one could have came in and broken the bond. If our friendship were kind, there would be no hypocritism behind our faces. If our friendship were made with love, there would be no competition between us that were so intense that they were making us hate each other.
Yar. It was my fault right at the very start. I should not have left you out and went with her. Now that the both of us have seemingly went separate ways, none of us seem happy with being trapped in the past times. Well, perhaps you are happy with the way you are now.
` you never understood me the way the other did. it applys to me too.