dear diary,

I feel dreary now. There's a feeling of heaviness in my chest. I feel hurt but I do not know or rather do not want to acknowledge who is causing this pain. dear diary, every time I wrote in you, there would be something which bothers me whether minor or major. Sometimes, I do not wish to grow up and face this ruthless world. As the days grow older, new things emerge and old things are chucked aside. I just finished writing my personal diary which is kept somewhere safe where it's most dangerous in the house. Hms. As the words scattered over the sheets, memories of my past were revealed. A sense of guilt overwhelmed me sending shivers to the bones. I wonder why as the days pass, I get more unhappy especially when it's night time. I guess I am beginning to ponder alot when it's dark? I need someone to secure me. dear diary, tell me who will do it? I am hurt easily with the slightest mistake of words.

I want only you. You know who you are. Do not make me wait anymore. I am tired. Grab me by the arm and take me away to faraway land where bliss awaits us. Ease my painful soul as you look passionately in my eyes. Take me far, far away and do not forsake me, for I would be as helpless as a lame in your eyes. Cast our pride aside and let us dance to the moonlight all night. You know who you are, take me away. I await your presence with painful eyes.

dear diary, I only wanted you to understand my feelings because nobody in this world clearly understands how I feel. Nobody, not even the closest of my kins. The mere reminder of this thought sends searing pain through my heart leaving behind a broken me. People who claimed they understood me, my parents, my siblings, some friends. But in fact none of them clearly understood me. I stand alone with my own beliefs. I am ever-changing quickly nowadays, that even I can not recognise myself anymore. I want to stop growth. I do not want to grow up. I yearn for someone to love me wholeheartedly.


Well, I guessed I had been a lil emotional here? okie, that's all for today. I'm breaking for the day.