Hellos. After that slap from my father, I have changed my perspective of things. I have become a more determined person. I do what I have to do. The very instance of him slapping me with the newspaper keeps on flashing through my head. I can't forget it.
I woke up this morning and I thought about something last night. I pondered and I realized that it's no use of me trying to fight back against him because he's the head of the house and I'm just a nobody who depends on him for my living- my survival. Thus, I have decided to leave him alone and keep in to myself. I'm not going to talk to him at all. I went ahead to do my duty by vacuuming the floor mid-morning with the help of my younger sister. After that, I bathed and prepared to head for training.
Training was fun today, at least for me. I arrived at school. Training was dreadful today because there were only nine people who were present. You can say it was pathetic. Besides that, the keys to the pe store was missing or not with the right person. Thus, we didn't had the right stuffs for training. Mabel suggested heading to the gym for a workout and Ms teoh went ahead with that. After that, we came down to the parade square and did ball handlings and drills. Now, here's the fun part. Ms teoh wanted to play half court thus we had to oblige her. Hmms, not in terms of play la, she wanted to train us. It was so fun~! I had the chance to defend her~! It was super challenging~! And I loved it. I could try out the different stuffs I was taught. And I intercepted a few balls. I yearned for the half-court game to go on. It was so fun however I was not doing the right stuffs la. I was slacking there sometimes. Hees. I guess I didn't treasured the precious time I could to defend my own coach~! It was awesome man. Hees. If I can try it again, I will try to defend her with my utmost effort. Hees. So fun man.
Alrights, here's a little space for little erica. Hees. I actually didn't believe you at first when you said you could create my face with the icon. Now you can spread it far and wide. My face~! I'm gonna be famous~! Haa. Hees. I'm joking here. I'm glad that you have the thought to do what I thought you couldn't do. Ha. Thanks okie. Okie, me signing off le.

Yesterday, something happened in my life that would forever change my perspective of life again. I feel very fumed up thinking about it. I hate been discriminated at and yesterday was the day I got treated like a dirt.
4th of Dec, and I will always remember this date.
Yesterday morning, my mom woke me up as I wanted badly to join them for breakfast and you can say I was very sleepy because I only had barely 7 hours of sleep as I slept around twelve the night before. I freshened myself and prepared to head for breakfast and later to visit my grandma, and guess what my Dad said, he said "You come for what?" Then my mom asked him to keep quiet. Anyways, I was quite used to it already thus I ignored his remark. I always treasured the little breakfast times I have with my parents because both of them were working day in and out. I hardly get to spend time with them these days compared to before. We left the house. After breakfast at a coffeeshop, my Dad walked real quickly away and it was very frustrating for me and my mom. So I messaged him and said, "Idiot we're at the medicine store". I always hated him for walking so fast and leaving my mom behind. As everyone knows, I'm very close to my mom. Then we met up with him and he seemed normal. We headed home first to put the breakfast on the dining table for my sisters to eat later on. Then, while my mom was in the toilet, my dad came to the kitchen and asked me to boil the water and later follow him to the petrol station with the bikes to inflat the tyres. I was very fed up for him asking me to do this and that. For your info, I have to vacuum the floor at least twice a week on my own. And I have to take care of the household too, such as washing my toilet or hanging out the clothes when my mom isn't at home. I was very sicked of doing all that during weekdays and he asked me to do it on a weekend- my breakday. Thus, I said "Sucker, why don't you do it yourself or ask daphne to go and do it or follow you to the petrol kiosk?" , " Why are you always depending on me?" The worse thing was he seldom asked my little sister or elder sister to do them and I'm the middle child?! I was very sicked of him always shielding my younger sister even though she has committed something wrong. And for your info again, he dosen't dare to beat my sister or scold her when she does something wrong. By the way, my younger sister uses vulgarities on him too, why didn't he slapped her? Worse still, he himself uses vulgarities too! I ask you logically, WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO SAY THAT I SCOLD HIM VULGARITIES? Furthermore I don't use words such as F***er, it is he and my younger sister who uses them. He who dosen't show respect for himself by scolding vulgarities, has no right to ask another person to stop saying it to him if he dosen't change even though I'm his daughter. If he shows no respect to himself, he shall gain no respect of mine.
We headed to my grandma house then. On our way back, I forgot what was the reason, my dad got mad at my mom and the car was silent. By the way, my dad was already mad at my mom the previous day. So both of my parents were mad at each other. My mom got out of the car when we reached home, being closest to her, I followed her. All of us got back into the house. He got into his room and started saying my mom nags alot ever since she worked and he added that he was sicked and tired of me calling him idiot, f***ker and sucker. Okie, recalling back. Did I say him F***ker? The fact was NO! He put words in my mouth by saying I said that word. I stood up and argued with him. While my mom was in the kitchen, he who was arguing with me from his room came towards the living room with a newspaper and, HE SLAPPED ME WITH THE NEWSPAPER! He gave me a tightslap. I will never forget this particular day where he slapped me when I'm 15~! I'm 15 okie, and he slapped me. Without regards to logics. He did not showed the example by being a good father from the very first time he said the vulgar word~! It was even worse when he as a father showed discrimination between his daughters. I hate him. You slapped me, and I will never forget that day where I received a slap when I'm not in total wrong. The very wrong was made by you at the very start. I will never forget this slap. I will not take it for nothing. My tears kept flowing the day before that I swore never to drop another tear because of your stupid mistake! I still won't understand why I got slapped by you. I will show the world who is the right or wrong . . . Anyways, since he accused me of scolding him that F word, I was totally outrageous and since he wanted to hear that word so much by accusing me. I shouted across the kitchen to the toilet where he was the F word. Me and my mom then took our stuff and walked out on him. What even infuriated me was when I got home later in the night and I was about to sleep when I talked to my younger sister about the turd* and she said, " You still call him names ". I then said you shut your mouth up la, you scold mom all the vulgarities I can think of too. You have the least right to tell me what to do. My younger sister cannot get along well with my mom, so alike me and my dad can't get along too. I slept with hatred fuming inside my heart last night. I wanted to vent my anger out or to slap my dad back to let him relish the feeling of being slapped. Then I recalled what my mom told me before we got back into the house, "Keep your cool". That was on my mind the entire night.
I got up this morning feeling very tired. I headed for Raffles Girls' for my friendly match. On the way there, I thought of how I wanted to play later on. I was wondering should I allow my anger to distract me during the game or make use of it? Then, I made the right decision. I wanted to vent my frustrations out on the court. I wanted satisfaction without disappointment. I went into the game and I came out fully satisfied . . .

Hellos~! I had an awesome time today. Mei Xuan and I arranged to meet at compass together with bran for a study time. Sigh~! After a while of studying, the 'can't focus' Mei Xuan decided that she couldn't focus anymore and she wanted to play bball then. I accompanied her. Actually we wanted to have bran along but he didn't want to join us thus we bid him our byes at the bus-stop before the bus head for punggol. Ha ha. Before that, I must say right timing huh. Erica messaged me to ask me where was I or something and I told we were going to play bball soon and he wanted to join us. He seemed so eager to join us. Ha ha ha. Yupp. We waited for him at the bus-stop for quite a while and then the both of us decided to seat down at the near-by void-deck to chat. Stupid erica took quite a long time to arrive. Thus, Mei Xuan and I chatted about alot of stuffs. He came and we went to play bball after mei xuan got the ball from chun siang's house. Ha ha ha. Initially, I teamed with Mei xuan then I began to team with little erica. Yay~! Erica and me won several games. It was awesome man. I have never enjoyed bball as game as much as today man~!
Here's a little space for little erica. Yea. I had an awesome time with you all today playing bball man. Hees. Got time, we will arrange next time to play bball together again~! Yay~! Hees. Actually I got nothing much to write for you today because we met today. No need to write alot la. Hees. Okie, me signing off.

Hellos people~!

I went sentosa with mabel, xuan, shi jing,

bran,wei sheng and a malay guy.

Haas, sorry. I forgot his name. Hees.

Wells, basically we spent tons

of time playing volleyball.

It was fun. I learnt new techniques while

playing the game. Hehs.

The most surprising thing that happened to me was

a few guys came to ask for my number~!

I'm so honoured~! Haas.

I went into the water when I was not supposed to. Hehs.

Wells, to round it all,

I enjoyed my day totally yesterday.

Oh ya, I'm a little burnt.

Then after that, I went home together with mab, bran and the malay guy.

Mab went out of the train together with bran.

Sighs. I thought they were having a great time together.

That was when bran called me on my phone and asked me where was I.

He couldn't talked to her.

Aiya, that was what I thought la.

Poor guy. Mabel ar, reply to his msges la.

Here's a little space for little space for little erica.

I know you're at cloud nine because I said you were

very sweet to me right? Hees.

Aiyo, my eyes are still hurting though I have

rested it for a day. Painful~!

I'm also sweet to you right? See

I'm so bhb right? I'm like that one. Because

got people ask for my number then I became

bhb. Wa ha ha ha.

Then I just want to leave an advice for bran. Don't

think too much about it la. Take it slowly and

you will reign at the end of the road.

Hmms, actually I'm in no position to advise

you because I myself is not an expert in

relationships. I give you all my luck to go woo her.

Hehs.

Alrights, me signing off here.

Hellos~! I did not had a plentiful day. I spent my time idling. Time was spent like trash threw into waste paper bins. Today, you can say was a happy sibling day~ My busy* younger sister is always going out every single day. I cannot even play or chat with her that I wonder why were we sisters. Until today she spent the time with me by heading out with me to a simple and nearby place, Compass point. Ha ha ha. We had the hell of our time man. I love her idiotic but lovely company. I'm so used to growing up with her since young until now that now she begins spending her time on other areas, I feel uneasy or upset. Though we quarrel almost every other day, iLOVEher as my younger sister. I had an awesome time with her today though it was irritating at the same time.
Alrights, here a little space for little erica~! Yay~ I'm heading to sentosa tomorrow but you can't make it. Isn't it such a waste? Hms, see la you . . . Aiya, nevermind next time we arrange again and we'lll head there together okie? Heh hehs. Oh ya, remember I asked you a question earlier on. "What if I leave you?" And I guessed you didn't really dared to reply me right. Ha ha ha. You have any idea why I asked that question? Actually I just wanted to see how would your reaction be. Because you never know what will happen to me tomorrow. Wa ha ha ha. Heh hehs. Alrights, I will signing off here. Take care, boy.

Hellos bloggie~! I had an awesome day today. My dad took the family except my elder sister out because she had to study for some stuff. Basically, I woke up rather late this morning at around nine o'clock and I began watching a detective drama serial till one o'clock in the afternoon because the show was simply unmissable~! I loved it~! Hms, I feel so dehydrated now. Well, maybe because I had taken in too much carbohydrates or food. Let me take a drink first.
Okie, I'm back. I decided that I needed something refreshing to refresh my mind and gruelling stomach. We went to plaza singapura today. I really liked that place alot because it's not too crowded as the other places in orchard. I can tell you I'm really afraid to be alone in a really crowded place, I might even squat down and start weeping, you know. I guess I have such a phoebia. *Screams! I'm becoming fatter~! Hms, maybe that's just mentally? I need to tone up on my stomach, I have slacked a little lately causing them to turn sagging like fats. I hate fats alot. I mean who don't hate fats. But there are good and bad fats though. And some fats are even essential to our lives. Ha ha ha. Fancy me talking some kind of crap here . . .
I'm really going into A maths from the very starting of that day tomorrow. I'm determined and I know it. No distractions though. I'm a week away from any other things except A maths. I have to focus~! Jia you~!
Here's a little space for little erica again~! Heh hehs. You know . . . every time I'm down, I will message you. When I'm up and hippy, you might not even get my msg. Ha ha ha. Joking here. I wonder whether you will do the same thing like what I do when you're sad? But remember that I will be there for you one okie. me signing off here . . .

Hellos people~! I just had a friendly match against Cedac yesterday. You can say it was the best experience I had from a match so far. I really loved playing that match. Our team was so united. We will be heading to Raffles Girls' for a carnival on 5th Dec. I'm pretty excited about it. But the way, I really want to thank my coach for teaching me the blocking skills the day before the friendly match, it really helped. I'm determined to improve my skills. I have no idea why I have become so passionate about the game. iLOVEnetball. However, I guess I injured my knee externally and internally. I will have to nurse the injury before the carnival. I had so much contentment yesterday. I am learning to seek contentment every single day I live from now on. In order to do that, I have to fulfill something a day. That way, I will live much happier. I must jia you~!
Alrights, here's a little space for little erica. Hms . . . *deep in thoughts, I know you're pretty upset about that incident in the bus. I guess both of us have been too sensitive about it. I also know we're both afraid that things don't work out the way we want it. We have just got to live it. I really don't know what to do. You know, I'm a failure at relationships. I don't know if I've hurt you, I'm sorry if I have. Wells, you're a mature guy. I hope you don't take it to heart if I've wrote anything to hurt you. I've been troubled over this matter for a while. We'll remain as friends for the time being okie? I'm not ready for any relationships yet. And I'm not ready to commit myself to one. Don't feel sad over this entry okie? Because I'm just writing my thoughts and feelings out. Okie, good night ppl. Sleep tight. Me signing off.

Hellos people~! I just got back from chalet the day before. Chalet was super fun~!
Wells, after I got home from the chalet, I had to prepare to go oout with little erica. I was super tired after vacuuming the house before heading out with him. We watched 'The exorcism of Emily Rose', he paid my share. Wa ha ha ha. The show was horrifying, it was to prove that devils do exist. It was overall a nice show, I enjoyed it in a terrifying sense. Ha ha. Then, little erica escorted me home. It was weird la, he asked me to sit with him in the bus. I mean I will understand if you asked me to sit with him in a cinema but in a bus? Ha ha. Anyways, like I say, must take things slowly, I don't want it to proceed too fast because I will be afraid. You know, I'm always paranoid. Hms, i'm tired after training, I'm going to take a short nap before I update you later. Sleeping . . .

Hellos! I just got back from the chalet at pasir ris! Woot! It was awesome man . . . I had much more fun than I thought. I just kept fooling around there. Aha ha ha. Hms, I will update at home later. Me signing off . . .

Hellos~! I practically did nothing the whole day~! This is a day without achievements.

Wells, basically I woke up at around 8 am this morning and I knew the day stood nothing for me. Thus I did nothing until this point of time. You can literally say that I have nothing much to write in my blog now. I'm feeling empty.

Okie, chicken little erica wanted me to update my blog so that he could read it later on. Here goes. Hms, we didn't messaged each other the entire evening the day before due to me watching a movie. Then, this morning we did not messaged each other till late afternoon . . . I was wondering what's wrong with him. I thought he was actually mad at me. I was pacing aroung my house when I walked past my sister who was using the computer and I saw little erica online. I quickly went online too~! I took a look at his nick and it read 'I am quite angry', that was when I thought he was mad at me. I clarified things with him and he said he wasn't mad at me. Thank god. Me acting childish here. Ha ha. Hms, I'm glad he was frank with me. Ha ha. Me signing off here.

Hellos people~! I had a splendid day yesterday. My parents took me and my family to Suntec to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire~! The best part was the movie tickets were partly sponsored by my dad's company. His company booked the entire movie theatre! Cool~! We had our dinner at the food court and then we waited patiently to enter the the theatre at the arranged timing. The show began and it was awesome la. Harry Potter had to accomplish the three tasks he was assigned to as he was selected to join the Tri-Champion thingy. The part when he had to swim underwater to accomplish his task was cool. There were gills and fins growing out of him. Cool~! Ha ha. I liked the part when he took a bath in the spring or something and there was this stupid spirit who tried to seduce him. Ha ha. Super nice man, the movie. Wells, there were new characters in the movie and they were beautiful~! -.-lll
Wells, here's a little space for little erica . . . Ha ha. Last night, I went to watch the movie thus I could not chat with him online. Aiyo, he must have been bored to death without me to chat with. Wa ha ha ha. Hms, I will write more about him later onwards. This will be yesterday's entry then. Me signing off.

Hellos people~! Yay~! I have succeeded in uploading the pics onto friendster~! ha ha ha. But with the help of little erica~! Heh hehs. I'm going to take more pics from now on. Wa ha ha ha~! I woke up this morning and I decided to accompany my parents for breakfast. You can say I had a nice breakfast at a coffeeshop - simplicity. Hms, I read Irene's blog last night and I found out she was going overseas to study . . . Wells, I strongly encourage her to do what she deem fit. Ha ha ha. I'm joking here. Yay~! I will be watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire later in the evening. I'm quite excited about the movie. Furthermore, the movie tickets were sponsored. Wa ha ha ha.
Wells, basically there's nothing much I can write about at the moment. I will update you later in the evening. Yay~! Today got the korean drama 'Love in Harvard' . . . I'm getting home early to watch it~! Ha ha ha. Little erica's spcae would be filled in later. Me signing off.

Hellos bloggie~! Today was basically a strenuous day at training. We had kick-boxing as warm-up in the morning at training. I simply thought it was merely a simple video not as tiring and intensive as what my coach described. My~! I was so stupid man . . . She's my coach~! How could I have doubted her words. Anyways, training began and ended as quickly as the wind. Today, I had a bad clash with Mabel. I don't know how to describe it la. She always makes me feel belittle of myself. She yelled at me in front of my coach and team-mates. I don't know what's wrong. I mean if you want me to improve myself, you have to give me time, not yell at me in the court all the time. You only make me feel more inferior to the rest. I guess she was mad at me for hitting the ball at her face, but don't you get it? It's not delibriately, it was an accident. I know you clashed with me several times at the drills today, you can say I was not focused enough or maybe skilled enough? Everytime you yell at me in the court with such anger within you, you have pronounced me 'dumb' or 'stupid' to have done such an act in the court, for playing in such a way. I know you don't think of me that way, however I think that way. Hms, I guess I'll learn from my mistakes. You can still yell at me in the court, just don't blow up. Everytime we quarrel, it always ends the same way. You will always hug me~! I hope it will end the same way once again. Whenever you want a hug from me, you can tell me anytime, not in public please. Ha ha ha.
Okie, good good .. . Here's a little space for little erica~! Phew! Today I went through alot and thank god you were there to listen to what I have got to say. I'm so glad to let go of some steam. Ha ha ha. And I realized you haven't been eating your meals regularly thus I have decided to come up with a plan. And that is to message you when it's mealtime~! So as to remind you to have your meals. You know something? It's bad to skip meals and it will result in you having many problems in your later life. Hence, what's the moral of the story? That is to eat your meals regularly~! Or you can grab a sandwich to eat in between meals. Or maybe you can have small meals in between the day. That will keep you focused on your work much better instead of feeling legarthic all the time. Ha ha ha. Must listen to my advice okie . . . Or else you will be castrated~! Ha ha ha. Me signing off.

Hellos~! I forgot to add something in my blog for today.
Here's a little space for little erica . . .
I think I know what is your little secret dream and I'm not surprised that you have such a dream. I mean I'm just guessing it la. I'm not sure whether I have made the right guess. You know . . . I'm under pressure. What we have done were merely chatting over msn and messaging each other frequently. Do you think a relationship can be substained by just doing that? We have only met once you know. Anyways, we have been rather frank with each other and I'm just glad that that it is. I'm pretty scared that we will advance to the second stage next year because I will have to focus on my o' levels instead of you. Will you be glad with me just doing that? Wells, like I say, we can leave this to live day-by-day. However, one should always think about the future right? Hms, don't be negative after reading this okie? You can say I'm not confident of the both of us. When I have gained enough confidence, in a way, you can provide me the support and 'facilities'- ha ha ha, I will accept . . . aha ha ha. Wells, maybe I have been thinking too much about this. Wa ha ha ha. Okie, me signing off . . .

Hellos bloggie~! Today is a kinda of meaningless day for me. I have no plans for the day. I know I could have planned it however I don't know what's wrong with me. I intend to do some self-revision by myself later on. By the way, my training tomorrow has been changed to morning. Yay~! We will be doing some kick-boxing tomorrow- fun~! Last night, I stayed up late to watch 'What Lies Beneath', which was not as nice as I thought. I was half dozing away during the show. The main actress played her role being too paranoid. Arrghh~! I have not been reading lately thus the limited vocabulary. I'm lazy. As the saying goes, someone who is not smart has to be hardworking. While I was watching the show, Irene messaged me and told me how happy she was . . . blah blah blah. Ha ha ha. Wells, you can say I was glad for her. Sometimes, I wonder what is she thinking inside that brainy mind of hers. She gave me a fright yesterday by hugging me in the middle of KFC~! I was of course embarrassed la. Alrights, me signing off here. Oh ya, Irene if you want to know what is FULL HOUSE about, message me to tell me when you're online so I can retell you the whole story. Ha ha ha. Actually, I can just tell you the gist of the story. Wa ha ha ha

Hellos~! Basically, today was not a very fruitful day . . . I started the day by studying with my friends. We agreed to meet at 10 am, however I was late thus I arrived there at 11 am? I guess so. Ya. Then we began chatting and idling around except for irene. Heh hehs. No la, Mabel was doing a worksheet. Then I had the Fish Ole meal from KFC again~! I think I'm nuts. Then the stupid Mabel and Mei Xuan said they were going to leave early to go somewhere else. So sickening. After the 'sumptuous' meal from KFC, we studied a little while more and then all of us dispersed. Ha ha ha. Fancy me laughing after that sentence. I'm nuts~! Nothing much happened today. I arrived home and I began vacuuming the floor. The job of a maid. Sigh. Ha ha ha. However, glad to say, I somehow enjoy cleaning my house because iLOVEmyhome. By the way, I will be having a friendly match against Cedac in their school next friday. We were talking about this earlier on when Mei Xuan suggested that Irene tag along. Wells, *ha ha I don't mean I don't want Irene along la, I just wanted to say I'm glad that she tagged along. It's going to be quite exciting.
Alrights, here's a little space for Erica~! Aren't you simply glad that I always leave some items for you to read? Wa ha ha ha. Unlike Irene you know, she got not much items to read. Ha ha ha. Later she come and kill me. Ya. Today, you went to watch the Cello is it? How come I have never heard of such a show before? You went to a haunted theatre is it? Ha ha ha. And just now you went Compass to buy soya milk, never buy one for me huh. Ha ha ha. I had soya ice-cream just now too~! Na na na poo poo~! Aiyo, me acting so childish here . . . Alrights, I'm going to have my dinner and watch a show first. I will be back online at 7 pm okie. Wa ha ha ha. Wait patiently okie. =)

Hellos people~! I'm back to update my blog! Today was a simple but plentiful day. Bascally, I had my training first thing in the morning. Training was always a terror in my mind. Ha ha ha. Ms Teoh made us do skipping again . . . Worse still, you combined skipping with running. I was sweating profusely endlessly that i thought I was going to collapse anytime. Aiyo, I guessed I had taken in to much carbohydates the day before. The focus for the training today was exact timing. I'm trying to master that presently. I'm not perfect. After the 'moderate' training, my team-mates and I headed to compass point to have our lunch at KFC~! I tried their Fish Ole~! It was sumptous. Well, what can you expect me to say when I was dying of hunger at that point of time? Ha ha ha. After that, I went home to sleep. Ya, I admit that I'm a pig. Anyways, I spent almost the entire night trying to resolve my mp3 problem. And I'm glad to say my perseverance paid off~! I'm so belated now~!
Here's a little space for little erica~! I'm so glad you were there for me when I was so frustrated with the mp3. You offered solutions to me and you can say although they didn't helped, you served as another encouragement. Thank you so much, little erica~! From now on, I will be calling you little erica okie. Don't bother to ask me why. You know the answer already. Wa ha ha ha. Basically, today was a day where I felt all my perseverance has paid off. No idea why either. Ha ha. Me signing off here.

Hellos people~! Actually, I have already written a entry earlier on however my idiotic elder sister went to switch off the internet modem. I am very mad at her because I have to update this whole thing once again. Wells, basically today's a special day because it's my Dad's Birthday! I would really like to thank him for bringing this family together. His presence creates this lovely family somehow . . . We went to Suntec City today and you can say I didn't really enjoy the trip there and back. I dislike crowded places, it just gives me a feeling that i'm being forced into a corner or something. Ha ha. Thus you can guess that my whole family did not enjoy going there either because I don't really like going there. Kinda of la. Ha ha ha. Actually, I have typed more than this however it got erased off because of the whole shut off thingy. I'm flared up.
Ha ha ha. Here's a little space for little Erica. Basically, we messaged each other and he told me that he took his little doggie to Punggol Plaza for a stroll? Wells, erica . . . what has that got to do with me??? Ha ha ha. Joking here. Ya. His day was boring today just like mine. Agreed? Ha ha ha. I'm bored nowadays. Wells, not actually bored, I can be really busy at times. Oh erica, don't bother about my Dad's card anymore okies because when the clock ticks at 12 tonight, his birthday's over! Wa ha ha ha~! Evil laughter! Heh hehs. Oh ya, what's that about your profile in friendster? The 'Who to Meet' section? Huh? Answer me now! H a h a. Me signing off here . . .

Hellos! I know who have been patiently waiting for my long-awaited entry! Wa ha ha ha! Ahh~! My Indian neighbour is so nice! They gave us some Indian food from celebrating their festivals. Nice neighbours! iLOVEthem . . . Ha ha ha. It just gives me a sense of warmth to see this heart-warming action. Heh hehs. Maybe next time I have sweets, I can go over and give the Indian kids there some sweets too. I'm sure they would feel hart-warming too. It gives me a sense of happiness too! Ha ha ha. Basically, there's nothing much that happened today thus I can only update this much. I slept the whole day la. Heh hehs. I will give you further details tomorrow .. . wa ha ha ha.
This is a little space for Erica. Basically, we did not message each other the whole day. Maybe because we're giving each other some time away from one another? Wa ha ha ha! I chatted with him for a little while in the afternoon and I headed to my bed . . . Heh hehs. Do you think things will work out between me and Erica? Stay tuned for the next episode(entry) of the story. Wa ha ha ha. Me signing offf .. .

Hellos people! My arms are aching all over from yesterday's physical training. Wells, maybe I may be exaggerating this whole thing once again. Ha ha. However that said, I could not wake up this morning till to the aches crawling through me. Ha ha ha. Sometimes, I feel that god is fooling around with us. Wells, I don't wish to elaborate on it. My mind is in a whirl. I'm so confused once again. Basically, I have nothing much to give details about in today's entry. However, I would like to make a comment on this particular issue. I feel that ever since 'someone' knew my secret, my friendship with that 'someone' is drifting apart . . . Aiya, I leaving this to live day by day again. I'm always running away from reality. I'm such a failure in solving friendship problems. Alrights, me signing off here.
Here's a little space for Erica. Hellos, ah gua! Wa ha ha ha! Joking only la. Because your name's Erica what so I titled you the ah gua. Heh hehs. I don't mean it okies. Ha ha. Actually nothing much happened today. Basically, all we do is chat online and merely message each other occasionally? Ya. So boring lor. -.-lll I meant my parents object to me having a boyfriend so you know . . . because of my O'levels next year. They don't want me to have regrets later. Ha ha ha. Alrights, me really signing off here. Heh hehs

Hellos! I'm here to update you after three days have passed. Wells, these three days had been enriching for me. I was scheduled to head back to school for extra remedials to improve my studies and in a way, it has been helping. Ya. I had my training on Monday and I tell you, I felt that I could faint anytime that time around 3 pm in the hot afternoon. You can say I was dehydrated till my lips were all dried up. A drop of water could even drench my dying thirst then. Heh hehs. Wells, I might have exaggerated this a little however I'm sure my team-mates who were all present then would have agreed with me yeah? Ha ha. No, this is not a personal attack from me to my coach. In fact, I love my coach alot. Wa ha ha ha! Furthermore, my coach is so pretty, any guys out there would be ogling at her if she was only taking a stroll along the park outside. Ha ha ha. I have no idea how I got to this topic. Wa ha ha ha. Anyways, today's training was no better. Wells, Ms Teoh told us that we have to come mentally prepared for every training and that was what I was prepared for. I have a 'strong' mentality. Ha ha. Training was kickstarted with four solid rounds around my school with timing taken. I was kinda of reluctant to run though. However, I thought about it thoroughly and I told myself that whatever it is, I still have to run so why not give it my best shot. Furthermore, my previous timing was disastrous. Thus, I pushed myself to get a better timing and I got a 9. 17 mins for four rounds around my school. Wells, this timing can be further improved though. I have to push myself to my limits! All I need is a strong mentality! After that, more was to come . . . We were to do skipping, and I mean intensive skipping! Then benches work. The funny part came when we were asked to leg lifting? Ya. Everyone in the group were made to follow me. And they were yelling in torture! I was gritting my teeth in torture! Ha ha. We had games after that. That was the fun part. Ha ha.
Now now . . . Erica, erica . . . You are awaiting to read my new updated entry right . . . Heh hehs. Alrights, I have a problem. This problem has to be solved between us okies. Ya, my parents knows about Erica already. They advised me to stay away from him because he's much more older than me. Wells, I'm in a dilemma. I mean you people should know I like 'you know who' already, it's real hard to just ignore him or keep away from him. And I mean real hard. I'm just leaving this matter to live day by day. I don't wish to hurt him. Ya, maybe we could remain as friends until I know him inside out and we will head over the next stage. Heh hehs. Ya. Don't be too sad after reading this okies? Me signing off . . .

Hellos, I'm back again! Just a short while ago, I was cutting my birthday cake. I prepared everything and soon I could cut the cake already! I love the cake alot, this year's cake is a little different from the cakes I got from the previous year. They got it from Jack's Place and had it in strawberry flavour this year. It was awesome. Then came the most important part. It was time for me to make a wish! Have you any idea why I say this is the most important part? Every year I make a wish, and the wish I made always go a long way to help me. They are either fulfilled with my hardwork or partly fulfilled. Thus, this year I made a very important wish. It will be my goal and it will always be my goal till I fulfilled. No, I have to fulfill it by next year. While I was making my wish earlier on, I had this very warmth feeling and the urgency to achieve my sense of contentment as mentioned in my previous entries. I yearn for this feeling. Or else I will never be happy in my life. I need a goal and a need to fulfill it in order for me to be content with myself though I know the process of achieving this is a very strenuous and tough one. I will persist on. I will keep trying till I achieve it. Determination and Perseverance within me will keep me going! Go Go, Char! Now, I need to do some planning for the long road ahead. Alrights, me signing off here . . . I know I will have to sacrifice some stuff in order to achieve successes. And you know what I will sacrifice . . .

Hellos people! What day is it today? Let me hear you screaming! It's Char's Birthday ! ! ! Wa ha ha ha! Hms, well maybe that was too hyper. Wells, I had an awesome day yesterday! Basically, it was out with Mabel, Irene and Mei Xuan in the morning. We agreed to meet at Hougang Mall at 11 am. Soon, everyone gathered. Mei Xuan and Irene ushered me with prezzies! iLOVEthem. Then what happened to Mabel? She said she had no prezzie for me! T_T ha ha, it's okie I will understand one. Ya, then we headed to the KBox at Hougang Plaza. We entered the dimly-lit room. The moment I entered the room, I kinda of felt uncomfortable because it was like how those mamasans were depicted in sitcoms or something. Ha ha. It reminded me of Shu Yi. Wa ha ha ha! They began singing their lungs out while I sat there for a while. I was kinda of shy at first. However, soon things got into place and I too began screaming my lungs out. It was super fun! I kinda of like kept taking the mike to sing. Wa ha ha ha! Or you can say scream. Heh hehs. By the way, if we hadn't scream you could have heard how the people in the other rooms were screaming. Mei Xuan and I kept laughing man . . . Wa ha ha ha! While we were enjoying ourselves plentifully, time passed like the wind. Shortly after, we had to leave the place, I was kinda glad though I enjoyed being in the room. It was super cold! I was freezing with the rest! Ha ha. After walking around for a while in Hougang Mall, all of us left the place. I went home with the comfort of my mp3. Soon, I reached home and guess what? That was when my Dad said he wanted to head to Hougang Mall to collect my specs and fetch my sister! Hmphs! Nevermind about that .. . Ya, I headed there once again to collect my long-awaited specs. And the moment I put the specs on in the optic shop, I fell in love with it! -.-lll That was dumb however that was how I felt. My dad sent us home and then we prepared to head out for my birthday dinner. I was pretty tired already thus we headed to Tampines Mall for dinner. I lusted for Fish & Co then, hence my Dad took us to have that. The service there was better than before, and most importantly there were suai guys to serve us! Wa ha ha ha! Erica didn't message me the whole day until it was evening. Hmghs! Bad erica. No la. Ha ha. Alrights, I really enjoyed my day yesterday! Thanks people! iLOVEyouall. Ha has

Aiyo bloggie, I'm so bored at the moment. Hms, I have decided to read a book later. The book seem interesting. Ha ha. -.-lll I thought about something last night while listening to some music. I pondered over and over again, I have decided to let things be natural- take things step by step slowly. I can't afford to fast forward it. Ya. I have been distracted lately. I have to stay on track. Alrights, I have to be signing off now. The weather now is so comfortable(not too warm or cold) and I'm loving it! And erica, don't you think I will be writing about you okie . .. Wa ha ha! Hms wells, I guess there's no harm writing a little about you right? I guess you know I like you already ya? However, you should know I don't want to get hurt again so I'm kinda confused over what to do. Sigh. I'm afraid the more I chat with you, the deeper I fall head over heels you. -.-lll I'm nuts, say until like that. I'm not some despo okie. Ha ha. Alrights, I don't want to bother about this matter anymore, I'll just let this matter be as it. Me signing off here.

Hellos people. I had a great time at school today. I was in charge of umpiring the new batch of Primary Sixs and I kinda of blame myself for not learning the ropes well enough thus I did not umpire to my fullest potential but I put in alot of effort. Yawns! After the busy schedule at school, we (mei xuan, irene & mabel) went to hougang mall to shop! Oh ya, before that erica came to my school to pass me something. He looked kinda cute la with his pair of large and funny eyes. Aiyo, I'm so confused. Stupid erica. Since you liked my sister first, why did you still come and bother me? I don't know how to describe it. It's like I don't have enough confidence that you can like me for as long as I want. -.-lll Ya, so I don't want to fall in too deep. I hope you can understand. Hms, I'm quite emotional now. Ha ha. Wa ha ha ha! Yay! This Sunday is my birthday! The best thing is my lovable friends will be spending their time with me. Wells, at least for a short while because I will be having my birthday dinner with my family. Ya, alrights me signing off here.

Hellos! I feel so much better today! Happy Deepavali to all Indians! Hms, my elbow still hurts though. Mabel ar, you play badminton play until so chou lou one. Heh hehs. Hopefully, my elbow will recover soon. Last night, I was like messaging irene then I thought it was kinda weird messaging her like that. However, I wanted to cheer her up so I did everything I could to achieve that. Wa ha ha ha! And I think I succeeded? Anyways, I got up this morning and I headed straight to the computer and into the virtual world of internet. Ha ha. Shortly after that, Erica messaged me! Ha ha. And then he said what dear char. I actually wanted to type back. Dear erica, do you have any idea why are you calling me dear? -.-lll Ha ha. Hms, it's nice chatting with him though. Alright, me signing off here.

Bloggie . . . This is my second entry for the day. Wells, the weekend has been awesome with my my parents ushering me with rewarding gifts. I can't say how much I love them though the previous week has been rather rash of me. Now I have got all that I ever wanted however that sense of contentment is not there. I mean it's not that I want more from my parents, they love me and give me enough. It's just that I do not get that sense of contentment from my work- my own work. My studies . . . I have not done well. I want to feel that sense of contentment I felt last year. That feeling still warm in my heart and clear in my mind. I think I will go and run a marathon and later gain that sense of satisfaction. I still recall how I ran my 2.4 km last year and clocked a timing of 10.30 mins. The satisfaction I got out of it can still be vividly remembered. Though I'm happy with my family and friends, I'm still unhappy with myself. With this, I have found the root to my unhappiness. I need to do something about this and find success in order to find contentment. I'm very happy with my achievements last year however I'm very discontented with this year's achievements. Contentment comes with a price, and this price is hardwork. I will make sure I will find greater contentment next year! My important O'level exams! Go Go! Char!

Hellos bloggie, my Dad took me to creative outlet near IMM to buy my mp3! You can say I was pretty tensed up there because my dad disliked Creative products(my sis's Zen Micro is under repair) and I on the other hand love Creative products because of its variety. Anyways, I got the orange colour Zen Nano Plus! iLOVEit so much! Wa ha ha! I'm nuts already. Yea! I'm getting my new specs this saturday. I'm so excited. Alright, me signing off here.

Hellos bloggie, today is gonna be a fruitful day for me! Yes! I will make sure it is! I had such a nice sleep into la la land. Things that I have bottled up over the years have finally been told to someone. I feel so free and happy now. I can't express how happy I am now. Wells, everything in the aspect of my family, friends and social life is great except my studies. Oh wells, I got to work hard. Studies comes first. I will only be happy if I can do very well at my O' levels.
Last night, I stayed up late to watch the last episode of FULL HOUSE! It was so sweet and touchy. My heart was filled with warmth to see Song Hye Gyo and Rain together. It was such a undescribable scene. iLOVEfullhouse! Hms, I have not been reading books to enrich myself though. Oh ya, I will be getting my mp3 player today though my parents aren't too sure of where to get it at. Woa! A week from now and I'm 15! I hate to say this but the older I get, the more problems I face. I wished I didn't have to grow up and face these challenges ahead. However, I don't mind facing these challenges in the future with the support of my family and friends. Wa ha ha ha. I have no idea why do I keep telling Irene that i love her. -.-lll ha ha. And Eric don't you anyhow think okie . . . if you're reading this. Actually I think I'm falling for this guy but I choose not to accept it though I have a feeling he likes me too. Wa ha ha. I have lost faith in love and I'm afraid to fall in love because I have been hurt several times already? So guys, if you like me, give me some time okie? Heh heh. Alright, me signing off here. Ppl message me okie? Ha ha.

hellos bloggie . . . It's been a long day and I really enjoyed it! I made a new specs today and you can really say I liked it. iLOVEit! Ya, I spent the entire evening chatting Eric, Irene and Randy. I really enjoy chatting with them man.Especially Eric and Irene! So lame, stupid eric. Ha ha. Eric's such a nice guy to talk about . . .He's so humourous and funny! He actually say he wants to woo me man. I don't believe it! Heh heh. I'm a little dipsy dovey tonight. Thanks, eric and irene for cheering me up when I needed one. You people are so nice! And randy, don't feel inferior about yourself okie? And eric, stay nice or I'll castrate you! Oh ya, I told irene my biggest secret!

I'm upset once again. This time's my family problem. Last night while I was washing my specs(cleaning it), the lenses unknowingly broke with just a gentle touch. Sigh . . . I walked out of the kitchen and told my Mom about it, guess what did she say? She said "so?" And that pure one word broke my heart. She never ever said that to me. She always cared for me. However, last night she said that to me and I broke down. I walked briskly to my room and sat down at my table. I ponder over and over again. I was very fed up. Since she dosen't even bother about me, why should I give a damn about this family. Sometimes, I come home late from outings with my friends only to find myself dog-tired and I still have to clean the house. Whereas, my sisters can go out till the late evening and come home for a nice dinner and clean house. What am I to this family? A pure maid? If that's so, I quit! And this includes my elder sister okie, she goes out late and comes home late. I'm not the eldest in the family and yet I receive such treatment. I don't get paid, you know. I'm doing all this because of the pure love for this house and you all. And yet my Mom treated me that way. I hate her. Frankly speaking, I seldom argue and quarrel with her because I'm the closest to her among the siblings. I'm always under her bidding. And I have decided not to do her bidding anymore from now on. Until you have done something to make me forgive you that is. Sigh . .. I can't bear to hate her though. Me signing off.

Bloggie, today after school, I intended to walk home with Mei Xuan one. On our way home, I could sense something was wrong with Mei Xuan. She began telling me about her problems and then asked me whether we sit down and talk then. I agreed to accompany her, we headed to Rivervale Mall where we bought bubble tea and sat down at a secluded spot in the food court. We began chatting . . . stories and gossips about her past came blabbling out. It was kinda shocking to me at first however it did not affect me. Ya, I feel sorry for her past and it was like everything fell upon her-it's not her fault. This chat with her strengthened our friendship. Some things that I did not knew about her came to light. Ha ha. Ya, and I really cherish my friendship with her. Mei Xuan's such a nice and sweet soul. It's just that she has to meditate her temper that's all. Anyways, it's nice being her friend all this years. Take care mei xuan .. . Don't want anything sad to happen to you again. Stay happy! Alright me signing off here. Super tired.

Yay, bloggie! It's 6.25 pm now and I have not bath yet! Ha ha. I just went to Kovan with Mabel and they all- you know. Wells, I can say I did not regret spending my time there with them. It was so fun! Hms, I'm so useless . . . I wrote in the previous entry that I'm going to make full use of my time this week yet the third day of the week has passed and I have done nothing constructive. Hmph! I need to be more determined! Ouch . . . My back hurts from the weight training yesterday. I'm kinda weak now, I want to take a nice bath and follow on read a nice book. I'm so sadistic. I cut off a bump on my finger caused by hard writing and I didn't know I cut into my skin! The moment the bump dropped off, blood began triggling out. Painful . . . Ouch. I have so far enjoyed my week compared to last week which comprised lots of disappointed and sadness. Alright, me signing off here. Readers, take care!

Bloggie, I'm even sad today. I'm so heartbroken. Don't ever pair me up with him .. . I will feel even worse. No words can describe my hurt maybe one word - HURT. I don't wish to see him but I see him daily in school. What else can i do? I hate this man. Get out of my life please. I'm trying to allow other guys into my heart here but you're blocking their entry to my heart. Wells, I'm just to young to talk about love. I don't know a thing about love so what's my status to talk about it. Alright. Me signing off here.

Bloggie, I feel sad once again. It's so tough to be going through this period of my life and I seem to be doing this alone. I saw him at school today and the feeling arised again. I am so sorry, I can't help it. I don't understand why I still have feelings for him when he treated me that way. Instead, I sense the feeling getting stronger. I hate myself man. I am trying hard to forget him but what can I do when I see him lurking around the school compound. I can't control my heart. If you asked me to control my mind or my body, I can do it faithfully. However, I . . . just can't control my heart. How can you expect me to forget someone whom I have liked since Sec. One so easily? I'm not impregnable. I tried to replace fond with hatred, however I failed miserably. I have never liked someone so much as to be thinking of him every single moment. Wells maybe presently only, I hope I can let the feeling ease away slowly and when that happens, I will never fall for you ever again- don't blame me. How can I be so dumb? I should not be liking a guy who has treated me this way . . . a guy who have been so selfish. This is such a contradiction. Whenever I see him in school, I would yell to Mei Xuan and Mabel, " Hey! Look! That bastard is there! " However, the feeling of cursing him is empty yet I feel more for him. Drats. Hey people! Ignore this entry k. Especially G. This entry is just to voice out my woes. Anyways, this is my blog so I think I can write out my feelings? Yupp, me signing off here.

hello bloggie! I feel so loved today. My dad took us out and we did plenty of shopping! We went to Sim Lim Tower to look for my mp3! There were so many varieties and I really love the Creative Nano Plus. Hms, then we headed to Bugis through the bustly Bugis Street. I bought masks there! I'm going to put on my masks together with my sisters now~ Ha ha. Bye.

Bloggie, I never want to get myself into a fix again. I have been feeling real down deep inside however with my family within grasp I don't feel so sad. I love my family. My mom took me out today in the morning to do some shopping and I really mean alot of shopping-it's better than heading out with my dad. First thing, my mom took us to Bishan to do some checkups and then she bought her clothes at some shops there. We headed to Junction 8 next. We did lots of shopping there. She bought my little sister an OP board shorts and two nice shirts for me! iLOVEmummy! Ha ha, copycat Mabel. Oh ya, hey the masks that we bought at Bugis were effective! My face feels cleaner. Ha ha. Hms, every time I'm at my computer updating my blog I tend to feel upset and write negative thoughts. Sigh. Oh ya, there will be FULL HOUSE later. I love the song so much! By the way, today's Ms Lim's Birthday! Happy Birthday, Ms Lim! Mummy, just to let you know I love you so much for guiding me through the dark years two years back. I just love you so much. I will stay STRONG! Nothing can blow me down.
I really feel so guilty. I'm so ashamed of myself. I did not do well at my exams and I dared ask my parents for an mp3 player. It's like something unlikely to happen. However, they agreed to get me one because it's my birthday soon? Yupp. I love them so much. Hms, my Dad just came in and yelled at me. I change my perspective of them already. No la, I'm not like that.
By the way, I like someone else already. I know I shouldn't be getting involved in this kind of situations but I'm trying to change. I know I shouldn't be liking this person because I'm not 'allowed' to. I really don't understand myself. I'm so confused. This person is someone whom I message frequently and ya blah blah. Don't make a guess because you will never ever guess it. Alright, me signing off here.

Bloggie, today I went to Mabel's house and did 'facial'. We had facial masks over our faces and were lazing around her house. It was such a precious moment of time to share with friends. Ha ha. Hms, I'm going to stay positive about my life! I spent half a day at Mabel's house and presently I feel like dropping dead on my bed. Next week I will be exercising regularly once again, getting back my exercise regiment. I feel so fat now. I guess that Mabel's wailing about she being fat has taken an effect on me. I need to feel super fit to think healthily! Heh heh. I just did some crunches and push-ups earlier on. I have been doing aesthetics quite consistently this week and yupp I'm feeling quite healthy about it.
I have been spending my time together with my friends lately that I'm afraid I would neglect my dearest family members. Ha ha. I really love my family so much that I would not let them down in any ways. Hms, tomorrow it's Ms Lim's birthday and I wish her a Happy Birthday! 'I hope that your dreams and wishes will be fulfilled' and just to let you know that I love you alot, my dearest mummy. I will always stay strong.
Wa ha ha! My birthday is like a few more weeks to go. I wonder what's it like to be on that day? I'm one more year older then. I will make a wish and that wish is that I will score distinctions at my O'levels. That's my long term goal. My short term goal is to study hard and do well for every single test. Phew, I'm so tired today. My eyes are about to close, they are blood-shot already. Alright, me signing off here.

Bloggie, I have never been so upset in my life before. This is the worse phase of my life and I hope it will blow over-I hope to learn something out of this. I feel like a failure. I have never failed this badly in my entire teenage life since Sec. one. I got an F9 for my A maths- 11/80. I really do not understand what have I been doing since the beginning of the year. I did my work and compared to yang tuo in my class, I studied and practised more than her yet I scored lower than her. I can't keep highlighting how dumb I can be. When Mdm Phua read through the names that she thought those who should consider dropping A maths, my name got read out. I was so disappointed right at the point of time. Though I knew right from the end of the A maths paper that I would not do well, I did not know that I would fare worse than ever. There is going to be a tough struggle between me and A maths. I swear that I will never give up on A maths till the the very last moment-the day before I take my A maths O's and will work even harder to a brighter future. I won't make empty promises to myself. I am not going to let myself down again. I have never felt this way since I was Primary Six, I was always afraid of Mathematics and I kept failing the subject. I was a letdown then. I buck up and became what I am today in 3A. However, history itself is taking place again. I had a hard time overcoming that obstacle which obstruct me when I was just Primary Six. But what kept me going is strong and solid determination. I need to overcome this larger and tougher obstacle in my life presently. I need a stronger and tougher determination this time. This determination have to come with perseverance to keep me going tough. The largest opponent in my life is Maths. I'm always at odds with it. I need to be more hardworking than this. My final-year results aren't pleasant and I'm upset about it. I don't want to just say I am upset with it. Because me saying, 'Hey I'm so upset that I fared so badly in these exams' is not going to help me score a distinction at A maths next year. Mdm Phua said this, ' I don't like to feel self-pity for myself' and I really agree with this solid sentence. Feeling self-pity for myself is not going to help me score a distinction and it only makes me feel inferior and down-graded. I have to stay strong. I remember at one point of time, I often seek Ms Lim's advice on my life and she would always tell me this 'Girl, stay strong k' and I will never ever forget this sentence that she repeatedly reminded me. I just want to thank her so much for telling me that because you know that it will always remain in my heart and soul. Her birthday takes place this Saturday and I hope to meet her to give her that big beary heart. Her words keep me going strong. How I wished she was still my one and only coach.
I have to begin planning my holidays to catch up on what I totally missed out. I'm not going to slack any longer. I guess I will begin next week, need to keep my brain going. I got to read some books too to enrich my language and get idealistic. I want to enrich myself as much as i can this December holidays. I won't be devoured by fooling around again. I have been such a foolish girl. Alright, no more self-pity for me anymore. If I choose to do something, I have to do it with my utmost effort-no slipshots. I want to build such an attitude- determination to achieve, perseverance to keep going, be hardworking to produce good work. If you tell yourself you can do it, you will do it thus you will achieve it. Belief in oneself is important.

hello bloggie . . . I have since cooled down since that incident just now. I have nothing to do with him from now on and I hope he won't come and bother me ever again. Arrggh, the very thought of what a person he is, I can't help thinking how foolish I have been to be even his mei. *lets out a long weary sigh . . .
I hope netball training resumes and I will be back to my old self, focusing only on netball and nothing else. Ah, I want to get back into my tip-top condition, need to train hard once again. I love my coaches so much man. I love trainings so much too though trainings are tough. Alright, me signing off here . . .

hello bloggie, back to update you again. Yesterday was the most 'upset' day anyone would have. I'm having a splitting headache at the moment. I can't believe he is like that. He's a total jerk and bastard, that's all I can say. I feel like bashing him up when I see him tomorrow in school. ' You have no idea how much humiliation I have took in k! ' I have never been so humiliated in my teenage life. You will be the first and the last. If this's going have an impact on my self-esteem, I will never forget you and I will hate you till the end of my life. You bastard! All your apologies are useless and meaningless. I don't want to hear them anymore and I won't hear them anymore. And don't you dare harm/hurt Geraldine anymore, now that I'm out of your life, you better learn to cherish her or else . . . I will make sure you won't get another girlfriend in your life!
I'm that angry and hateful. I'm so fed up that this has to happen and I cleared up the shit for him. Bloody crap. This is so sickening man, I wished he could get transferred out of the school and I won't see him again. Another look at him will only make me boil up and feel like ripping him apart. I'm that furious k. Damn guy. Hurt so many people in your life. . . . . . . . . . . Got nothing much to say anymore. Me signing off here. God bless Geraldine and not him.

bloggie . . . I don't know how dumb I can go . . . It's like I know this won't last and yet I still went ahead with it - BGR. Hms, I don't want to ponder over these things but it has been annoying for me lately. His girlfriend messaged me and I felt really sorry for their plight. I'm really so guilty for it. Sorry, I didn't meant for it to happen, I'm helpless - I can't control my heart. Wells, there's no point apologizing endlessly. All I have to say is that they broke up - I have no idea whether they would ever patch.

bloggie . . . I spent the whole of last night watching FULL HOUSE! It was so sad - that episode. There were several moments where I wanted to cry. Song Hye Gyo acted very well and Rain is so indecisive, he liked Song Hye Gyo but pretended he did not like her. In the end, he decided to return to Hui yuan. Such a fool, he should just stay by Song Hye Gyo's side. It's so sad . . . Song Hye Gyo was crying after that. Oh ya! Song Hye Gyo is really cute! Ha ha. Very bored. Hms, my Dad will be taking us out later to shop! Then tomorrow I will also be shopping with Mabel, Mei xuan and Irene! This is so fun! . . . . . . I don't know whether I should be calling my Kor along because I don't think I will be able get some guys along which is not what we girls want. We are going to do girly girl stuff and I doubt the guys will like doing that. So I guess we will just have head along without my kor. Ha ha, I actually told my kor that I will hold his hand if we went out together tomorrow and he said that he won't let go you know. I'm so happy. -.-lll so what? He's attached already . . . there's no point. I don't want to be the one wooing him instead. I'm not such a girl alright? Me signing off here . . .

bloggie . . . I'm feeling helpless. There's this particular guy who still likes me and is still holding a torch for me. I'm feeling so miserable. The person I like cannot be with me while the person I have no feelings for yearn to be with me. This is so ill-planned. Why is it like that? Why can't one be with the one he/she really like? That guy is feeling remorseful because of something that happened in the past that ended in the way things are now. I don't want him to feel remorseful. What the heck . .. why must things be this way. I'm so confused. Can somebody guide me. I was so heartbroken just now when he' said that he still likes me. I was further heartbroken when I chatted with my kor - He'so indecisive, can you be more decisive? Will we ever be together?
I think it's better to enjoy my singlehood than ponder over the matters of the heart. Wth . . . My close friends are all attached and they're pressurising me to get attached too. Seriously, if I want to get attached there are some guys who are ready to do that. The fact is I do not like them and they're just not my type. My standards are really high and when I have really met the right one, we won't manage to be together.
Why can't I just see that i'm so imperfect? I have bad communication skills and I can't communicate with guys except joke with them. I guess just remaining single is the best. Right? All singles out there . .. You're enjoying your life presently right? Bored . . . Bored . . . Bored

hello . . . I'm so bored at home now and hence I'm sitting at my computer the whole day to blog. I just got home from bball training. Training was learning the basics, I learnt how to dribble, shoot and block? Ya . . . And I'm still working on these basics. Basically, all I can say is that the training is not very organised and the training just ended without any goal achieved. Wells, isn't that what Ms Teoh always tell us, we train with a goal in mind each training. This isn't what I want for my bball trng. Wells, what can I expect . . . This isn't an official team. The reason I went is because Siew Hong is the coach and I trust her to be patient with me- I'm dumb at learning new skills, she's really a patient coach. Ha ha.I'm so dirty and stinky at the moment. I'm dog-tired too . . . Woke up early just to prepare for training and this is how it turned out. Hms, it's okie at least I learnt the basics of bball. Signing off here . . .

bloggie . . . I will be heading to Punggol Plaza to have my basketball training soon. I need to get away from some stuff-keep my mind off some stuff. By the way, my kor messaged me last night and we planned to head to the movies . . . wells, maybe I will take him along on Monday when we go out together with Irene, Mabel and Mei Xuan. Or else I will have to pay for another ticket another time, another day . . . Ha ha. My kor's real sweet after the exams. -.-lll alright need to head to the bball courts now .. . bye. I love my new FULL HOUSE blogskins!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear bloggie . . . I think I'm going nuts already. Sometimes, I wonder why am I living on this earth at all. I can't seem to understand myself. Mabel seems to understand me at least. She knows how I feel about everything I do? This is scary man . . . I think I got my sexual orientation mixed up? I have been running away from the reality the past 3 years. Mabel guessed it all. I am still trying to change after all this years. Thank god, I have been changed much. I don't used to be who I am previously which is crazy. My friends have changed me. I love my friends! Hopefully I will get it fixed. -.-lll By the way, I will be heading to sentosa next week. Then I will be heading out with Nic to the movies? Yep . . . Alright, got the burden off my heart. Got to go, bye. Btw, people I'm still considered straight k, I don't get involved with girls. -.-lll gross.

bloggie . . . It has been quite a while since I updated you. The exams were tough and I tried to overcome them bit by bit. It was tough-going. By the way, there was an important birthday yesterday- Ms Teoh and in eight days time, it's Ms Lim's birthday! I have no idea of what to get for her.
Hms . . . Many things occurred lately and it's driving me nuts. I'm so confused. I feel like giving up 'M', I don't want him anymore. Ha ha. -.-lll Anyways, there's a community centre near Compass Point and that particular day, Mei Xuan took us there to study. The moment we entered cdac, we spot a group of uncivilised guys chatting away. We ignored them and went ahead to study. We were studying half-way when this guy came to ask me for my number. Ask for my hp no. you know! It's like the first time any guy would want my number. So hilarious! I took their number instead and I thought I would not be messaging them anyway. However, I doubtfully messaged the guy. From one guy, it became like 3 guys who knew my number now. They were pestering me the past few days with messages. Arrghh . . . serves me right. Anyway, there was this particular guy called Nicolas and since he's the outstanding one in the group, I decided to chat with him. He's quite nice. Ha ha.
Yesterday, Mabel took Mei Xuan;Irene and me to her house to prepare for our last paper. Hms, they each baked cookies for their dears. Ha ha. It was like so hilarious. They thought they burnt the cookies. Wa ha ha. Then there was this incident. I was making a call to my Dad when I unknowingly leaned on Irene's shoulders then she leaned back! Then before that she was like saying she's a little crooked- she's kidding. I felt uncomfortable and leaned away. Ha ha. No la, it's quite nice leaning on her. -.-lll And Mabel gave me a big beary hug! She was breathing down my neck and it was so ticklish. Ha ha. It was so fun yesterday! Thanks people! Especially Irene who allowed me to lean on her and Mabel for that big beary hug and Mei Xuan for teaching me A maths till you nearly vomited blood. Ha ha. Going to change my blogskin now.

hello bloggie . . . I'm back here to update you. Have been in the stresses of preparing for the exams lately. I did some planning and I'm afraid that I won't have adequate time to revise through everything by next week. Oh wells, a good time management is all I need and to follow it faithfully. My gosh . . . I have been faced with friendship problems lately. It's been bugging me. Wells, I don't understand why I tend to react this way during the exams period. I feel apologetic towards my friends. Mabel has been trying to get me to study with her yet I left her to study with others the fifth time. I feel guilty. Then this afternoon, Chew Ling and Bernice pleaded with me to have lunch with them, just an hours' time of lunch yet I strongly refused. I did this all because I was feeling uptight about the exams and I felt that since that it was the exam period, I ought to be at home doing plenty of revision instead of being out there to enjoy myself. I also feel that studying at malls isn't very conducive as it is noisy. Though I used to do that frequently in the past and I will still continue about doing it.
I feel that I have let down my friends. I ought to be despised upon by you all. I am a failure in friendships. You all have helped to build my character and self-confidence, especially you Mabel. I can't say how grateful I am to you and how much I have learnt from this great personality of you. Though we tend to quarrel over little little things, you should know that I won't take them to heart and that I love you as a good friend.
I guess I will be back to norm after the exams. So be rest assured that I will be my old self. I love you all people! All the best for your exams!

hello bloggie . . . I have learnt to take things in my stride and I will study really hard for this end of year exam. I just read Irene's blog and it kind of inspired me to do my best for these last papers for the year. I need to quickly revise the topics and clarify things that I do not understand with my teacher. So far, I am not facing much problem with Mathematics. However, I am going to study with Irene in the middle of next week or something. I need to put my focus on Chemistry and Physics. Alright, got to go . . . See Ya!

bloggie . . . I touched E maths Trigo today but I have not completed it. I have been negative lately, I need someone to inspire me. Ms Teoh, Ms Lim and Ms Kang!!! Help ah . . . Me drowning already! I love these three teachers man, they are the light of my life, my guiders in life. Final Yr exams are very very close*, stay positive! Focus on the books! Things are getting complicated in my life presently. Wells, maybe I'm just tightening up. I have to be more open. I'm so sleepy, don't wish to describe the happenings that took place today. I will talk about it the night after. Good night, people! Sweet dreams.

New TagBoard ! ! ! Please Tag Me! Hms . . . Like so Spastic . . . -.-lll

hello bloggie . . . This week's been a hard week. I had english oral the day before with Mr Tang being the invigilator. I thought it was going to be rather stressful to talk to a teacher but anyways I did it smoothly and I enjoyed it, frankly speaking. I have been revising consistently these nights and it was like yesterday night I skimmed through the Chemistry textbook and I took the short test today. I ended up failing it because of some major careless mistakes! It was so obvious and it didn't occur to me that I read the question wrongly. I'm so dumb . . .I feel stupid. Anyways, I will be attending the Chem. Remedial next tues and I will see whether it helps. I have got better confidence in chemistry than social studies, I don't know how I fared in the test one. So stupid. Sigh . . . Tomorrow, I will be studying with Irene and Mei Xuan at Compass point on Trigonometry. I hope everything goes well because if Irene suddenly backs out because she has something on, I doubt I will be heading with Mei Xuan to Compass. hahas. I belittle MeiXuan . . . hahas, joking!
Recently, I tell myself not to bother about the affairs of the heart. However, it has still been bothering me. You get what I meant? I still like him alot. Grrghhs . . . No, I don't like him. Forget about him ba. Sigh. Wells, I control my heart and I hope I have good management of it. I keep sighing. By the way, I will be heading to Bishan Park to celebrate Latern Festival on account of my dad's persuasion. Alright, I am going to do what I am supposed to do. See Ya!

hello bloggie, I promised myself that I will touch my books today because it's the last day of the holidays. Oh wells, I didn't managed to catch a glispe of my books last night. Life have been rather boring lately ever since I enjoyed myself entirely at Sentosa last wednesday. My skin have not peeled a bit but some have come off over my nose. Stressed, stressed and more stressed . . . Sigh. Can something exciting take place in me life? I really promise to work hard at my studies after this event happens. Though even if nothing happens, I still got to work great hard at my studies. I have a goal in mind, remember that. Hmm . . . I feel that I am falling ill soon. I have a slight sore throat. I don't understand why am I becoming more negative gradually. I have to stay positive! +ve! Alright, I got to go . . . See Ya!

hello bloggie . . . I'm currently using my dad's laptop to update an entry because my drat little sister is currently on the main computer. I'm outrageously bored right now, I don't have the feel to study right now when I have the time of the world to do so. I am such a weird person. I need to gain control of myself, how come I am slacking? However, I finished a considerately thick fiction book in 3 days which is rather amazing to me because I have never done so before. The book that kept me on my toes all this while was called 'Dance of the Assasssins'. It has a very exciting but confusing storyline however I grasp the story relatively well. I was glued to the book for an entire three days, this shows how interesting this book is. Oh, by the way, the author is Herve Jubert. He uses lots of Italian words in his story which makes the story kind of weird. hahas. It seem like I am advertising this book as such. I am so bo liao right now. This laptop is keeping me preoccupied. I spent my whole day reading. My family were all at home in the morning and I felt the warmth. Hmm . . . bored as can be right now . . . what shall I do later? Study?

dear bloggie . . . I am stressed up. I have not been studying frequently and how I wished I had the full concentration on my studies instead of enjoying myself all the time. I need more determination and focus. I have been a bad girl lately . . . I have not been exercising, studying and well, meditating my inner self. I feel like breaking down. In three weeks time, I would be studying intensively and it's hitting down on me badly. I feel like I'm clenched up in a fist. How I wished I don't have to face compeitition with that someone*, I am forced to face it. Focus . . . Remember your goal, Charlene. I know you may think by saying such things to myself, I am nuts. However, it really helps. I miss Ms Lim once again, how she used to listen to my woes. hahas. Alright, seem like typing out my frustration is not helping much. I still feel tightened up. Good Night, diary.

hello! I'm so bored right now. Right. I went to settle my project at Terence's house in Punggol this morning. I had to wake up twice. Sigh! I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that I was going to seat for my exams the next day and I was fully unprepared. I woke up rather stressed up because my exams are just three more weeks away which is not a long time for me to spend, frankly speaking. I am very tensed up today. By the way, I had a ball of a time at terence's place. We did our project there and I got to play his Xbox and it was so fun! That stupid Debbie, she kept beating me at the games. Basically, nothing much have happened to me today. Well . . . maybe later might be a little exciting for me because I will be heading out with my Mom to the hair salon! Maybe I will get a good massage and get some relaxation! wahahas. Good Bye.

hello blog . . . I went to sentosa today. At first when I woke up in the morning, the skies was not very desirable. Hence, it dampened my spirits, I did not really feel like going already. However due to Mei Xuan's persistent will to go Sentosa to get a good tan, we headed there. For your info, we went there in threes, Chew Ling; Mei Xuan and myself. I thought that it was rather lame and boring for three person to head to sentosa with nothing much in mind. Anyway, we went ahead with it. On our way to Sentosa, Mei Xuan thought that it was a good idea to call Irene along. Irene was rather hesitant to go but anyway she came. Soon, Cassandra got pulled in too, she agreed to meet us at sentosa because she had a volleyball with her. We arrived at Palawan Beach. The sun was not really bright and strong thus during that period of time we borrowed someone's volleyball to have some fun. Soon Mei Xuan and I went running into the waters and both of us decided to swim to the floats provided for us which was quite a distance from the shore. We began swimming and soon I couldn't feel my feet. I began to panic and we swum back to shore. Our first and second attempts were useless. Irene arrived and she took Mei Xuan with her and they swam with the help of the balls connected to the floats. Shortly after, I followed on with Chew Ling and Cassandra. For your info, the balls connectors were gross! There were algaes growing on it and I had no choice but to grab hold of it tightly for the sake of my dear life! It was because I nearly drown in my second attempt earlier on. Those two idiot Mei Xuan and Chew Ling told me that they wanted to swim to the floats. I began swimming towards the float and halfway, both of them began screaming that they were afraid and wanted to head back. I turned back and this time, I felt a sudden surge of fear and panicky in me. I wanted to head back hurrily. Then I swam to the ball connectors where Mei Xuan and Chew Ling were. I grabbed it but I thought that I was still sinking. This time, I became short of breath and I started gasping for air. I went under the water and came up again exhausted. The waters were damn deep! Hahas. I pushed Mei Xuan down for support. Then I slowly make my way back to shore. This was the nightmare of my life man . . . I'm super afraid of the waters now. Anyway, with the arrival of Irene and Cassandra, the atmosphere was enlightened. Unknowingly the sun came out and we began sun tanning like nuts. I took some pictures of Irene and MeiXuan together with myself in my mobile phone. We had a hell lot of a time man. I love being with Irene and Mei Xuan now. By the way, we also had a ball of a time spraying . . . ssshh . . . sun tanning oil. I am supposed to put sunscreen instead of sun tanning lotion, my dad's order. They kept pestering me to allow them some spray on their arms. My 'banana boat' sun tanning lotion ar . . . so expensive man. Nevermind, I had a ball of a time with them so I won't regret it. By the way, I got real tanned. My arms are super red now and I like it! hahas. I'm nuts. Alright, since I have enjoyed myself already, I have to focus on my studies right now. I am going to study Chemistry and Physics tomorrow. No disruptions please! Good Night sweetie bloggie, for allowing me a listening ear.

bloggie . . . Today i had my PESS carnival. There were quite a number of strong schools there. We won 2 out of 5 matches. We lost to Westwood, Katong Convent and Tanglin. I feel that our team could beat katong convent however due to minor mistakes and being not steady*, we lost to them. I also feel that the scores are rather close in these three games. Well, I did not get to play in this carnival as much times as in the previous one last year. Ms Teoh made Elly the Goal-Keeper in most games. I can understand that because Elly needs to gain more exposure in order to become stronger in the mind(in a sense). I used to be very, and I mean very nervous in the previous games I played last year. However, I feel a sense of steadiness in the games I played today. I am more determined and focused in the things I want to do in the court. Example, I wanted to intercept a lope from a tall shooter, though I did not do it successfully, I actually perform the drill that I was taught in the court on the shooter! I know what I want in the court now.
I am a little disappointed we did not make it to round 2. A feeling of giving up lingers in my mind. It's so difficult to win a match victoriously. I really want our team to win victoriously and bring glory to our coach. I hope that we can fight very hard for the tournament next year because it's my last year. So juniors, do your senior here a favour, work super hard for our tournament and senior here will work hard together with you all too. I don't want to leave my secondary school without any achievements that I can remember for life beautifully. I think I am going to become a sports teacher because I found out that I love netball and sports alot. It's going to become my passion . . .

bloggie . . . it will be my carnival tomorrow. I hope that I can gain strength and courage from this special someone so that I can put my best foot forward. It's been quite a few months before I took part in such a carnival. Last night you can say I had a hard time sleeping because I was suffering from a slight headache due to being soaked in the rain for long hours. My mind is half-awake right now. I better get enough rest today in preparation for tomorrow's match. I have Ms Teoh's 'wisdom' words in my mind from yesterday's training till now. Bring my brains into the court. I am thinking of how to counter a tall-shooter when she gets a lope. Though I learnt it yesterday, it still takes lots of courage; great timing and determination to get out there and actually perform it. I have to be confident of my abilities. I must tell myself that I am capable of doing whatever I want as long as I set my mind on it!!! Phew . . . Breathe in and out . . Alright . . . See Us stomp you on the court tomorrow!

hi bloggie, I spent my day yesterday practising A maths functions with Irene and Mei Xuan. I took the test today and I basically have no comments about it. Well, I had netball training in the afternoon. It was pouring and some pupils were taking their prelims thus we had the least choice to select where we could train. It was until Ms Teoh arrived and I was like(depicted) the flower finally seeing my sunlight. hahas. I don't know it's whether I'm too sensitive or whatever, I feel that Ms Teoh is picking on me. I hope that I don't feel this way for long.
I got my results today. I fared relatively alright to me. I aim and want to score better at my final examinations. I always expect higher expectations of myself no matter how good I am. I am a perfectionist. However as I have said, I am not perfect in any way. I am sleepy, going to take a nap. I will focus on Sunday's carnival!!!

hi bloggie, I spent my day yesterday practising A maths functions with Irene and Mei Xuan. I took the test today and I basically have no comments about it. Well, I had netball training in the afternoon. It was pouring and some pupils were taking their prelims thus we had the least choice to select where we could train. It was until Ms Teoh arrived and I was like(depicted) the flower finally seeing my sunlight. hahas. I don't know it's whether I'm too sensitive or whatever, I feel that Ms Teoh is picking on me. I hope that I don't feel this way for long.
I got my results today. I fared relatively alright to me. I aim and want to score better at my final examinations. I always expect higher expectations of myself no matter how good I am. I am a perfectionist. However as I have said, I am not perfect in any way. I am sleepy, going to take a nap. I will focus on Sunday's carnival!!!

hello bloggie . . . I am sorry people, I have not updated you. I have not been very at leisure lately. It has been rather stressful for me recently. I will be having a carnival this sunday and we will be competing with well-known schools. I don't want to say that they're good because no matter how good they are, we will still play against them, intercept their balls and score goals. I know we will do that because I'm sicked of losing out. You may think I am crapping but these are my heartfelt words. I will do my best at the carnival but it depends on whether I will be given the chance. However, this is a team game. If I'm the only one thinking like that, it's of no point. I need to get the team to think this way.
I am afraid that I will be affected by some obstacles in my way. Sometimes, I wonder why teenagers can be so dumb . . . It's like I just found out that one of my friend whom is a him, he lost his virginity. Well, life's just that, if you don't treasure it, you will only live to regret it. That said, maybe I should not make that comment because only the people who have gone through it and regretted it have that authority to say that it's a dumb thing to do.
Yesterday night, I sat in my room on the floor and listened to an mp3 player. As the music went through my head, thoughts began flowing. I wondered what I wanted in life once again. This time, I thought hard and I decided that I would join the next Punggol Superstar if there was one. I began singing my heart out because of what life was. After singing for half an hour, I thought that I was tired and maybe singing was not my passion? People looked and thought hard before they found the passion of their life. My dad found his. I have not. Though I do find some passion in netball.
Alright, i got to go .. . Take care people.

hello bloggie . . . I am very exhausted and dead-beat after training today. Basically, my day today was everything about training. Training began. Ms Teoh arrived and we expected the things as usual. However, today we had quite alot of stamina training compared to the previous trainings. Firstly, I don't know whether to count myself as unlucky or simply lucky. Ms Teoh volunteered to help me do ballwork because we had to do it in pairs. I had a 'ball of a time'. I had to keep up with her and it was very tiring for me. However, I think that keeping up with her standard will be beneficial for me because I am pushed to my limits to a greater level? hahas. Yupp . . . We had several ball games and something happened that left an impression on me. I don't think I should comment on it. I feel that Ms Lim is still very concerned about us and I love her. I mean that she is still our 'mother', of course she is still concerned about us. I am beginning to feel Ms Teoh's concern for me to excel in netball, she wants to push me to my limits and I nearly 'died'. My eyes feel like they are burning right now maybe because I have wore my contact lens for a long period of time. My leg muscles are also beginning to ache a little. Alright . . . got to go . .. See Ya!

I am having a difficult week ahead . . . I have not been in the best of the moods lately hence don't provoke me okie. Hahas, I'm the peace-loving kind . . . heh heh. I am listening to a song right now and as I'm listening to it, I am reminiscing how he used to sing to me over the phone. However, it's now over. I don't know whether I should be glad or upset, I really don't know. I am clueless. It's hurting me now. I thought it was just a simple friendship but it turned out this way. I keep asking myself how it turned out this way. I need someone to hug me right now . . . Mabel's the right choice, she's always giving me hugs. I love her man. -.- III I will get over that idiot. I am determined! I am so sad . . . I really wished that later I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow without a single distraction and thought about him. I wished I could forget this whole incident. However, I think it's going to remain forever in my conscience as long as the river. I am really upset this time. I will stay positive! Sometimes, it's so difficult to stay positive when things are really down the drain. Well . . . I'm only a teenager, there's much more challenges and obstacles out there waiting for me to overcome them. Alright, I have got to go. See Ya!

Today I made a discovery about someone. He wasn't what I had always thought he was, he was a hypocrite in disguise. At least that's how I feel he is right now. I hear gossips about him having 'attitude' problem and . . . Drats it, I never knew he was such a person. Though I know gossips aren't to be trusted, I am beginning to believe them. I have been faced with many problems that are what teenages go through in their growing years. Those are very common. Crap! My muddle-headed dad lost the receipt to redeem my phone at the repair shop tomorrow. Drats! I miss my mobile phone badly man . . .
I have been having problems with my best girl-friend(friend), Mabel. I don't understand why she gives me the cold shoulder on certain occasion when I feel I have done nothing that is much of a concern. Well, maybe that 'nothing much of a concern' is a real concern to her. I feel helpless and clueless when she does that to me. "Do you understand how I feel? Please don't do that to me. I will try to be nicer to you in future, okie?" When Mei Xuan and I gets into this situation, Mei xuan will question me on what is wrong and what I have done to you. I am clueless. Is anything affecting you? Let me know.
Yesterday was the first day I experienced life without Ms Lim around. Today had an impact on me because we had morning run in the morning and I used to watch Ms Lim encouraging the taf students to jog. However, she was no longer there . . . I felt that I have lost a guardian angel but I had to let her go. I can still picture her doing her duties. I lost a very good coach.
As I said, many things have happened and I'm trying to take things step by step. I find things go much easier on me this way. I'm trying breeze through this phase of my life and at the same time, trying to learn something out of it.
Got to go . . . See ya!

dear bloggie . . . I'm so sad today, I didn't know that even speaking can cause my friendship with someone. I known this friend because he was a joker in the class and we went out together once, I find that he was a nice guy. He called me frequently at night and we chatted for long hours. Seriously, I don't know what went wrong. I could say I was jealous because he paid more attention to her. I don't understand it . . . What I have to say is . . . he should not have told me what he had to say over the phone that day. He shouldn't have. I think I'm falling for him. I mean how can this be? He isn't my type of guy, how can this be? I don't understand why I could be falling for him. Why? He touched me with his words, well . . . what I can is that this is the end of our friendship. I find it such a waste, he's the first guy I have ever been close to. It's never going to be the same again. I hope this is not going to affect me though I know it will. Thank god I have just got to know him. It won't hurt so much to forget these little memories. I will forget them. I'm going to stay focused alright. It's so troublesome to be in a relationship and it's commitment. I got a taste of it. -.-III hahas. Bye!

dearrie blog . . . Yesterday was a very memorable day for me. Ms Lim was leaving yesterday. The team baked her cakes and cookies and we ordered pizzas for her farewell party. However, the farewell party was a short one because she left for a photo shoot shortly. After we cleared up the area, we went down and prepared for training. We had circuit training. I was made the leader and we began training as usual. My group was the slowest of all, maybe because I am not suited to become a good leader. I am trying to be a good leader to lead people, however I am always not confident enough.
Yesterday I specially wrote a letter to Ms Lim. Inside, I wrote about how she said I had developed from a eenie-minnie Sec. 1 to this person, me. I can really say that I am much confident in things I do compared to the person I am 2 and a half years back. Well, maybe you will say that people change, furthermore a growing teenager like me. However, without Ms Lim's guidance and the Team's support & encouragement, I might never change that stupid attitude of mine which is that I worry at almost every single little thing and me being very selfish. I also get jealous and impatient easily, I'm sure Ms Lim knows that. I am rather glad that I have changed a little and I'm still trying. I'm also glad that I had made used of this 2 and a half years to learn as many values as I can. I'm sure these things go a long way to help me in the future.
Alright, got to go! Bye!

hello bloggie . . . I did lots housework today. I washed the hamsters' cage and clean my toilet. I have instantly being turned into a maid. Hahas. Basically, I did nothing plentiful today. Nothing fruitful done. Well, the only thing I did that is considered at least the bit exciting was going out for dinner with Amanda and co. Tomorrow I will be heading to the movies with Bai lin and my kor to watch 'The maid'. Hahas. Alright, See Ya!