Hellos. Apologies. I have not been updating recently. Haas. I have been busy. Hees. Yup. Mid-year exams are approaching ... I don't know how many times I have to emphasis this term. Frankly speaking, I am still not really prepared. I have channelling all my energy and focus to A maths and E maths. I also need to focus on Physics, been really weak at that. Sighs. Buck up, buck up! Urgh. I feel so bloated now. I just had my dinner. Ha. Darn it. This Saturday is my school's annual sports day. I am running three events. It is so stressful. I keep telling myself that I can do it and will do it however, you see, there is also the black side of things. Ya. I am really frustrated with myself when there is a compeitition I have to face. I will keep having these recollections of how I will be running. I will picture both sides, win or lose. Sigh. I will be logging off soon. I have to stay focused on my schedule.

Hellos people! Time passes really fast. In two weeks time, I will be sitting for my mid-year examinations. It's real terrifying but I am mugging real hard for it. Except for today. Ha. I am preparing to go out soon to celebrate Cherine's birthday. I have a line of tasks to complete tonight after the celebrations. I need to mug real hard for my chemistry and e maths tests which are coming up. There are so many things to do yet so little time. It seems like I need better, tighter time management! Ah ... ha. A little laughter will do no harm. Ha. See ya! *busy

Hello! I am back to my normal self! Hees. I am very grateful to Ms Lim's advice and myself. I have been brooding over the incident lately. And I have decided to move on. The world will not stop for me. I can cry all I want but I will move on and stay focused. Yay! I feel much weightless. Hees. I realized what I have been doing were just pure sms flirting, I did not even question myself whether it was love or whatever. And it ended up that I did not like him as much as I thought I did. It was just 'hallucination'. I took a much shorter time to forget him than little Eric. Anyways. I have a confession to make here. I am really sorry to you, Eric. You cherished me yet I chose the wrong choice which I now think I was not in the right mind at that time. He and me are not meant to be and we will never be. I am apologetic for not cherishing you. Whatever it is, I am directing all my energy towards my studies. And when I have collected my results with dazzling numbers, I will not forget you for being so patient with me in the past. Through this, I have seen who is the good and bad.
'Ctrl. Alt & Delete Mario' forever from my life.

Dear bloggie . . . I feel very down lately. I hate someone for being so direct towards me. I am no doll for you to play. I seriously don't know what are my aims right now. Previously, I was focused on studying until you got in and messed me up. I don't know whether I should be glad we finally cross our barrier of talking. We used to have a barrier called talking, these barrier was somehow slowly overcame, now I really don't know what you want. Isn't what we were doing so sweetly in the past something in aim for the future? What other barriers are there? I think I am nuts. I don't know why am I thinking of a relationship with you. You are not perfect among the guys I have known yet I don't know why have I fallen ever so deeply for you. This is sick man. I hate it, I detest it, I dread it. I have not given up on you yet you given up on me. I am so tired of giving my energy to this bloody thing. I am focusing on other things from now on. My studies, netball and my family. I am also going to focus on someone else if no one is going to pick me up from this dreadfulness.
MUG, MUG, MUG for o's!

I feel very happy today. 'He' gave me some answers which I long wanted to know or ask about and the good thing is he was sensitive. I feel that I am falling for him more and more. He can be sensitive and sweet, he does not overdo these. Perhaps I am imaginating things, but I still think I should get to understand him more before I do anything. Hees. *cuddles
Drats. I have geography homework to finish up on my last day of the holidays. It is frustrating, I find geography boring lately. Well, I shall just stick to my passion. It is study time! Ha.
I just want to apologise to this special someone for letting him down. You were sweet too however, I guess our age gaps were a little too far apart and I am still immersed in my toddly thinking and perspective in terms of relationships. I guess I will not be doing anything rash in the future. Take care k. I hope you will find another better and much prettier girl or lady in the future.
Alrights, I have to log off now. Bye!

I had a awesome time at bedok with my aunts and cousins today, spent almost my entire afternoon with them. Well, I have sort of thought it through or something. I just need time to sort it out.
I read someone's blog earlier and I am feel pretty touched by his actions. I just want to let him know that things that I have happened, have took place and it is time to move on.
I am going to chat with 'him' later on. I just feel that we have to sort this out sooner or later. Perhaps I should not even be brooding over this anymore. I will just leave it as it is.
Ha. I should stay positive! Yay! Hees. Need to begin a new term with a bright prospect. And also begin my 'purehardwork' mode. Haa. Tee hee. Alrights, I am going to end here ... Take care people!

Should I just let you go? I am confused. I don't understand what you are thinking. I know you do not understand what am I thinking at most of the times. I have so many questions in my head that are churning and waiting there for you to answer. Will you accept my imperfections? I know myself and I am a person who seeks perfection however, over the years, I realized that I am the person who is the most imperfect. Therefore, I no longer seek perfection in people except for the things I do. Perhaps, in the end, I guess you will ask me to let you go or just end all this because you do not want me to feel upset or anything. I really don't know. Perhaps we should just stay as friends because that was what we intended to do at the very first place. We wanted to maintain what we were doing however I do not know how come we got to the topic. Sigh. Are you confused too? Perhaps we should talk about this some time.
Today, something terrible happened to me. I got humiliated in front of several people at my school bus-stop. I don't really want to blame the person who did it because I knew she did not did it deliberately. You claimed you loved me yet you hurt my pride and self-esteem. Sigh. I just hope another of this will not happen again. I am born with it, it's not like I wanted it. Don't shout at me like I deserved it. I do not blame you and I still love the times we enjoyed together. I hope this will not be mentioned again.
Sigh. This week's accomplishment have not been as fruitful as I thought. I wanted to do more than these. Alright, let me end here.

Dear blog ... I don't know whether I have been doing the right things ever since I messaged him and got closer to him. I am so filled with uncertainty. Can you at least give me some certainty or an answer? I somehow feel that nothing will come out of this until I chatted with him that night. We chatted so easily, all of that except I still do not know what is he thinking all the time. We do not speak at school and seldom do we walk past each other and smile often. I read your blog entry and your ex asked you whether do you know how to even love ...
Urgh. I will continue from the next entry.

Dear bloggie ... My holiday week have not been as fruitful as I thought. I actually intend to do more than what I am presently doing today or the past few days. Sigh. I wished I would be given more time or at least I can be given a pair of speedy hands or brains to speed up my way of doing things. Today, I did a very bad thing. I hurt someone whom I used to like. I did not mean to do so however, some things are hard to explain. It is just that I have not got over someone and he just so happen came into my life. I mean his appearance in my life made a difference in my life however like I say, I have not got over someone. So now I let both parties know and the one whom I have not got over seemed to be a little mad now. Sigh. What am I supposed to do?

Hello ... bloggie. I had a sophisticated night. Someone messaged me at 3 am in the morning, and it so happen I got woken up by the message. Anyway, I was rather keen to listen and chat with this person near dawn. It was awry. This person told me that he wanted give up or something. Sigh. I really do not understand what this person is thinking ...

Dear blog. Life is getting tougher and tougher each day for me. I feel the load getting heavier and heavier. However, I am telling myself that I will only get stronger by each load not weaker. Soon, two months of intensive schooling would have passed. Also, very soon I will take my GCE O' level chinese paper. Everything is approaching at a very frightening speed that I am so afraid the next day would be my O's. You know something. I have really put in a lot of effort in my studies in these two beginning months of schooling. And, I feel that I am reaping the results. I really regretted not being this way the year before. I am experiencing mixed feelings right now. I do not know whether I should be glad that I have realized earlier or regretted earlier or despair over how much I have missed out in the past year. It is real frustrating. I am taking up A maths tuition very soon. I also want to take up Chemistry tuition however I have not seeked my parent's views yet.
At this point of time, I really want to be frank to anyone. I have been in close terms with this someone. However, it is only through sms. It is frustrating. We do not talk to each other in school and then things are not going really smoothly. We are thinking of giving up each other anytime. Well, I am frustrated. I really have no mood for a relationship at this period of my life. Why couldn't all this problems approach me the year before when I fooled around the entire year? Why do such things approach me when I want to focus and concentrate? Well, maybe this is a test of my abilities.
Oh. Ya. I was approached to be this year's female House Captain for Julius! This is cool and awesome man. I have never been one before. This is a new experience in my last year of secondary education. Haa. I am nuts. Okie, I am ending here. I got to do some revision.

Wells, I haven't been blogging for a week. Many things have happened in this entire week. So many things and problems which are revolving around my closest friends and loved ones. I'm pretty worried for mei xuan. She's like so vulnerable inside yet strong on the outside. I'm kinda upset for her, her birthday just passed and she had to deal with so many whats and knots. Sigh. I thank god none of these things are happening to me and if any of you all need my help, just approach me. Valentine's day is approaching. This year is kinda complicated for me. Sigh. I really don't know what's approaching or is going to happen to me. And anyways, I'm neither attached to anyone yet. Sigh. Alrights, I need to go now. Bye.

So wells, I'm here to update my blog during this Chinese New Year Season. Actually before my reunion lunch at home, I was looking through Siew hong's blog and it kinda made me sad. I had no mood to enjoy the steamboat after that. I kept thinking when I will leave the team and how my life will be without trainings. It's just horrendous just to think. I was silent throughout the meal, which made my parents thought something was up with me. Haa. I was pretty upset. I went to my room to message chew ling and she advise me not to think about it till then. I heed the advice. I'm so upset now, though. I want my sweetest coach to remain and my team. However, something sparked me. I was wondering so what if we win or lose now that we have lost, we will be out of the school just in a matter of time. Hence, I would rather choose not think or reminsce the times we so enjoyed being together. iLOVEtheteam simply so much! That I simply don't want to let go. Everyone watched everyone grow up. It's like leaving my siblings behind somewhere. Anyways, I don't want to ponder over it anymore. It makes me real hurt inside. Sometimes I just wished we don't have to grow up but just remain in this little land of treasury. Sigh ... Alrights, I have got to go. Happy Chinese New Year, ppl!

Hellos. Today is the first tournament match I have against Anderson Sec. I'm such a imbecile. I didn't perform up to my standard in the first three quarters and later on in the last quarter, I hoped for a miracle to happen though I fought very hard for the last one. I have learnt a lesson from this and I will never do it again. I feel so ashamed of myself because of my stupid way of thinking. I'm going to give my all in the next four quarters to come. I shall show the world that I'm a fearless netballer. I shall be afraid of no one on the court ever again. Frankly speaking, I was very afraid of my goal-shooter. I was afraid that I couldn't intercept her ball and almost every other thing. I planned on winning today's match and this is the outcome. At first, I did not want to accept the fact that we lost to Anderson. For goodness sake, we were as good as them! We were about to beat them in the second quarter! Everything was so close. I'm trying to forget about this game. I shall take this as a lesson learnt.

Hellos. I've been real busy lately. Lessons are until 3.30 pm or even later with trainings. I'm trying to focus as much as I can. Maths lesson today was really hectic, Mdm Yap went a little too fast beyond my usual speed. I'm having a slight headache now. Aw . . . I'm totally unlucky. Yesterday during PE lessons, we were playing modified games when someone jumped up for the ball and elbowed me in the chest. It hurts quite badly. Ouch. I will be having several common tests next week, need to plan my time real wisely this weekend. I think I'm burning the midnight oil or something tonight. All this is pure hardwork. I don't even have time for a relationship. I messaged ms teoh and I told her about my chest injury, she said I was accident-prone. However, it's true what. I recently sprained my ankle and even risked spraining it a week ago the second time. I think I have to do lots of praying this sunday just so in case. Haa. Alrights, me signing off . . .

Hellos. It seems to me that things haven't been going smoothly for everyone. Well, maybe I haven't been doing enough for my netball team that's why everything is turning out this way. Team's attitude getting disastrous and so on. How I wished I can be given the authority or acknowlegment to yell at those people who haven't been showing the right attitude during training. Then maybe I would be yelling at myself too for not showing the right example in the first place. I guess I shouldn't be joking so much with my juniors. Also, I guess if I had to lecture someone, that someone would be myself. Recently, alot of stuffs has happened. Just yesterday, Pei wen and Elly or someone asked for help in their studies so I told them, " I guess you all should learn to help yourself first " Well, isn't that so right? If you have no intention to help yourself by having more self-discipline and getting yourself more organized in order to do better at your studies, even if you invite the world's top tutor to help you, won't he be saying the same thing I said to you? Everything's within your grasp if only you are willing to do so. You know something? All these were taught by Ms Lim. And I guess all these inspirational quotes are going to help me get through my dark corners in life. And though I know all these values of life, sometimes I find them hard to keep by. It's a really hard thing to keep by when you're really down. Everything's in the mind, I guess. Haa. I have never been a captain or anything so I think I won't understand my captains are going through. All the heavy responsibilities. Sigh. Life's getting tougher. Think positively.
I have decided to add a little space for lil Erica. It has been a week or so already. And we haven't been chatting as usual. I wonder how are we to keep this going. Well, we can choose to think about it at this point of time but we can't escape from it. Sigh. I don't want to think about it yet. Hmms, I haven't been in the proper mood lately. With my busy schedule daily, it's hard to find time to relax sometimes. Urgh. Me signing off.

Hellos. Today's Hari Raya Haji. Many things have happened since the reopening of school. I will be really very disappointed for Mei xuan if she gives up on netball. She has to get her priorities right first before deciding. Mei Xuan, whenever you need me, I will be there for you to help you get through this. Don't give up on yourself. Aiyo. I keep thinking of what she's going through and I feel like crying too. I really want to help her. Things are getting tougher and tougher for me day by day. Think positively man. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just got to perseverance till then. I just read Mei xuan's blog earlier and you can really say it dampened my spirits. This is our toughest year and we have got to fight through this. And people in order to win the battle, you have to stay focused. I'm sure you know what staying focused means. I have sacrified several things in order to be focused. And I have many more sacrifices to make. Alrights, I have to go and study already. Me signing off.

Hees. School has reopened. Well, I don't know whether I had been looking forward to it or something all this while. Haa. Anyway, the first week of school has been rather pleasant for me. I have got to know some teachers whom I find amazing or you can say interesting. Haa. Firstly, I want to say that I really like my english teacher, Mrs Lau. It's like I'm really liberated to ask any questions in her class or lessons. Next, I really find Mdm Yap, my mathematics teacher, a really focused teacher. I kind of like her lessons too. I have learnt my lesson from the past year. I'm going to be all serious this year. I fooled around and wasted my entire last year. Thinking back, I really regretted it. Anyway, what is left behind is left behind. I have to stay focused now.
I'm really very troubled by some things. A few days ago, I told Tiff some things that ended in the most tragic way. Then just yesterday, she came up to me and told me that someone still likes me alot. I feel very angry. I'm really trying hard to forget what happened. Then here comes the same thing again. I want to climb up to the highest building in this world and yell out all my frustrations. Then I will jump down the building with a parachute and let it lift me higher and higher till I feel emptiness. I want to forget!!! What do you think I am, a substitute for you? I said it once you lost me, you will never get to own me again. Do you get it? Get out of my life please.
Okie, here's a little space for lil Erica. School has reopened. I guess we don't have as much time to meet up. It's okie. We can still keep in touch through messaging okie? Haa. Ya. It's really heaven's will for us to meet on that rainy day without arranging to meet up. Haa. Okie la, i'm tired. Me signing off.

Hellos! Yay! School is reopening! I'm geared up for the new year ahead. I'm going to mug hard for everything. Ya. Time is very precious and limited for me now. There's about six months left to my chinese o' levels. Have to read more chinese newspapers! My got. My time is so constraint. I'm starting the year with a positive attitude. Hmms. This is so frustrating. My lessons will end at 3.30 pm from tomorrow onwards. Lessons will also be in home room system. Well, maybe it will be better this way. And I have an A maths re-examination coming up! I'm about to finish my revision on circular measure. I'm planning to finish it by tonight. Then I'll go on to Trigo and that's it. Oh and permutation. I'm so lame. Holidays are over and here am I not yet prepared for the paper. It's okie. I will finish it soon. Alrights, me signing off.

Hello. I spent an hour reading again but anyways the book was too difficult to resist. Ha. I will be heading overseas the day after. I'm going to attend a mourning because my aunt just passed away from cancer. Sometimes as I see people leaving us one by one just like that, I ponder about my life and my family. Why does everything in the world just ends in the same way? And I also wonder why there are sadness, hatred and unhappiness in the world. Arrghh. I'll just forget about it. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. I'll just live life the way I want it. Ha. *Screams. I want to play netball ! ! ! Ms teoh forbade me from getting back on the court yesterday though I proved to her I can still walk after falling and straining my ankle. It was so frustrating for me. There I was anticipating to be put in the game, and there my coach was giving my position to my team-mate. Sigh. Alrights, me signing off now.

Hello. Basically, my entire morning was filled up by netball friendlies. It was actually going to be a fulfilling day for me however everything has to turn negative for me. Sigh. I arrived at kallang this morning with my team-mates promptly. We slazed around for fifteen minutes before we began warm-up. Ms Lim arrived and well, she hasn't changed alot. She looked very solemn to me thus i didn't thought of speaking to her. Ha. Anyway, after the warm-up, the game against Tanjong Katong Girls' began. I was playing as the GK. Then there was this GS whom I always quite admire from the past because she got into the second round of the Under 14 selections when I went for the selections at 13? Ya. I played with her and I thought it was very challenging. I observed her first. The very first try she tried to get a lob and I let her be. The second time she tried for a lob, I was determined to get it. Ha. I always observe my oppenents first before I attempt to beat them at their weakness. I know my weakness and that is I am rooted to the ground. And also being not too agile. I will improve on it. Yes! There will be a netball carnival on the 8th Jan and it's at kallang! I guess so. Ha. I hope I can stretch my stamina. I think I will do skipping at home because i have limited equipments. Ha. Ya. I have to collect my IC soon! Hees. Actually I could have collected it anytime this week. Ha. I guess I'm just plain forgetful. Alrights, I'm signing off here. Ha.
Oh ya, here's a little space for lil erica. Thanks for your surprising present. I really didn't knew there was a doll inside of the jar filled with stars. Hees. You really never fail to surprise me with your gifts. Ha! Okie, you must hug the lil cookie monster I gave you. I spent alot on it. Ha. Okie. Take care. =)

Hello. I did plenty of shopping today. I went shopping with my elder sister! It was rather tiring. Firstly, we went to Bugis and she began looking for her boyfriend's xmas gift, I though it was kind of late already. Ha. She went into many shops and I was so tired tagging behind her. Ha. After 2 hours of walking and shopping, we ended up with nothing. She was so frustrated with herself that she kept wailing to me. It was getting frustrating for me then. Ha. Then we headed to Heeren and Far East. It was strenuous for my legs. I just kept walking and walking. Ha. Phew. I'm sleepy now. I will update again after my friendly match tomorrow. Good night.

Hellos. Yesterday was Christmas day! Well, just like it has been for the past 15 years, it was as usual boring. There was nothing done to celebrate this occasion in my household. However, I'm so glad to have bestfriends. I'm going to have gift exchanges with Mei xuan and they all. Most importantly, I'm having gift exchange with Erica! Ha! Last night, I went down to the badminton court just below my flat to play a game of badminton with my sister. It was a game of endurance. I was running crazily around the court with my sister serving at different directions. Most importantly, I learnt that I could very well enjoy my lil sister's company. We were laughing endlessly at our mistakes in the court. Well, my sister was super hyper and she didn't seem to be the least tired or exhausted during the 40 mins game. We played throughout. My tee was soaking wet. I had a nice workout, I thought. Haa. However, I guess I shouldn't have played crazily because after the game, I felt a tinge of pain in my right ankle. I guess it has not recovered entirely yet. Anyway, I am all well and fine this morning. Alrights, me signing off now.

Hellos. Happy Merry Christmas in advance! Today's christmas eve and I'm spending it by sitting by my computer and updating my blog now. I went out with my parents to Parkway Parade earlier. You can say I'm feeling very fed up now. I could have just stayed home all day or head out with Mei xuan or anything but go out with my parents. It seemed like I'm the only daughter of this family. My younger sister went to Orchard to count down while my elder sister went to meet up with her boyfriend. It's real frustrating okie. Well, you can say I'm leading a boring life. That said, I would rather head out to do anything than stay lurking around my dad. Something happened in the car earlier when we were coming back from the shopping malls. My dad was driving when this car overtook him without him realizing and both of the cars nearly collided. It was a close shave. He was so mad that he kept swearing and yelling in the car with vulgarities that I thought that I had a crazy father. I really wonder what would happen to him if he meets up with a gangster driver. He sure would be beaten to a pulp by swearing at the other driver. And when that happens, I don't want to give a damn. The only thing I will do then is to save more money as he would be hospitalised, causing his job to be at stake. Hmms, last night I was like chatting with Siew hong over msn. She told me all her problems. I mean I'm not in her position, I won't understand it. I wished ms lim would be back soon to help her in her decision-making. She wants to step down as the vice-captain. As you know, she has been doing alot of work ever since ms lim left the team. Someone who keeps on doing her stuffs and dosen't get the right recognition will definitely be upset. Sigh. I'm quite troubled over this matter too. Nevermind, we will stay positive together. Fight this battle!
Hmms, here's a little space for lil erica. Aiyo, I went to Parkway Parade to find a lil prezzie to enhance your main prezzie. However, sad to say, there are very few shops related to what I wanted to get for you. Thus, I ended up with nothing on the way back. Haa. But don't worry la. I got it all prepared for you already. Haa. I'm so dog-tired now. I feel like dropping on my bed and sleep till morning dawn. Ooh. Then I can exercise at that period. Haa. I'm nuts. Alrights, me signing off.

Hellos. Today is basically a boring day. I spent an hour reading an interesting book, was glued to it. I'm still bothered over my performance at Springfield yesterday. I keep on pondering over it. I need to do something about it. Remember I'm seeking fulfilment everyday? My task is failing me. Sigh. I feel so upset. This afternoon while I was watching the television, there was this scene where a son got slapped by his father. It flashed some memories across my brain. I began feeling very angry while reminscing everything. The thing was the son punched his father back. I wished I could have done that at that point of time. I cannot forget the incident. Everytime I'm alone and dreamy, I would start thinking back. It is very torturous for me. I wished there were trainings daily, so I don't have to face my father at all. It's not that I really hate him to the core. I don't know how to describe it. There's a tinge of hatred, that kind of thing you know. I feel so not at peace with myself lately. Sigh. Forget about it. I must enjoy my weekend this time. The ho ho ho! weekend. Haa. Ya. Trying to stay positive. Me signing off.

Hellos. Today we had a friendly match with Springfield Sec. I did not perform to my utmost during the matches. I'm so frustrated with myself all along during the game. The GS was very agile and quick reactive, I could not keep up with her. She kept moving about in the goal-circle, wearing me down. Let me recall my mistakes.
1. I had alot of wrong timings in intercepting the ball
2. I was not looking at both the ball and the oppenent
3. I was very rooted to the ground.
Lastly, I have poor stamina and slow reaction!
Well, I don't know how did I react at the raffles' games one. Sigh. I guess I have to be more determined. I'm practising on my jumping these few days by jumping and skipping about. Haa. Next, I need to focus on my timing. I need more precision. Alrights, I'm taking my mind out the court now.
After the game, we went to tampines mall for lunch! Had Long John Slivers! It rocks man. Hees. Then met erica there too. My team-mates kept on laughing at him till he malu. Haa. Anyway, I got him an xmas prezzie already. Very cute one okie. Haa. Hmms, I need to train up on my stamina. I want to go jogging and do timing? No la, taking my timing is very torturous one. Hees. I will see how. My knee and ankle is still under maintenance*. I need to rest and recover soon. However, I'm not slacking this weekend. Skipping and jumping! Hees. Ya. That's the way. I must stay positive! Me signing off.

Hellos. I'm quite boiling mad today as something real idiotic happened to us at queensway. Anyway, I bought my netball shoes already. It's $96. Okie, this is it. Today Siew hong, Chew ling, Amanda and myself went to Queensway to purchase our shoes except siew hong. On our trip there, we chatted and had lots of fun. Phew, I'm real sleepy now. Okie, then we arrived there after a strenuous one hour of changing transports. We were like walking around there looking for the best price we can get for a pair of gel pivot 2. Then we walked into this shop with an Indian shopkeeper and alot of his employees, who are mainly Indians. Anyway, the shop is called SAH sports centre. There was this young Indian man who served us. We were looking for the gel pivot 2 and we asked about its price. He said $103 or something. We thought it was more expensive than any other shops in Queensway shopping centre. We were about to walk out when the man asked us what is our budget and what kind of shoes we are looking for. We told him netball and the budget was under $100. He told us we shouldn't look for asics shoes with a hundred dollar budget. I thought he was lame. We then told him we needed shoes for netball. He introduced us another pair of shoes which was what the volleyballers in our school were using. He told us it was $79 and that it was the cheapest around there and if we could get the same pair of shoes under that price, he would give us a free pair. That was the most dumbest thing I have ever heard from a shop attendant. Amanda ignorantly went to the other nearby shop and asked for the identical pair and we found out that we could easily get the identical pair under $79. She then went back to the previous store and began negotiating with the boss since the young guy who attended to us earlier wasn't there anymore. She told the boss everything and the boss was speaking to us until he stupidly said, " I give you $69," and then added " $55" We asked him how about the gel pivot 2, the one we wanted and he said $55. Now thinking back . . . How dumb can he be. Although I know he is fooling around with us but it was real dumb of him. Siew hong hurriedly said she wanted three pairs then. The shopkeeper then said no more stock, wait till tommorrow. Siew hong then asked for the displayed one. He told us he only had one shoe of the pair there. Idiot right . . . I feel like slapping that man on the face now. Anyways, iLOVEmygelpivot2!
Now .. . Here's a little space for little erica! Hmms, I went to Queensway today and tried looking for a suitable present for you but to no valid. Haa. Actually I wanted to get you a tee, however, I didn't know your size! You looked so skinny. How to buy for you. Haa. Ya, thankfully I got the presents for my two other friends. But, don't worry! I will get you a present that is nice. Haa. I cannot say I will get you a present that you like. Wa ha ha ha. Okie la, I'm very sleepy now. But not sleeping yet. Hees. This entry for you is longer than the previous one right? Hees. Good night, lil erica! Me signing off.

Hellos. I'm not really satisfied with myself today. Well, today we had a full-day training. It was super tiring but enriching. I wished there were more of such events. To cut it short, we played with cedac the entire morning. The very first match I had with them was not very pleasant for me. I felt very uncertain about the game, not as confident or determined to get the ball as the previous time. Then came the second match, I know I wasn't going to perform well either. Well, maybe I must say my mistakes are eating into me. Then finally came the fourth match. I was very determined to do my stuffs then. I simply told myself to do my thing. I was rather satisfied in that match only. The rest that was to come was not very fulfilling for me. Hmms, in today's match, I realized that I wasn't as determined or aggressive to get the ball. Or I would rather say I needed to improve on my communication with mabel. No one's perfect as the saying goes. I need more improvement. I'm very tired now but I know I didn't give out my utmost in today's match. I'm dissapointed in myself. After that, we had pizzas for lunch. It was super hilarious la. We played games to finish the food. Alot of people got sabo except me, see I'm so lucky! Hees. Then the second part of training began. It was fun! However, I was very lethargic already. Disappointing la today. I must outperform myself in thursday's match at springfield! I must promise myself. Aiyo, then just now I hit ms teoh in the face. Feeling so apologetic towards her. I keep on bumping into her in court. Haa.
Okie, here's a little space for little erica! Aw. I'm so eager to see the hp accessory! Hees. Aiyo, I'm very sleepy now la. I will write a longer entry for you the next time okie. Remind me okie. I'm stopping here. Me signing off.

Hellos. I had a enjoyable morning. Hees. My mom had to head to work at 2 pm today thus I could spend the enitre morning with her. I really missed thise times when she always took me along when she headed to somewhere. Wells, this morning my mom wanted to go to the prime-mart and she asked me along. Then I was like chatting with her on the way there like we used to, it was so fun. It felt just like I was a young kid. I guess I have not grown out of it. I am very attached to my mom. Haa. Yay~! I will be having training or a friendly match tomorrow. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly. I will pray tonight. Hees. And also hopefully ms teoh is safely back in s'pore by now or later. I don't want anything untowards to happen to my loved ones. Especially the team and my family and hmms, little erica. Haa. Me signing off.

Hellos. I plainly wasted my entire day. Actually, I thought of heading to Tampines mall for some xmas shopping but when I got there, I thought twice about it. I lost my mood for christmas shopping. There were so many people there, it was so crowded. As you know, I hate crowded places. So I have lost the festive mood, what I did there was plainly window shopping. It was rather boring. However, you can say I gained some ideas for xmas prezzies. Hees. Yay~! I was like looking around the shops for some reasonably nice ear studs. I eventually bought one from the 'Helen' shop. I'm simply sleepy now. I just want to doze off on my sweetie bed right at this moment. I guess I won't be going online already. Sorry, little erica~!
Here's a little space for little erica. Hehs. Yesterday's video conference over msn was chic. Haa. You looked so cute hiding under your blanket with your large eyes looking out. You looked like a cookie monster! Haa. Ya. You say you cut your hair already but I don't see much difference. Hees, maybe because I haven't been meeting you lately thus I forgot your previous hairstyle. Haa. I was shopping today for xmas prezzies when I came across a little soft-toy just like your terrier dog, it was cute! Hees. Ya. Hmms, I'm still wondering what to get for you. How would you like an Adidas perfume(colange), what do you call that? Haa. Ya. So many ideas yet so little time. Hees. Alrights, I'm dead-tired. Me signing off.

Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person! Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense What you bring to relationships: Honesty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Hellos. Today was basically a boring day. There were no outings. I actually intended to head for a jog earlier on however the weather was unfavourable towards me. Sigh. I am still brooding over what happened yesterday. I will never forget it since it happened twice. I actually tried to forget about it since the first time. Hmms, I'm trying to look for a suitable blogskin to fit my mood now. I really wished there was netball training now, or at least for today. I'm so addicted to training. Wells, maybe I just missed the atmosphere I have at trainings, with everybody laughing and joking. I really love the atmosphere and activities. Sometimes I really wonder whether I'm happy being in this family, so many things have happened and I'm really stressed being in this family. I want a getaway. I would rather spend my entire day at school for trainings than stay at home during a weekend. It's getting from bad to worse. My weekends ain't any good. It's become to such an extent that I somehow detest heading home for weekends nowadays. Well, maybe I should head out with my friends during the weekends and just plainly ignore the family. I'm practically sicked of this. Some people might think that I'm washing dirty linen in public. I'm telling some foul tales about my family. But this is just my life. I'm having a hard time growing up now. And I'm only 15. Sigh. Alrights, me signing off. Staying Positive~!

Hellos. Yesterday was my dearest mommy's birthday. However, sad to say, it was another upset day. And this hatred within me is growing.
Yesterday was actually a very fruitful day. My mom took me out to Bishan to trim my hair slighty short and also to get her birthday cake or shop. After trimming my hair and paying $18, we headed to junction 8 to shop. On the way there, my mom bought several clothes at the nearby shops outside. Then we got into the shopping mall and my mom began searching frantically for the shop u2, because she had a $15 voucher to spend. We found the shop and she asked me to select some jeans. My clothes exceeded $100 man. Then we headed home. My dad was ill after coming back from china and my mom had to buy the cake herself when she's the birthday woman. How pathetic is this! Anyways, we headed home with my dad coming to Bishan to fetch us. My mom's dinner was at home. They went to buy cooked dishes from hawker centres and they brought them home. There were crabs too. After the dinner, I felt bored as there was nothing much to do and I keep on thinking of playing with the netball. Thus, I made a stupid mistake. I asked my younger sister to throw the ball to me while I ran around the living room. Dumb of me, right? She unskilfully throw into a bowl of soup on the dining table which spilled all over the floor. My mom came out and she began yelling at us but she cleared the area up. After that, I made an apology card to my mom and I think she forgave me. Then it was time for her to cut her cake. My elder sister wasn't at home yet and my mom refused to blow the candles as she thought that her daughters had no heart for her at all. At that time, it was already 9 pm plus. My mom cried as she blew the candles, the scene was very saddening. I cried myself too. I felt the pain for my mom. She left the living room for her room. My dad stood there and he said something which made me boiol up and swear that I would never forgive him again. At first, he said that my little sister was a liar or something say she will come back home at certain time but is nowhere to be seen. Then he began with my elder sister too saying she bluff the parents or something. Then he got to me but he stampered. He got nothing to say about me. However, he forced out saying "You I don't know," and "You answered back at me all the time" And I was like what the hell. It has since been two whole weeks since I have answered back at him particularly since the day he slapped me. I was so mad that I cried. I was here trying to change and he was there still saying about it last night. Wells, I have changed. How about him?! Yesterday while I was in the car and he was driving, a car went close to him and he yelled out the F*** word. I was stunned when I heard it and I told myself that this man have not change. I really detested him when he blurted out that word. I had already indicated in the previous entries that a man who shows no respect for himself earns no respect of mine. And with this, I will not forgive him till he has changed. And till he has changed, the hatred inside me is continually brewing to blow up one day. I don't care who he is even if he is my father. I don't give a damn. Me signing off.

Hellos.
Bascially, today was another boring training day. My ankle is recovering relatively fast, I guess I sprained a muscle in my ankle or something. It is recovering quickly. What I am afraid now is that I will get a sore throat next tuesday because I think I'm having an ulcer in my throat now. It hurts when I swallow. I'm so unlucky, wells I will just stay positive. I will write about my training today. There were 10 people who arrived for training, out of 2 who were ill and me myself who was injured. However, I'm not useless. I feeded the team several balls. Hees. At least I'm of some use. I hate slacking around unless I'm sleepy or tired. Then there was the benches part. I had to feed siew hong and her group the balls before they landed. It was boring though. Haa. The only funny part was seeing chew ling swing her arms aimlessly trying to get up onto the bench. Haa. I laughed at her till ms teoh walked over to me and gave me a stare of is it so funny look. Hees. I'm feeling so guilty, my team are doing benches and I can't even jump. This is so sickenening man. I hate to slack behind lately. I mean I used to be very slow. Haa. Oh man. I'm so eager to get back on court and display or practise my skills again. I'm afraid that I might lose the . . . oh man, I have limited vocabulary. Then ms teoh, amanda and mabel is going to Genting. I have been there like umpteen times that I know the place in my heart. Drats. No holiday trips for me this year. I'm so eager to go for a holidays too~! Wells, maybe a trip to somewhere with my bestest friends or team-mates might do good but it's all too late. Fifteen more days before school reopens. I'm doing a countdown here. Haa. iMISStrainings~! I can't wait till tuesday~! Hopefully, I will be all well and fine by then. My team-mates too. And, my coach too. Haa.
Alrights, here's alittle space for little erica~! Haa. Remember I asked you if you could steal something from me, what would you steal? I never thought that you would want to steal my heart! Haa. It's nice of you to say that though. And you know what? You are half-way there in stealing my heart! Isn't that pleasing to your ears too? The bad thing is, holidays are coming to an end and I can't chat with you daily at night like we do now. I don't have the time. I guess that will be the obstacle we will have to overcome. Haa. Okie, me signing off now.
Take Care, people~! I want you all well and in one piece on tuesday. That's the day we will reign as a team!

Hellos~ Aiyo, I just removed the bandage from my ankle this morning. My ankle still hurts man and it's still very weak, I want to go and strengthen it soon. I'm so bored but I have got to stay patient with myself. I want to do so many things when my ankle has recovered. I want to play basketball, netball and go shopping~! I'm so restricted now. Aw~ Like I say, hopefully my ankle would have recovered by next tuesday. Opps. By the way, school's going to reopen again~! It's very soon. Last night, I spent some time reading some of my past entries and I made a conclusion. I was very childish in the past. I was ignorant too. But I got out of it. Then, during yesterday's friendly match, one of my juniors came to tell me I can only perform on the court when I'm angry. She was quite correct. Remember the friendly matches at RGS? The day before the match, I got slapped by my dad. That was why I was so mad and fuming inside resulting in me looking so stern during the games. However, I did my stuffs and got results. Indeed that was my most fulfilling match I have ever had though. I guess there will be more to come for me because I'm still craving for more satisfaction. I want to play in next's tuesday match~! Alrights, me signing off.

Dear bloggie~
I'm feeling very down in the dumps now. Maybe the song I'm listening to presently is affecting my emotions. I once again feel so scared of being out of the team. Out of the school and everything. I love the team so much to simply just let it go like that. I feel so scared and helpless right now. I know that good things do come to an end. I can't stop that. I'm so upset about it. In about less than 3 months or even shorter than that, I will be focusing on my studies instead of netball. I know my duties. Sigh. Why are things sometimes so uncontrollable? I want control~! These bad dreams or visons of me being out of the team is hauting me. Wells, maybe I am thinking too much about it I guess. There's nothing I can do about being out of the team though. I can only seek coaching skills after my o's. No one's life is perfect. But why is my life getting perfect already but ceasing to attain its perfection. Drats. My english language is getting from bad to worse. The year ahead is going to be a tough one. And I'm getting equipped to engage in the battle. There's not much time left. I have to read up on more books before the school's open again.
I feel so sad . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . Sadness sizzles my heart
Confusion and helplessness is one feels
Trying to break out of it
But all ends to nothing


Ha! I have written a poem~! That's how I have been feeling these days. Ah~! I feel much better now. Basically, I want to get back on the court and play my netball. I love netball. I feel passionate about it. I'm logging off now. I'm trying to stay positive about it and I guess I will feel better by not thinking about it. Me signing off.

Hellos~! I was so frustrated with myself yesterday. I don't understand why do bad things keep coming in my way. Wells, I sprained my ankle during yesterday's training. It was a huge issue to me because I'm 'banned' from netball for weeks. Well, maybe a week. I'm an addict to netball, if I don't get to play for a day, I would begin craving for it. Haa. Anyways, I'm so desperate now. I want to jump away. I hurt my stronger ankle, the right one. Sigh. I'm so mad at myself though I know that I didn't want that to happen. It was inevitable. Sigh. I'm so mad~! There will be another friendly match next tuesday and I want to participate in it. Hopefully, my ankle would have recovered. The very thought of me being restricted, I feel like killing myself. Haa. No la, I'm not so siao. However, I'm still burning inside. I want to jump~! I want to intercept balls~!
Last night, I went to see the sinseh. He rubbed my ankle till I cried. The pain was unbearable. I wanted to kick him in the face but his arms were strong and I was helpless in his reach. Haa. Anyways, this morning I woke up only to find my ankle super weak as such I broke my ankle. I couldn't walk at all. I rested my ankle for a while before I headed for the bathroom. The whole process was strenuous man. With my mom who keep on insisting that I rest at home and the bathing part. I had to sit on a stool and elevate my right leg onto a chair. I nearly gave up on coming to see you all today at school. You can say I was very unlucky however I was determined. When I finally finished doing everything and I was about to leave my block( I was downstairs already), it began to drizzle. Now, how unlucky can I be? I was asking myself at that very point of time. I limped briskly to the bus-stop and my bus arrived. I was praying and begging god to stop the rain or else I couldn't get to school at all. However, as determined as I was, I got to school. I heaved a sigh when I managed to get to school. My whole morning was so chaotic. Then I arrived at school, the only scene I saw was ms teoh speaking to the team. After their warm-up and ball-work, shortly after Bishan Park sec arrived at our school. I was so looking forward to the match of the B' div. Then finally, the long-awaited moment arrived. It was the very first match of the B'div against Bishan Park Sec. I wanted so badly to get a close view of the GK and GS area(the goal circle) so I went to sit close to the goal-posts. When I saw elly playing in the game, I felt so dejected. I wanted to play too. For your info, my facial expression is rather difficult to read. When I'm actually very happy, I might not be laughing. And when I'm very upset or sad, I might be laughing away to hide my emotions. Beneath my facial expressions and actions lies a hidden emotion. Sometimes, I don't even know whether I'm happy or sad. I'm just a sad person within I guess. That's why I always prefer to be alone. Haa. But don't leave me alone hor, my team-mates. Because you know I feel so loved when I'm around you all. Hees. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos~! I spent a great afternoon with my family at plaza singapura yesterday. My mom bought me a new jacket from I.P zone and iLOVEit~! Okies, this is going to be a short entry. I will be going for my training soon so I can't type much either. Yay~! There will be training later on. I'm so excited about it. I'm going to learn some more skills~! Yay~! Haa. Alrights, me signing off. I'm feeling kinda urgent to do something now though. Haa.

Hellos. I went to return the blessings of the gods this afternoon at 'I don't know what' street. Hees. I am only aware that it's somewhere near bugis street and OG. At first when I arrived there with my parents, I thought there were going to be alot of people however it was otherwise. We quickly returned the blessings by thanking the gods. Then, my mom took me to the temple just opposite where I was previously to pray again. Haa. We headed to OG to do some shopping later on. However, it was mostly doing my dad's shopping for his formal clothings and all that. I was bored to death, you know~! Besides that, there were so many old people there. Erm, I meant middle-aged people. Arrggh, it's just not my kind of place. It's totally crowded with all kinds of people. I was like standing at a corner watching my dad and mom select a pair of sandals for themselves. It was total boredom okie. I was so bored at the scenario that I decided to observe people. Now, there's one thing you don't know about me. I love observing people, their funny behaviour and some weird too. I began getting mad at my parents. But as you know I love my mom alot, I didn't threw my tantrum at her. I just told her that I regretted coming out with them. She understood me and after quite a while of 'long' shopping for my dad's stuffs, my mom took me up to the second storey where clothes of my age were. However, the first thing she did was taking me to the lingerie section~! Sigh. Anyways, she was looking out for bras to buy for me. You can say I was kind of uninterested because *hehe I didn't really bothered about what kind of bra I wore to places except to posh places. Haa. Joking. Things are getting too personal here. Haa. However, I got interested in getting myself some more sports bra because I guessed I hadn't enough. Haa. Anyway, there was a great sale over there so I just took what was appealing to me. Hees. Yupp. As you all know, there's fire brewing between me and my dad. At least that fire is still brewing in me. Thus, I was always with my mom all the time during the trip out. iLOVEmymom~!
Okie, here's a little space for little erica~! Hees. Thanks for helping me to look out for new stuffs over at queensway. I kept wondering whether I have been bothering you too much. But since you said it wasn't much a bother, *haa I didn't hesitated. Hees. Aiyo. I realized something today or maybe I had realized it a few days ago already. And that is, we have been messaging each other less frequently lately. Sigh. Wells, I guess feelings are fading quickly? Haa. But you are always mr nice guy, I'm always bullying you such as threatening to castrate you or spank you. Haa. Wells, I hope we can get to play basketball soon. I will have to plan again. It was so fun that day. I have to plan it again~! Hees. Alrights, me signing off.

Hellos. Training just barely ended for 24 hours and I'm missing it already. Die la. I wonder what's going to happen to me when cca is suspended after my tournament. Sigh. I have been in deep thoughts lately. I want to get my life on track. However, they have been giving me stresses. I hope that there are at least 15 people present during next week's training. iMISStrainings. Wells, let's just say I miss the team and ms teoh's laughter. I just went to look around www.netball.org.sg, the website. I was looking through when I came across a session about coaching. Wells, maybe after my o's I will go for some courses on that. I must do some planning first. Arrghh. My backside aches badly from the lunges we did during training on thursday. I guess those who did benches yesterday are having thigh and butt aches. Hehs. Hmms, I'm wondering how ms teoh is negotiating the hip-hop dance classes with her friend for us. Yay~! I want to learn dancing~! Haa. But I'm so big-sized. Haa . . . Then ms teoh lei. Haa. No offences here. I have a friendly match with Bishan Park, I think on tuesday next week. I'm hoping to trash them because I heard from mabel that they have lost some of their valuable players. Thus they are weakened. Haa. Wells, maybe not trash but beat them. Alrights, I will update you later on again. I have to head to the temple later with my mom to pray to the gods. Me signing off.

Hellos again. Wells, basically I was feeling very troubled over the team's attendance earlier on. I was so troubled about it. Then I thought about my life . . . I felt pathetic, I wanted to cry. Tears began filling my eyes again. Sigh. But no tear dropped. In less than a year's time, I would be taking my o's. I feel very uptight about it even thinking about it right now. I feel so helpless, like anytime I break down, I'm so afraid no one would be there for me to lend me a helping hand. I know I have many caring friends and I can rely on them anytime however I guess I need the mentally* helping hand. My mind is breaking down. Everyday I try to do some A maths. When I don't understand I will try doing it till I get mad and storm out of my room. That's why I realized I have only attempted the second question. Have you any idea how frustrating is that? Sigh. My greatest obstacle in my life now is A maths, I have to overcome it. Sigh. Practise, practise and more practise. Now it comes to the attendance during netball trainings. Do you people have any idea how frustrating it is to wake up early just to head to school for training with less than a tenth person? It's real frustrating. Like what siew hong said which originated from ms coral lim, Attitude is everything~! I am quite sure some people are sitiing at home slacking while we're having the years of our time training. I'm so sicked of questioning people's conscience. I understand that no one is perfect but please correct your attitude.
Phew~! My house stinks of a stench from outside now. I have no idea what smell is that. It's making me headache. Sigh. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos. I had training this morning again. However today's turnup for training was worse than before. Wells, maybe it was always the same. We began training with a 2 km run around our school. We were made to do benches after that. I was excused from doing it. Yay~! -.-lll Do you how much I yearned to do benches when I saw you all did it. I'm aware of the benefits from doing benches and I wanted to do it too but my stupid knee la. We did several drills then, I could sense that ms teoh was fuming inside because of our mistakes? However, she did not blow up. Haa. Then there was my favourite part of training, the court game. However, after taking a look at the pathetic amount of people who were present, my heart took a dip. I was so sad la. I was depressed by the scene too. Sigh. Why are people so inconsiderant as to crash all those in the team who has aspirations to be future netball nationals? Haa. Being too spastic here. But it's possible. Haa. Ya, I was playing the half-court game. I was defending siew hong and then I raised up my hand to defend the ball from getting to another person. Haa. The hand was in mid-air. Then ms teoh came along to sprint out for a ball when she was stopped in her tracks by my long* hands. Actually is she hit me lor, she ran out and banged into my hand not the other way round. Haa. Anyways, aiya I give in to her la. She say hit then hit lor. Later I get punished by her. Haa. And you know where my hand hit her? It was hilarious. After that, I began to warm up for the more intensive defending. And soon everything ended. That was it.
We headed to Compass Point to have our lunch at kfc. We had the ball of our time~! Hees. Actually I'm pretty tired now. I will update you about what happened at hougang mall later. Me sighing off.

Hellos. Today I once again had training in the morning, I think? Haa. I don't want to ponder over matters that saddens me again. Still remember I told ms teoh that my knee hurts. Haa. I think she siao one. At the beginning of the training, she excused me from the jumping drill and after that there was the half-court game and she allowed me to jump, jump and more jump~. Haa. Anyways, I really hope my knee recovers soon. I want to be free to jump, jump and to jump some more~! My life in netball is beginning to take its shape. I really wish I can continue to play netball for a long, long time . . . Haa. I love ms teoh, ms lim, ms kang and netball. And I love the whole team~! They have been guiding me since sec one. Hees. How I wish good things can continue to go on. -.-lll What am I saying? Haa. Anyways, I enjoyed today's half-court game again. I get to defend ms teoh and I still find it challenging. Hees. Ya. Then the pei wen when I defend her, she kept on using her back to distort me from getting the ball so I just had to keep really close to her to prevent her from getting the ball.
Sigh. I read Siew hong's blog. It really saddens me la. I don't know where the team is getting to. I mean we all know our goals for the team but is anyone putting enough effort to come early and do the right things? It is only when we attempt the little things carefully then we can grasp the greater things in life. Sigh. I can only say punishments does nothing, it's all in the mind. If you choose to wake up earlier to come to school punctually and everyone in the team does that, this would be a perfect team but not yet perfect. Sigh. With the meagre amount of people coming for training, there is limited we can do. Please people, be considerate la. Alrights, me signing off here.

Hellos. I have been feeling depressed deep inside lately. Ever since I got slapped by my father, the feeling have been lingering inside. But I focused my mind on netball instead to divert my anger. Sigh. I loved playing netball since we played with cedac that very friday. Too bad in a few months' time, I will have to focus on my studies instead of netball. There will be no more netball for me. I guess I will just have to treasure the little time I have with the team from now on. Sigh. Just when I'm embarking on a new journey to the amazing world of netball when I know my time's going to be up. I'm so upset because of this. I don't want to leave the team or have another person as my coach. My mind is set to join netball as my cca again when I head over to tertiary education. I love netball so much. That said, my body is like breaking down already. My knees are giving me constant problem. I guess that's because I have been jumping quite frequently. Hmms, I'm thinking of joining a netball club or something when my o's are over. That way, I can continue learning new techniques or skills to use on court.
Yes~! Tomorrow there will be training~! I'm so looking forward to it. I hope there will be court game and hopefully I will get to learn new skills again. Ms teoh just taught me a new skill yesterday. I have yet to master it. I will master it. Hees. Me signing off here.

Hellos. After that slap from my father, I have changed my perspective of things. I have become a more determined person. I do what I have to do. The very instance of him slapping me with the newspaper keeps on flashing through my head. I can't forget it.
I woke up this morning and I thought about something last night. I pondered and I realized that it's no use of me trying to fight back against him because he's the head of the house and I'm just a nobody who depends on him for my living- my survival. Thus, I have decided to leave him alone and keep in to myself. I'm not going to talk to him at all. I went ahead to do my duty by vacuuming the floor mid-morning with the help of my younger sister. After that, I bathed and prepared to head for training.
Training was fun today, at least for me. I arrived at school. Training was dreadful today because there were only nine people who were present. You can say it was pathetic. Besides that, the keys to the pe store was missing or not with the right person. Thus, we didn't had the right stuffs for training. Mabel suggested heading to the gym for a workout and Ms teoh went ahead with that. After that, we came down to the parade square and did ball handlings and drills. Now, here's the fun part. Ms teoh wanted to play half court thus we had to oblige her. Hmms, not in terms of play la, she wanted to train us. It was so fun~! I had the chance to defend her~! It was super challenging~! And I loved it. I could try out the different stuffs I was taught. And I intercepted a few balls. I yearned for the half-court game to go on. It was so fun however I was not doing the right stuffs la. I was slacking there sometimes. Hees. I guess I didn't treasured the precious time I could to defend my own coach~! It was awesome man. Hees. If I can try it again, I will try to defend her with my utmost effort. Hees. So fun man.
Alrights, here's a little space for little erica. Hees. I actually didn't believe you at first when you said you could create my face with the icon. Now you can spread it far and wide. My face~! I'm gonna be famous~! Haa. Hees. I'm joking here. I'm glad that you have the thought to do what I thought you couldn't do. Ha. Thanks okie. Okie, me signing off le.

Yesterday, something happened in my life that would forever change my perspective of life again. I feel very fumed up thinking about it. I hate been discriminated at and yesterday was the day I got treated like a dirt.
4th of Dec, and I will always remember this date.
Yesterday morning, my mom woke me up as I wanted badly to join them for breakfast and you can say I was very sleepy because I only had barely 7 hours of sleep as I slept around twelve the night before. I freshened myself and prepared to head for breakfast and later to visit my grandma, and guess what my Dad said, he said "You come for what?" Then my mom asked him to keep quiet. Anyways, I was quite used to it already thus I ignored his remark. I always treasured the little breakfast times I have with my parents because both of them were working day in and out. I hardly get to spend time with them these days compared to before. We left the house. After breakfast at a coffeeshop, my Dad walked real quickly away and it was very frustrating for me and my mom. So I messaged him and said, "Idiot we're at the medicine store". I always hated him for walking so fast and leaving my mom behind. As everyone knows, I'm very close to my mom. Then we met up with him and he seemed normal. We headed home first to put the breakfast on the dining table for my sisters to eat later on. Then, while my mom was in the toilet, my dad came to the kitchen and asked me to boil the water and later follow him to the petrol station with the bikes to inflat the tyres. I was very fed up for him asking me to do this and that. For your info, I have to vacuum the floor at least twice a week on my own. And I have to take care of the household too, such as washing my toilet or hanging out the clothes when my mom isn't at home. I was very sicked of doing all that during weekdays and he asked me to do it on a weekend- my breakday. Thus, I said "Sucker, why don't you do it yourself or ask daphne to go and do it or follow you to the petrol kiosk?" , " Why are you always depending on me?" The worse thing was he seldom asked my little sister or elder sister to do them and I'm the middle child?! I was very sicked of him always shielding my younger sister even though she has committed something wrong. And for your info again, he dosen't dare to beat my sister or scold her when she does something wrong. By the way, my younger sister uses vulgarities on him too, why didn't he slapped her? Worse still, he himself uses vulgarities too! I ask you logically, WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO SAY THAT I SCOLD HIM VULGARITIES? Furthermore I don't use words such as F***er, it is he and my younger sister who uses them. He who dosen't show respect for himself by scolding vulgarities, has no right to ask another person to stop saying it to him if he dosen't change even though I'm his daughter. If he shows no respect to himself, he shall gain no respect of mine.
We headed to my grandma house then. On our way back, I forgot what was the reason, my dad got mad at my mom and the car was silent. By the way, my dad was already mad at my mom the previous day. So both of my parents were mad at each other. My mom got out of the car when we reached home, being closest to her, I followed her. All of us got back into the house. He got into his room and started saying my mom nags alot ever since she worked and he added that he was sicked and tired of me calling him idiot, f***ker and sucker. Okie, recalling back. Did I say him F***ker? The fact was NO! He put words in my mouth by saying I said that word. I stood up and argued with him. While my mom was in the kitchen, he who was arguing with me from his room came towards the living room with a newspaper and, HE SLAPPED ME WITH THE NEWSPAPER! He gave me a tightslap. I will never forget this particular day where he slapped me when I'm 15~! I'm 15 okie, and he slapped me. Without regards to logics. He did not showed the example by being a good father from the very first time he said the vulgar word~! It was even worse when he as a father showed discrimination between his daughters. I hate him. You slapped me, and I will never forget that day where I received a slap when I'm not in total wrong. The very wrong was made by you at the very start. I will never forget this slap. I will not take it for nothing. My tears kept flowing the day before that I swore never to drop another tear because of your stupid mistake! I still won't understand why I got slapped by you. I will show the world who is the right or wrong . . . Anyways, since he accused me of scolding him that F word, I was totally outrageous and since he wanted to hear that word so much by accusing me. I shouted across the kitchen to the toilet where he was the F word. Me and my mom then took our stuff and walked out on him. What even infuriated me was when I got home later in the night and I was about to sleep when I talked to my younger sister about the turd* and she said, " You still call him names ". I then said you shut your mouth up la, you scold mom all the vulgarities I can think of too. You have the least right to tell me what to do. My younger sister cannot get along well with my mom, so alike me and my dad can't get along too. I slept with hatred fuming inside my heart last night. I wanted to vent my anger out or to slap my dad back to let him relish the feeling of being slapped. Then I recalled what my mom told me before we got back into the house, "Keep your cool". That was on my mind the entire night.
I got up this morning feeling very tired. I headed for Raffles Girls' for my friendly match. On the way there, I thought of how I wanted to play later on. I was wondering should I allow my anger to distract me during the game or make use of it? Then, I made the right decision. I wanted to vent my frustrations out on the court. I wanted satisfaction without disappointment. I went into the game and I came out fully satisfied . . .

Hellos~! I had an awesome time today. Mei Xuan and I arranged to meet at compass together with bran for a study time. Sigh~! After a while of studying, the 'can't focus' Mei Xuan decided that she couldn't focus anymore and she wanted to play bball then. I accompanied her. Actually we wanted to have bran along but he didn't want to join us thus we bid him our byes at the bus-stop before the bus head for punggol. Ha ha. Before that, I must say right timing huh. Erica messaged me to ask me where was I or something and I told we were going to play bball soon and he wanted to join us. He seemed so eager to join us. Ha ha ha. Yupp. We waited for him at the bus-stop for quite a while and then the both of us decided to seat down at the near-by void-deck to chat. Stupid erica took quite a long time to arrive. Thus, Mei Xuan and I chatted about alot of stuffs. He came and we went to play bball after mei xuan got the ball from chun siang's house. Ha ha ha. Initially, I teamed with Mei xuan then I began to team with little erica. Yay~! Erica and me won several games. It was awesome man. I have never enjoyed bball as game as much as today man~!
Here's a little space for little erica. Yea. I had an awesome time with you all today playing bball man. Hees. Got time, we will arrange next time to play bball together again~! Yay~! Hees. Actually I got nothing much to write for you today because we met today. No need to write alot la. Hees. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos people~!

I went sentosa with mabel, xuan, shi jing,

bran,wei sheng and a malay guy.

Haas, sorry. I forgot his name. Hees.

Wells, basically we spent tons

of time playing volleyball.

It was fun. I learnt new techniques while

playing the game. Hehs.

The most surprising thing that happened to me was

a few guys came to ask for my number~!

I'm so honoured~! Haas.

I went into the water when I was not supposed to. Hehs.

Wells, to round it all,

I enjoyed my day totally yesterday.

Oh ya, I'm a little burnt.

Then after that, I went home together with mab, bran and the malay guy.

Mab went out of the train together with bran.

Sighs. I thought they were having a great time together.

That was when bran called me on my phone and asked me where was I.

He couldn't talked to her.

Aiya, that was what I thought la.

Poor guy. Mabel ar, reply to his msges la.

Here's a little space for little space for little erica.

I know you're at cloud nine because I said you were

very sweet to me right? Hees.

Aiyo, my eyes are still hurting though I have

rested it for a day. Painful~!

I'm also sweet to you right? See

I'm so bhb right? I'm like that one. Because

got people ask for my number then I became

bhb. Wa ha ha ha.

Then I just want to leave an advice for bran. Don't

think too much about it la. Take it slowly and

you will reign at the end of the road.

Hmms, actually I'm in no position to advise

you because I myself is not an expert in

relationships. I give you all my luck to go woo her.

Hehs.

Alrights, me signing off here.

Hellos~! I did not had a plentiful day. I spent my time idling. Time was spent like trash threw into waste paper bins. Today, you can say was a happy sibling day~ My busy* younger sister is always going out every single day. I cannot even play or chat with her that I wonder why were we sisters. Until today she spent the time with me by heading out with me to a simple and nearby place, Compass point. Ha ha ha. We had the hell of our time man. I love her idiotic but lovely company. I'm so used to growing up with her since young until now that now she begins spending her time on other areas, I feel uneasy or upset. Though we quarrel almost every other day, iLOVEher as my younger sister. I had an awesome time with her today though it was irritating at the same time.
Alrights, here a little space for little erica~! Yay~ I'm heading to sentosa tomorrow but you can't make it. Isn't it such a waste? Hms, see la you . . . Aiya, nevermind next time we arrange again and we'lll head there together okie? Heh hehs. Oh ya, remember I asked you a question earlier on. "What if I leave you?" And I guessed you didn't really dared to reply me right. Ha ha ha. You have any idea why I asked that question? Actually I just wanted to see how would your reaction be. Because you never know what will happen to me tomorrow. Wa ha ha ha. Heh hehs. Alrights, I will signing off here. Take care, boy.

Hellos bloggie~! I had an awesome day today. My dad took the family except my elder sister out because she had to study for some stuff. Basically, I woke up rather late this morning at around nine o'clock and I began watching a detective drama serial till one o'clock in the afternoon because the show was simply unmissable~! I loved it~! Hms, I feel so dehydrated now. Well, maybe because I had taken in too much carbohydrates or food. Let me take a drink first.
Okie, I'm back. I decided that I needed something refreshing to refresh my mind and gruelling stomach. We went to plaza singapura today. I really liked that place alot because it's not too crowded as the other places in orchard. I can tell you I'm really afraid to be alone in a really crowded place, I might even squat down and start weeping, you know. I guess I have such a phoebia. *Screams! I'm becoming fatter~! Hms, maybe that's just mentally? I need to tone up on my stomach, I have slacked a little lately causing them to turn sagging like fats. I hate fats alot. I mean who don't hate fats. But there are good and bad fats though. And some fats are even essential to our lives. Ha ha ha. Fancy me talking some kind of crap here . . .
I'm really going into A maths from the very starting of that day tomorrow. I'm determined and I know it. No distractions though. I'm a week away from any other things except A maths. I have to focus~! Jia you~!
Here's a little space for little erica again~! Heh hehs. You know . . . every time I'm down, I will message you. When I'm up and hippy, you might not even get my msg. Ha ha ha. Joking here. I wonder whether you will do the same thing like what I do when you're sad? But remember that I will be there for you one okie. me signing off here . . .

Hellos people~! I just had a friendly match against Cedac yesterday. You can say it was the best experience I had from a match so far. I really loved playing that match. Our team was so united. We will be heading to Raffles Girls' for a carnival on 5th Dec. I'm pretty excited about it. But the way, I really want to thank my coach for teaching me the blocking skills the day before the friendly match, it really helped. I'm determined to improve my skills. I have no idea why I have become so passionate about the game. iLOVEnetball. However, I guess I injured my knee externally and internally. I will have to nurse the injury before the carnival. I had so much contentment yesterday. I am learning to seek contentment every single day I live from now on. In order to do that, I have to fulfill something a day. That way, I will live much happier. I must jia you~!
Alrights, here's a little space for little erica. Hms . . . *deep in thoughts, I know you're pretty upset about that incident in the bus. I guess both of us have been too sensitive about it. I also know we're both afraid that things don't work out the way we want it. We have just got to live it. I really don't know what to do. You know, I'm a failure at relationships. I don't know if I've hurt you, I'm sorry if I have. Wells, you're a mature guy. I hope you don't take it to heart if I've wrote anything to hurt you. I've been troubled over this matter for a while. We'll remain as friends for the time being okie? I'm not ready for any relationships yet. And I'm not ready to commit myself to one. Don't feel sad over this entry okie? Because I'm just writing my thoughts and feelings out. Okie, good night ppl. Sleep tight. Me signing off.

Hellos people~! I just got back from chalet the day before. Chalet was super fun~!
Wells, after I got home from the chalet, I had to prepare to go oout with little erica. I was super tired after vacuuming the house before heading out with him. We watched 'The exorcism of Emily Rose', he paid my share. Wa ha ha ha. The show was horrifying, it was to prove that devils do exist. It was overall a nice show, I enjoyed it in a terrifying sense. Ha ha. Then, little erica escorted me home. It was weird la, he asked me to sit with him in the bus. I mean I will understand if you asked me to sit with him in a cinema but in a bus? Ha ha. Anyways, like I say, must take things slowly, I don't want it to proceed too fast because I will be afraid. You know, I'm always paranoid. Hms, i'm tired after training, I'm going to take a short nap before I update you later. Sleeping . . .

Hellos! I just got back from the chalet at pasir ris! Woot! It was awesome man . . . I had much more fun than I thought. I just kept fooling around there. Aha ha ha. Hms, I will update at home later. Me signing off . . .

Hellos~! I practically did nothing the whole day~! This is a day without achievements.

Wells, basically I woke up at around 8 am this morning and I knew the day stood nothing for me. Thus I did nothing until this point of time. You can literally say that I have nothing much to write in my blog now. I'm feeling empty.

Okie, chicken little erica wanted me to update my blog so that he could read it later on. Here goes. Hms, we didn't messaged each other the entire evening the day before due to me watching a movie. Then, this morning we did not messaged each other till late afternoon . . . I was wondering what's wrong with him. I thought he was actually mad at me. I was pacing aroung my house when I walked past my sister who was using the computer and I saw little erica online. I quickly went online too~! I took a look at his nick and it read 'I am quite angry', that was when I thought he was mad at me. I clarified things with him and he said he wasn't mad at me. Thank god. Me acting childish here. Ha ha. Hms, I'm glad he was frank with me. Ha ha. Me signing off here.

Hellos people~! I had a splendid day yesterday. My parents took me and my family to Suntec to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire~! The best part was the movie tickets were partly sponsored by my dad's company. His company booked the entire movie theatre! Cool~! We had our dinner at the food court and then we waited patiently to enter the the theatre at the arranged timing. The show began and it was awesome la. Harry Potter had to accomplish the three tasks he was assigned to as he was selected to join the Tri-Champion thingy. The part when he had to swim underwater to accomplish his task was cool. There were gills and fins growing out of him. Cool~! Ha ha. I liked the part when he took a bath in the spring or something and there was this stupid spirit who tried to seduce him. Ha ha. Super nice man, the movie. Wells, there were new characters in the movie and they were beautiful~! -.-lll
Wells, here's a little space for little erica . . . Ha ha. Last night, I went to watch the movie thus I could not chat with him online. Aiyo, he must have been bored to death without me to chat with. Wa ha ha ha. Hms, I will write more about him later onwards. This will be yesterday's entry then. Me signing off.

Hellos people~! Yay~! I have succeeded in uploading the pics onto friendster~! ha ha ha. But with the help of little erica~! Heh hehs. I'm going to take more pics from now on. Wa ha ha ha~! I woke up this morning and I decided to accompany my parents for breakfast. You can say I had a nice breakfast at a coffeeshop - simplicity. Hms, I read Irene's blog last night and I found out she was going overseas to study . . . Wells, I strongly encourage her to do what she deem fit. Ha ha ha. I'm joking here. Yay~! I will be watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire later in the evening. I'm quite excited about the movie. Furthermore, the movie tickets were sponsored. Wa ha ha ha.
Wells, basically there's nothing much I can write about at the moment. I will update you later in the evening. Yay~! Today got the korean drama 'Love in Harvard' . . . I'm getting home early to watch it~! Ha ha ha. Little erica's spcae would be filled in later. Me signing off.

Hellos bloggie~! Today was basically a strenuous day at training. We had kick-boxing as warm-up in the morning at training. I simply thought it was merely a simple video not as tiring and intensive as what my coach described. My~! I was so stupid man . . . She's my coach~! How could I have doubted her words. Anyways, training began and ended as quickly as the wind. Today, I had a bad clash with Mabel. I don't know how to describe it la. She always makes me feel belittle of myself. She yelled at me in front of my coach and team-mates. I don't know what's wrong. I mean if you want me to improve myself, you have to give me time, not yell at me in the court all the time. You only make me feel more inferior to the rest. I guess she was mad at me for hitting the ball at her face, but don't you get it? It's not delibriately, it was an accident. I know you clashed with me several times at the drills today, you can say I was not focused enough or maybe skilled enough? Everytime you yell at me in the court with such anger within you, you have pronounced me 'dumb' or 'stupid' to have done such an act in the court, for playing in such a way. I know you don't think of me that way, however I think that way. Hms, I guess I'll learn from my mistakes. You can still yell at me in the court, just don't blow up. Everytime we quarrel, it always ends the same way. You will always hug me~! I hope it will end the same way once again. Whenever you want a hug from me, you can tell me anytime, not in public please. Ha ha ha.
Okie, good good .. . Here's a little space for little erica~! Phew! Today I went through alot and thank god you were there to listen to what I have got to say. I'm so glad to let go of some steam. Ha ha ha. And I realized you haven't been eating your meals regularly thus I have decided to come up with a plan. And that is to message you when it's mealtime~! So as to remind you to have your meals. You know something? It's bad to skip meals and it will result in you having many problems in your later life. Hence, what's the moral of the story? That is to eat your meals regularly~! Or you can grab a sandwich to eat in between meals. Or maybe you can have small meals in between the day. That will keep you focused on your work much better instead of feeling legarthic all the time. Ha ha ha. Must listen to my advice okie . . . Or else you will be castrated~! Ha ha ha. Me signing off.

Hellos~! I forgot to add something in my blog for today.
Here's a little space for little erica . . .
I think I know what is your little secret dream and I'm not surprised that you have such a dream. I mean I'm just guessing it la. I'm not sure whether I have made the right guess. You know . . . I'm under pressure. What we have done were merely chatting over msn and messaging each other frequently. Do you think a relationship can be substained by just doing that? We have only met once you know. Anyways, we have been rather frank with each other and I'm just glad that that it is. I'm pretty scared that we will advance to the second stage next year because I will have to focus on my o' levels instead of you. Will you be glad with me just doing that? Wells, like I say, we can leave this to live day-by-day. However, one should always think about the future right? Hms, don't be negative after reading this okie? You can say I'm not confident of the both of us. When I have gained enough confidence, in a way, you can provide me the support and 'facilities'- ha ha ha, I will accept . . . aha ha ha. Wells, maybe I have been thinking too much about this. Wa ha ha ha. Okie, me signing off . . .

Hellos bloggie~! Today is a kinda of meaningless day for me. I have no plans for the day. I know I could have planned it however I don't know what's wrong with me. I intend to do some self-revision by myself later on. By the way, my training tomorrow has been changed to morning. Yay~! We will be doing some kick-boxing tomorrow- fun~! Last night, I stayed up late to watch 'What Lies Beneath', which was not as nice as I thought. I was half dozing away during the show. The main actress played her role being too paranoid. Arrghh~! I have not been reading lately thus the limited vocabulary. I'm lazy. As the saying goes, someone who is not smart has to be hardworking. While I was watching the show, Irene messaged me and told me how happy she was . . . blah blah blah. Ha ha ha. Wells, you can say I was glad for her. Sometimes, I wonder what is she thinking inside that brainy mind of hers. She gave me a fright yesterday by hugging me in the middle of KFC~! I was of course embarrassed la. Alrights, me signing off here. Oh ya, Irene if you want to know what is FULL HOUSE about, message me to tell me when you're online so I can retell you the whole story. Ha ha ha. Actually, I can just tell you the gist of the story. Wa ha ha ha

Hellos~! Basically, today was not a very fruitful day . . . I started the day by studying with my friends. We agreed to meet at 10 am, however I was late thus I arrived there at 11 am? I guess so. Ya. Then we began chatting and idling around except for irene. Heh hehs. No la, Mabel was doing a worksheet. Then I had the Fish Ole meal from KFC again~! I think I'm nuts. Then the stupid Mabel and Mei Xuan said they were going to leave early to go somewhere else. So sickening. After the 'sumptuous' meal from KFC, we studied a little while more and then all of us dispersed. Ha ha ha. Fancy me laughing after that sentence. I'm nuts~! Nothing much happened today. I arrived home and I began vacuuming the floor. The job of a maid. Sigh. Ha ha ha. However, glad to say, I somehow enjoy cleaning my house because iLOVEmyhome. By the way, I will be having a friendly match against Cedac in their school next friday. We were talking about this earlier on when Mei Xuan suggested that Irene tag along. Wells, *ha ha I don't mean I don't want Irene along la, I just wanted to say I'm glad that she tagged along. It's going to be quite exciting.
Alrights, here's a little space for Erica~! Aren't you simply glad that I always leave some items for you to read? Wa ha ha ha. Unlike Irene you know, she got not much items to read. Ha ha ha. Later she come and kill me. Ya. Today, you went to watch the Cello is it? How come I have never heard of such a show before? You went to a haunted theatre is it? Ha ha ha. And just now you went Compass to buy soya milk, never buy one for me huh. Ha ha ha. I had soya ice-cream just now too~! Na na na poo poo~! Aiyo, me acting so childish here . . . Alrights, I'm going to have my dinner and watch a show first. I will be back online at 7 pm okie. Wa ha ha ha. Wait patiently okie. =)

Hellos people~! I'm back to update my blog! Today was a simple but plentiful day. Bascally, I had my training first thing in the morning. Training was always a terror in my mind. Ha ha ha. Ms Teoh made us do skipping again . . . Worse still, you combined skipping with running. I was sweating profusely endlessly that i thought I was going to collapse anytime. Aiyo, I guessed I had taken in to much carbohydates the day before. The focus for the training today was exact timing. I'm trying to master that presently. I'm not perfect. After the 'moderate' training, my team-mates and I headed to compass point to have our lunch at KFC~! I tried their Fish Ole~! It was sumptous. Well, what can you expect me to say when I was dying of hunger at that point of time? Ha ha ha. After that, I went home to sleep. Ya, I admit that I'm a pig. Anyways, I spent almost the entire night trying to resolve my mp3 problem. And I'm glad to say my perseverance paid off~! I'm so belated now~!
Here's a little space for little erica~! I'm so glad you were there for me when I was so frustrated with the mp3. You offered solutions to me and you can say although they didn't helped, you served as another encouragement. Thank you so much, little erica~! From now on, I will be calling you little erica okie. Don't bother to ask me why. You know the answer already. Wa ha ha ha. Basically, today was a day where I felt all my perseverance has paid off. No idea why either. Ha ha. Me signing off here.

Hellos people~! Actually, I have already written a entry earlier on however my idiotic elder sister went to switch off the internet modem. I am very mad at her because I have to update this whole thing once again. Wells, basically today's a special day because it's my Dad's Birthday! I would really like to thank him for bringing this family together. His presence creates this lovely family somehow . . . We went to Suntec City today and you can say I didn't really enjoy the trip there and back. I dislike crowded places, it just gives me a feeling that i'm being forced into a corner or something. Ha ha. Thus you can guess that my whole family did not enjoy going there either because I don't really like going there. Kinda of la. Ha ha ha. Actually, I have typed more than this however it got erased off because of the whole shut off thingy. I'm flared up.
Ha ha ha. Here's a little space for little Erica. Basically, we messaged each other and he told me that he took his little doggie to Punggol Plaza for a stroll? Wells, erica . . . what has that got to do with me??? Ha ha ha. Joking here. Ya. His day was boring today just like mine. Agreed? Ha ha ha. I'm bored nowadays. Wells, not actually bored, I can be really busy at times. Oh erica, don't bother about my Dad's card anymore okies because when the clock ticks at 12 tonight, his birthday's over! Wa ha ha ha~! Evil laughter! Heh hehs. Oh ya, what's that about your profile in friendster? The 'Who to Meet' section? Huh? Answer me now! H a h a. Me signing off here . . .